i'm new here, as of a few days ago when i signed on, but i haven't introduced myself since then!!! i think i have this inner fear that if i "try" like technically reach out hoping for something, i won't find anyone here who relates to me and just feel dumb. i mentioned that some of my issues are different from other's, but like many of you, i'm wanting to take a chance and climb out of my thick skin because it's lonely in here and the battles feel harder alone. so, here goes.
i initially looked for eating disorders/anorexia sites for blogging/support/accountability, but i have ALWAYS found that whether in a group face to face or via email, there lies a subtle but defeating sense of competition instead of genuine support in getting better....like "good job, keep working on your meal choices...have you gained or lost weight?" as if that matters. what matters is my inner struggle, so over the years i have found that women seeking to lose weight are more genuine in supporting one another, knowing that the food issue is generally emotional issues that drive the food battle (in either direction).
i admire the sincerity of women bonding together to support eachother in reaching small goals. i have many of my own, and need as much support as anyone, but with other women with anorexia, there is always an "am i still smaller than you?" undertone and it remains lonely in such company. i miss having women in my life, to talk to, to process this stuff with....to be accountable to and offer accountability to. all the women in my family struggle with being overweight and we always find our struggles are A. very similar B. worse and more difficult alone and C. only successful with support.
so, i wonder, as i battle weight, my demons with food, sugar, emotional eating/ not eating, bad habits i want to break and good ones i'd like to gain, would i be welcome here? can we work on small goals together?
You are certainly welcome here! You have a great attitude about healing, and that's so important. Yes, we have had people here on occasion who have embraced the ana lifestyle, but we're here to help people to heal... not to encourage them to continue on destructive paths.
Small goals are the best kinds... they lead to great things. We're here for you!
I am sorry that you have had such a negative experience elsewhere.
But, I assure you that no unhealthy competition exists here, and especially not in this CIC forum. This is a site for helpful support.
So, Welcome!!
But, keep in mind that this is still a site really for people trying to lose weight while conquoring their demons. So, just be prepared for people's weights and weight loss successes to be plastered all over the place--- because it is (and should be) such a source of pride for the women (and men) on this board.
Welcome to the group. i too struggle with disordered eating for many years now. I have found this site to be very helpful and especially this area as I have started binge eating more recently. Half the challenge is modifying my thoughts as I have been working on that for a while. As I can classify myself as anorexic in the past, eventually toward compulisive and binge eating, or maybe all of them at once, I think cognitive behaviour therapy has helped me quite a bit. My self defeating thoughts are what has been my problem for a long time. My attitude was always expect the worst and hope for the best. After many dissapointments and broken promises, I think I was protecting myself from hoping and being dissapointed. One thing I now realize is that is not a nice way to live. I got therapy for this specific thing and it changed a lot of aspects of my life. Now I feel I have the tools to change my behaviour although sometimes I do slip up.
I understand the competition that creeps up too. It's a scary thought but can be true. We all try to be as supportive as we hope others are for us. I find trying to help others on the site helps me to feel good as well. This site is great though!
Location: i am neither greek nor athenian, but a citizen of the world.
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honey, i've been up, down, and all around with my weight. diagnosed with anorexia, severely overweight..it's all the same stuff. right now I'm just trying to lose a teeny bit but as I'm sure you'll understand, that teeny bit can make all the difference to one with our mindset.
and you're so right about those other boards.
remember food is good but other stuff is better xx
Of course you're welcome! As Charlotte said, it IS primarily a weight loss site, but there is also a heavy emphasis on being healthy. People who have goals that would put them below a healthy range are gently encouraged to reconsider their goals and their health. Nobody buys into that competition thing here - it's all about supporting each other.