Most of all, I want to get back down to a normal weight for me, get healthier, look better, etc.--but my indecision and self-sabotage have me getting perilously close to 300 now, and I'm gaining, not losing.
I have severe cravings for carbs, and eating them causes me to want more and more and more of them, which means that I should probably be low carbing for weight loss.
However, I just can't make myself stick to low carbing. Then I go back to trying to count calories, but end up throwing in the towel by late afternoon/early evening every day and finishing the day with tons of carbs.
This morning I determined, once again, to have a fresh start at low carbing, so I made myself a nice ham and cheddar omelette, which should have been "enough", but all of a sudden, I had an urge to eat PopTarts (which I stupidly bought a couple of days ago), and ate FOUR of them!
What on earth is wrong with me?
Has anyone experienced similar self-sabotage?
How did you overcome it?
Hey Becky,
I have definately experienced the same exact behaviors! It's so crazy making and confusing. My heavest 260 was a daunting number for me. I've had a week of sticking to my food plan and I am truly doing it minute by minute. If I don't make grand goals for myself and just try to get through the difficult moment I'm in, I find it helpful. I can't have certain foods in my house. I just can't. My husband knows that if he really wants these foods he needs to have them out of the house. It felt really shaming admitting this to him, he is not a food addict. I remember around the holiday season someone at his office gave him one of my trigger foods. He suggested I just "forget about them". Easier said then done and just to hard for me. I am powerless over certain foods and that works really well for me. I don't even try to have a realationship with them, because I know I can't. Hang in there. You are worth being healthy.
Thank you for replying, Laura--and good for you on sticking with your plan!
Yes, this is VERY crazy making. I didn't used to have quite as much of a problem, but for some reason, especially after crossing the 250 mark, it's gotten worse and worse.
It's like some kind of a switch was thrown, and my body and appetites have gone haywire.
I think I've also completely given up on myself, and feel like it's hopeless for me to even keep trying to lose, because the scale just keeps going up and up. Yet, what choice do I have but to keep trying? Every time I pass another new "decade" in weight, I think to myself, NEVER in my life would I have pictured myself this big. I just cannot keep going like this.
I'm glad I noticed this part of the boards though, because it sounds like there are a lot of people here who are battling similar things.
I'm wondering how much always trying to follow certain "diets" has added to this problem? I don't think I'd be half as bad if I had just never started trying to follow a diet in the first place.
But I'm this far up the scale now--I have to find my way back down.
It's hard to say, but stop buying the poptarts. If you've got a family that you must buy food for... well, actually, stop buying the poptarts.
Whole grain bread and jam should do for the other people in your life. If you're only buying things for yourself you are going to have to stop buying things you can't control yourself around. It took me a while to stop craving the chips and candy that my mother buys for herself. It can be done though.
When trying to calorie count, it might be that you're setting your calories too low to stick to. I'm doing 2200 and 2600 calories. With that I'm doing 90 mins of walking 5 days a week, and 3 days of a strength building program with weights. Those 3 days are the 2600 cal days.
I've tried sticking to 1500 and less before, with no success (and one really bad result one time). With those above calories though I'm eating a lot of self-prepared food (even lately my own bread). I'm trying to move towards more 'real' food, for a lack of a better term. I started out with using some diet foods (flavoured rice minis, baked treats, etc.) but I'm moving away from them. It's amazing some days I have a problem getting those 2600 days to add up. Of course, I've always enjoyed fruits, veggies, etc. so I just have to limit some of the other things I like, but I can't eat with abandon. (cheese, tortillas, etc.)
I'm really not on a diet. I'm changing the way I live. Nothing I want is off limits. If I really want it, I'll work it in. I even worked in 4 very nice, high fat, ice cream bars without too much trouble. (200 cals on my high cal days) Although I think I won't buy another box of them for a while. I do a moderate carb diet (about 40% of my calories from carbs), since I couldn't really see myself giving up fruits, veggies, and that small piece of toast and jam I have some mornings.
Hi, I feel your pain... but I realized something about myself when I started 'again' a few weeks ago... I was so miserable, bingeing etc.. and my misery coincided with my sugar withdrawal...after about 10 days off sugar, I realized I was at least able to combat the cravings a bit... perhaps you can relate to this, or it may just be me... good luck
I think a lot of us can relate to your post as we've all done those things! The first few weeks are the hardest when you are trying to change your lifestyle habits and it is SO EASY to give in and be right back where you started.And that feeling of hopelessness really sucks and is so counter-productive to boot.
Set smaller goals. Even just daily goals. Don't think about the "big picture" yet, it is too overwhelming and can make you feel depressed. Think small changes and then accomplish them. Think about what you can do just for today and then do it. Then set new goals for tomorrow. You CAN do this!
