Tomorrow is Groundhog's Day, which probably doesn't mean much to anyone but me. It means something to me because it was the day I was born 50 years ago tomorrow!
Ugh. I can't believe I'm turning 50. Where did 17 go? When did I stop being in my 30s? I can't believe how fast these last years have passed.
I can't believe that I could reach the age of 50 and still not feel any different really than I did as a teenager. I'm still me, haven't changed that much. Well I've gotten fatter and older, and had more life experiences, but in some ways in my heart I'm still the girl I was then.
Life is just too short. I really expected to feel more together by the time I was this old. In some ways I feel like I'm still a kid, still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. In other ways I look back and have times when I want to go revisit something I remember and sometimes it takes me a few minutes to realize that a lot of those things don't even exist any more. It is a really freaky feeling. I have memories of friends and people I've loved and known over the years, places I've been and enjoyed that someone I knew used to own, but that they no longer have. Things I want to go back and do or places I want to go back and be, or people I want to go back and see, and I can't.
It is just weird and creepy.
But in some ways being this age is good. I finally got past the change of life so that now my ups and downs emotionally aren't so drastic. No more hideous mood swings leaving me feeling depressed and upset for no reason. No more puffy water retention during that time of the month.
I've been having a bit of a crisis for the last few days. Nothing dramatic, just questioning my life, my choices, my success or lack thereof. This is weird and I don't much like it.
Hopefully though some of this water will be gone tomorrow and I can at least have a new lower weight to look at on the scale. That would be a nice thing.
Sherry,
I always wonder how 'wise' I'll feel at 50 and at 30 I feel like I am still 16 too, just with bills to pay now. As you reflect back, try to look at all of the awesome things you've done, the great things you've accomplished. And at 50 you can still accomplish and do everything that you've been waiting or wanting to do Have a super birthday
Lacey
Thanks guys. I'm not unhappy, just feeling weird about it all. I don't like the idea of getting old, because I don't really FEEL old. But getting older does seem to limit your options, and that is disturbing to me.
Anyway thanks for listening and being so nice. Good thing is that my extra weight that I had due to salt in the last few days is gone again and first try on the scale this morning my weigh was back down to the 250.5 that I saw a couple of days ago. So I did meet my groundhog's day goal and exceed it by half a pound!
I think I know how you're feeling, I went thru a bit of a crisis last year when I turned 40. I didnt want to turn 40, and I want to turn 41 even less!! But hey its better than the alternative right??
I find myself watching a senior, or an older couple and wonder how they feel in their heads....still feel 25, with a 75 yr old body? I think its natural to feel this way...I know for me, it makes me feel alot more comfortable with myself. One of the good things about getting older, I have confidence, and absolutely no concern for other's opinions about me. I dont know if Im making any sense .... but hang in there, and enjoy the ride
It's funny - my birthdays do not bother me at all, but my little baby brother's really do. I'm 42 and he just turned 40 and it drove me crazy. My little baby brother is not suppposed to be 40!!!
People wonder why I don't remember how old I am (um...old age creeping in? ). It's mainly because it's just a number to me. If I remember how old I am I guess I think I have to ACT that way I know I'm getting close to 40 and I think it's a couple years away. If people REALLY need to know I give them the year I was born and tell THEM to figure it out
Groundhog's Day
Happy Birthday!!!
Happy Birthday Sherry!!
