[sunnydaysahead]

So -- I needed to tell someone, so I'm posting here. (I've been on this site for a couple years now, mostly lurking on the South Beach Diet threads -- I lost about 30 pounds on the SBD in '06-'07.)

Since moving to Asia a year and a half ago, I've developed a binging habit. I'm American and whenever I feel homesick, I go to the convenience store and buy breads/sweets/whatever I can find to fill myself up. I'll do this at night and eat secretly, hiding wrappers from my roommate and coworkers.

Surprisingly, I haven't gained back much weight -- I do live a pretty active lifestyle -- maybe only 5-7 pounds.

For the last two weeks, I've gone back on Phase 1 of the SBD (if you're not familiar with it, it's the no-bread/rice/grain part of the SBD, and definitely no sugar) because I'm sick of feeling unhealthy, tired and bloated. I've stayed with it really well and I have noticeably lost some weight. People are commenting. (I lose weight pretty quickly when I diet.)

But, today was my birthday (yay!) and I thought, I'll just have a piece of cake and some ice cream.

That led to eating an entire box of candy that my roommate had put in the freezer, two PBJ sandwiches and almost all of a box of Lucky Charms.

I've worked hard for the last couple weeks to eat really well, to exercise, to avoid crappy foods... and now I'm sitting here, stomach aching... but if there was a half-pint of ice cream sitting in front of me, I'd eat it all.

It's really hard being outside of the US because many of my comfort foods are not available, or are super-expensive. I like Asian food, but nothing compares with cheese and chocolate.

And it's discouraging because being thin here is THE be-all end-all for women. It's all anyone talks about. I get so many compliments when I'm looking thinner. But it just makes me want to stuff my face with food.



Ack. I guess I'm just writing because I feel discouraged and I wanted to talk to people who also deal with this. I never used to binge, but since moving away from home, it's become the way I deal with stress and homesickness.

[Hungry4AChange]

Greetings from the US and Happy Belated Birthday!
I just read your post and decided to comment...I bet I have a pretty good idea what you're going through...you see I spent 2 months in SE Asia last Spring and also had a problem with binge eating. It was so wierd...like I hate Oreos and would never touch them here, but when I was there I would go through packs of them...not sure why...I actually also love the food that they eat and so I don't think it was a comfort food thing...probably just me taking out those feelings of lonliness and isolation on food. I also dealt with the shame and guilt that goes along with binging, and the stress of feeling like an over indulgent American in a land of tiny waists. Even most of the men were smaller than me! Often times when we were out in villages people would comment on my weight or even come up to me and pinch my arm fat. Totally uncool! My only advice to you is to stop focusing on what you're eating and start thinking about why you're eating it. Something I've found helpful on my trip was keeping a food journal...not denoting calories or nutritional information...just writing down what I've eaten and where I am at emotionally. Sometimes it helps me to interrupt the binging process. Hope this helps and you're feeling better soon.
Take Care!

[fatmad]

Hope you find coming here helpful in your quest to avoid the binges.
You must feel a bit lonely at times away from home. I hope you are overall enjoying the adventure of being in a different place tho.
best wishes for the holidays

[sunnydaysahead]

Hi ladies,
thanks for commenting -- I appreciate it.
Hungry4AChange, I think that's part of it -- in Asia everyone is thinner and smaller -- including the men -- so I start feeling really unfeminine/giant. And yeah, I don't eat much junk food when I'm in the US, but here, I see a Snickers and go crazy!
Thanks FatMad -- yeah it can be lonely, but it is also (mostly) a good adventure. I'm coming back to the states to visit soon, though, and really looking forward to it.