[kdbrown1385]

Hi, I'm new...

I just started my "lifestyle change in eating habits". I don't do diets because they seem temporary. I've gotten to the point where I couldn't stand it no longer and started to binge, I'm only on my 3rd day...I also have a history of bulimia.

Any advice I can receive to help control my urge to binge eat, please! I feel like I just screwed up everything I worked for up until this point.

[Bikini Dreader]

I wish I had time to write a longer message but I wanted to respond quickly. First of all - WELCOME! This is a great group with others who are very familiar with how you are feeling. It's a tough challenge but you can and will beat this.

I also have been on the journey to change my lifestyle and what has been most important for me is to not expect perfection. This is a long term change so putting yourself on a diet is too cut and dry for most which is what leads to a binge (for me anyway). You seem to have a good handle on your need to not diet. Good for you!

I think it is really hard for someone that has struggle with disordered eating and an unhealthy relationship with food (as I have too) to just jump into this. There is a lot going on mentally that you need to work through as well as your behaviour. I read some really great books that might help you: "the taming of the chew- a holistic guide to ending overeating", "The Secret" and "The Celestine Prophecy" also really helped me. They gave me a totally new perspective that was necessary for change in my behaviour. Sure I have days where I go back to old habits, but you have to forgive yourself and move on. There should be no "good" or "bad" foods. That is an unhealthy way of looking at food. Each choice you make is a seperate one. So if you eat a bigger lunch, forgive yourself and move on. Maybe you'll make a better dinner choice for your health.

Pat yourself on the back just for coming on here and putting some of your struggles down on paper!

For me, I had to get Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. You can read about it in books too and The Secret is sort of a way of donig the same thing but I found it really helped me.

Believe in yourself and love the person you are right now. Don't wait until tomorrow to start your life becuase each choice you make makes a difference. Treat yourself well. Eat a proper amount of food. If you are trying to eat very few calories, you will force your body to beg for food and that could lead to a binge.

The people in this group in particular are very helpful and supportive. I'm sorry this message is so quick, but I just wanted you to know you aren't alone and you can get through this.

Have you gotten counselling for your eating disorder? In my opinion, this might help a lot. Dieting, bingeing, not eating, purging, they are all the same symptom of a bigger problem. It's really important to figure out why you have this unhealthy relationship with food before any true behavioural changes can be made.

keep posting

[Janie Canuck]

Hi and welcome! I, too, applaud your realization that you need to stay away from formal dieting. I have a history of binge eating as well, though it has waxed and waned over the years. Right now, I've been doing very well (touch wood), and I truly believe, like you, that formal dieting is something that I have to avoid.

I know all too well the scenario - you decide to have "a" treat, it spirals into a binge, then that spirals into a 5 day blur of stuffing yourself. The big thing for me is what Bikini said - you HAVE to find it within yourself to forgive yourself for eating imperfectly, and MOVE ON. I think we often binge to punish ourselves for screwing up our diets. Then we think we will diet again "tomorrow", so we might as well live it up, so to speak, until the diet starts again. It is a vicious cycle, though, because then we eat more to punish ourselves for the binge, and on and on it goes.

I have a couple of books to add to Bikini's suggestions...."Fit from Within" by Victoria Moran and "Diets Don't Work" by (I hope I'm remembering this one) John Schwartz. They are both all about reclaiming a healthy relationship with food, and achieving a healthy body weight through listening to your body and eating like a "normal person". Naturally, to lose weight, some restraint and common sense must be exercised, but these books don't advocate restricting food groups, tracking calories, counting portions, etc. I don't mean to criticize people who use those methods - clearly they work for a lot of people. But for some of us, they just lead us into disordered eating.

[kdbrown1385]

Thank you both very much!! Yes, I'm currently in counseling because I also have a problem with depression and anxiety, but we also discuss my eating disorder(s). I know that my depression and anxiety play a major role when it comes to my eating behavior.

Again thank you both, and I will check out some of those books.