Ok everybody, I need to rant a little bit...

The last months (the last 9 months) were not good for me. There was not a day when I felt ok and healthy. It started with a series of the flu and a bit of jaw pain. In January, the jaw pain went worse. So worse that I had to take a lot of strang pain meds in the last months- with all of their nice side effects. I wasnīt able to do a lot, I had to cancel my final exam date a few times...And I saw so many physicians and dentists...No one really knows why I am so sick. Maybe my lyme disease is reactivated.
Not very nice.

During that not so nice times, my back and neck went really tensed and hurtful. So I went to a woman who was supposed to take care of it. Well, unfortunately she didnīt. She didnīt really cared about what I said. All she wanted was selling me a NEW DIET. She made seminary where she learned about a new diet. Interestingly, the new diet plan and some advice on it would cost me nearly $400! A lot money for a poor student. (After all, the diet is very similar to South Beach/ Atkins).

I said "No, thank you!". I am in pain and preparing for an exam, so a new diet is not very high on my list....She started to be unfriendly and said that the roots of all my problems were my overweight. If I wouldnīt lose weight, I never, never would be happy.
And she more or less told me that if she would jump out of the window if she was my weight....And that I would impress the Profs in my exam more if I would be thin (good idea, 70% of it is a WRITTEN exam).

She told me that I should loss AT LEAST around 45- 65 lb. In the next 3 months. No problem with the new diet. To compare the numbers: my physician who treats me for insulin resistance would be very happy if I would lose 15lb. At the moment, my weight is 174lb (5'4).

What makes me angry is that physician and a lot of other people always reduce me to my weight! I guess i could come to an ER because someone shoot me and at least one person would say: Hey, your main problem is your weight!

I am suffering from Binge eating disorder/ bulimia since more than 14 years. I am now slowly on my way to recovery. I work hard not to focus on my weight and food all day- so it would be helpful if the others would try to do the same!

And what about that "You would look really beautiful if you would lose weight! Such a pretty face!"- comment? Meant to be encouraging or what?
Is looking good AND being overweight impossible?

And, last but not least, I am angry because it seems that I am such an easy target...Itīs like I had a sign tatooed on my face: Please feel free to comment on my life etc. and give my advices and eating plans.

Ok, meaningless rant is over.

Kate &

Hi there. I have been lurking at this site for a little while now, but I decided to register today because I felt the need to respond to your post.

I know exactly what you mean. You have my utmost sympathy that there are so many clueless, rude people in the world. At this point my belief is that these "helpful" people who make comments like how "pretty" we'd be if we just lost the weight etc... will simply find new comments to make if they didn't have our weight to target. Their comments aren't to help us but to feel themselves in a loftier position so they can offer advice. Even when we lose our weight, this need of theirs won't go away.

Possible suggestion for your ills: I went through a period of time where I was struggling with asthma that did not respond to meds; I hurt so much in all my joints, including my spine, that I could barely get out of bed in the morning; I was sick constantly; and I was utterly exhausted all of the time. I could sleep 11 hours straight and still wake up feeling completely wiped out. This all of course led to a fair amount of depression. Outside of being willing to push some pills to help alleviate symptoms and telling me to lose weight, the doctors were no help. I did a little research and decided to try to at least get a handle on the asthma by eliminating dairy from my diet. This was no easy task for me because I loved dairy. (When you investigate how much dairy is added to foods, it is truly amazing.) After a few days of going dairy free, my asthma not only improved but my pain and fatigue stopped. After two weeks I tried reintroducing dairy and immediately the pain and fatigue returned. It turns out, even though I had no digestive system complaints or obvious problems with it when I was younger, I have become highly sensitive to dairy and was having a strong immune system response to it. One that effected how my entire body functioned. Without dairy, I have a lot more energy, no swollen joints, rarely have trouble breathing - unless the pollen count is absolutely through the roof - and am rarely sick. In short, I feel like a new woman.

Is it possible that you too may have developed an undiagnosed food allergy/sensitivity?

And I hardly think your post is a meaningless rant...

Kate. First of all, you're being SLIGHYLY overweight has nothing to do with any pain or ailments. That women was just trying to sell you something. That's it. She didn't see a person when she saw you -- she saw a potential sale. You could have went in there at 120 pounds and she would have probably said the same thing. The garbage that spewed out of her mouth was purely ludicrous. Forget everything she said. You're a bright, beautiful, funny, strong woman who's beat one addiction already -- and made it through so much more with your head still firmly on your shoulders -- you should be very proud of your accomplishments (I am).