I'm sure most of us have felt the exact same thing to varying degrees, I know I have. You've already gotten some great advice from folks above, but I'll also tell you what is currently helping me.
First - I just don't buy the trigger foods. You mentioned Pop Tarts, they are deadly for me, too. I only go grocery shopping when I'm feeling strong and when I'm not hungry. I write a list, and I buy what is on the list. It helps me a lot to bring my husband, because I don't want to screw up in front of him, lol. Now granted, I live about a mile & a half from a grocery store, but I find that if I do not have trigger foods on hand right then & there, I can fight the urges much better.
Also, I now realize that because I'm an emotional eater, I HAVE to figure out what thoughts I'm having that are causing the negative emotions that spur my binges. In the end though, I know that if I have an urge to binge because I am "stressed out" -- if I DO binge I'm still going to be stressed out! And on top of that I'll be bloated, feeling guilty, depressed and probably even more stressed out. The binge is such a fleeting way to deal with it.
I wish you all the luck in the world - I suffer with it, too. But when I heard my orthopaedic surgeon mention "total knee replacement" in my future (and I'm only 36!!!) I got scared. My weight is "officially" destroying my health. That is a huge motivation for me. You just have to take it one day at a time. It CAN be done and it CAN be done by YOU!!!
I agree with the others--ban the PopTarts from your house! I read a lot of people saying things like that they need to have chips in the house for their husband, or they need to have cookies in the house for their kids...I call BS. NO ONE needs that kind of junk food, even if they are thin. It is poison no matter what you weigh, so no one in your house needs it.
My fiance likes junk food. He especially has a thing for giant cinnamon muffins from the grocery store bakey. I do buy them for him when we grocery shop (we ALWAYS shop together or else I will buy junk food and binge in the car on my way home from the store--he doesn't know that's why he shops with me, though--he just thinks I like having him with me ). When we get home from the store, I put his junk food in one of the shopping bags and leave it on the counter. None of the packages are alowed to be opened at home. He takes all his junk food to his office at work and leaves it there. I am NEVER tempted because it isn't available for me to eat.
All of that said, watch you probably live alone, so this is all pointless
However, I have also lived alone, and here's what I did. I bought lots of food, but it was all unprepared. I never kept easy convenience foods around. Everything in my kitchen required preparation before it could be eaten (with the exception of maybe fruit). I would only keep raw meat, plain bread, condiments, frozen veggies, things like that. There really was nothing unhealthy in my kitchen that I could just grab and eat mindlessly. Everything required preparation and, being the lazy person I am, that was too much work for me to do if I wasn't really hungry
Even now that I live with my fiance, our kitchen is getting to be a lot like this. I hand "the munchies" last night, and I scoured the freezer, fridge, cabinets, and pantry for junk, and I came up empty handed. I ended up with some all-natural unsweetened applesauce with cinnamon. Not bad at all
I don't think this is self-sabotaging; I think that you're out of balance. I've tried low-carbing but I got so depressed from lack of serotonin that I was on the verge of tears. But I just started The Insulin Resistant Diet and I've never felt so balanced. Basically, you can eat 30g of simple carbs (grains, pasta, sugar, potatoes, etc) during a 2-hour period, and it must be eaten with at least 14g protein.
So, as for this morning, you could have had your omelette AND one pop tart, and then 2 hours later you could have had more protein and another pop tart! Now, the ultimate goal is to not have the pop tarts at all, but at least this way your body won't store any of it as fat. Carbs in beans, some fruits, and dairy are not counted since the body doesn't store them the same way it does for grains.
Saturday I had a slice of pepperoni pizza with a salad, and this was ALLOWED! My body didn't store any of it as fat since once slice of pizza has about 30 carbs (didn't eat the crust-part that you hold), and the pepperoni and cheese had enough protein to counteract my body storing carbs as fat. Make sense?
I've quit fighting with my body, and my cravings are going waaaay down. If I want pieces of black liquorice I just make sure I eat no more than 30g carbs' worth (about 4 pieces) and I eat protein with it- so simple. The more you fight your body the more it will win. But if you can learn to outsmart it, then that's the key!!!
The more you fight your body the more it will win. But if you can learn to outsmart it, then that's the key!!!
I agree. But at the same time, "outsmarting" your body is different for everyone, so it's still a big challenge to find what works for you. For me, when I did South Beach, I pretty much lost all cravings for sugar and simple carbs and felt great. Going cold turkey for things like PopTarts for just 2 weeks completely changed how my body responded to certain foods, and I finally felt like I had control over my food instead of the other way around.
Self-Sabotaging Up To Nearly 300
). When we get home from the store, I put his junk food in one of the shopping bags and leave it on the counter. None of the packages are alowed to be opened at home. He takes all his junk food to his office at work and leaves it there. I am NEVER tempted because it isn't available for me to eat.