I hope you feel better -- and get some real answers about your malady. Be strong.

All the right things have already been said so I will simply say that I too have Lyme disease and my many odd aches, pains, sensations and worries are likely a cause of them. That doesn't settle my mind when I am in the midst of an attack, but I thought I would offer my two cents all the same. PM me any time you like!

Oh, Kate! You dear girl... I'm so sorry you had to put up with that crap from that woman. AND from other people!
Every moment of your life you are a beautiful (inside and out), intelligent, caring woman. Size has nothing to do with any of that, and why people feel that it's okay to offer their advice is beyond me.

I wish I had some clever words for you, but I don't, because I've been there (I think we all have), and "I hear you".
All I can offer is a big hug.

And please give me the name and address of that woman, because I'm going to have a hit put out on her.

Hi everybody!

Thank you all for your nice words and encouragment! It really helped me!

k8t: First of all: !
Looking into a food allergy/sensitivity is quite a good idea! I just had the thought that maybe I am lacking something as well...I am vegetarian and I am not so fond of dairy products, so itīs extremely hard to get enough protein...

Ok, and a stupid questions: how do you felt as you knew that you had to give up diary products? Did it help that you knew it would solve your problem or did you feel "diety" at the beginning?
And how did you find out that the problem came from those foods? Trial and error?

HarpoChicoGroucho: Thanks ! Yeah, I guess she is really trying to sell something- after all, those fancy weekend seminars are expensive! So I guess I help her, did some research and give her what everybody who wants to sell something useless desperately needs: scientific based bad publicity

SoulBliss: I am sorry for troubles with Lyme disease! I guess I`ll PM you soon!

ellis: Thanks for the offer, but I guess hitting that woman is
a) not worth moving
b) not much fun. She is proud that she hadnīt gained weight since...I think she said since Kindergarten. So hitting is totally unnecessary, just a slightly blowing wind has the same effect on her


Kate

I understand what you went though! The same has happened to me before. I was referred to a dietician last year and she took my weight and height and told me a lot of things I already knew, but then tried to put me onto one of the most expensive diet regimes in Britain! I would've had to pay Ģ300 a year for gym membership, plus the cost of the special food you're required to eat.

And I said no thank you, and got the same response as you! I was told that my bf would leave me if I didnt get thinner, I'd end up an old worthless hag, etc etc.

I was an undiagnosed "diabulimic" someone who stops taking their insulin to stay thin. I actually didnt know that weight loss was the byproduct of skipping my meds, and instead of information about it, and help from my doctors, I got a very angry talking to from my doctor. He blatantly accused me of trying to lose weight the "bad way".

It really hurts when people who are supposedly there to help dont actually listen to you and your situation.

I hope you find someone better to help you with your pain!

(btw, I know someone in Cologne ^-^ Really nice place, that is)

What a biatch!

She gives dieticians a bad name... see, I'm taking some classes to become a personal trainer and a nutritionist - more like a low-level dietician, but DANG - I started taking these classes so that when I'm done, I can be in the business of HELPING people, not manipulating them into paying ridiculous amounts of money for "expert" advice on something they could figure out themselves with a little Google research!

I've never been told by a dietician or nutritionist that i need to lose weight or my life would be ruined, but it could be that it's been around 4 years since I've even seen one... and at that time, I was too thin (AND had eating disorders). Putting that kind of pressure on women who already feel bad enough about their weight (AND are trying to do something about it!) is SO despicable and uncalled for! Plus, I imagine it would ALSO lead to eating disordered behavior if continuous visits were in store... or at least unnecessary obsession over food.

Also: I have a dietician friend who has a VERY warped self view: she's an exercise bulemic who always calls herself fat, when in reality, she's WAY too skinny and desperately needs to eat some carbs or fat or SOMETHING! I'm pretty sure a large portion of dieticians are like her - why else would they spend so much time studying food and then degrading others who aren't thin?

Hi again. I sent you a PM to answer your questions. Tried posting them here, but the post wouldn't cooperate for some reason.

Hi Kate -

I too have Lymes and your symptoms sound like flair ups. I was told by my infectious disease doctor, who is very good, to eliminate all processed wheat and sugar and that my aches would settle down. And they do. Apparently the little Lymes buggers like sugar and get more active when I feed them!

I am shocked by your experience with doctors! They have treated you badly. Fire the bad ones and find a new one. You deserve it!