I know so many people that don't say anything about your weight until you lose it. Then they think they are free to comment all they want.

Like "wow, you look so great since you've lost all that weight", or "you were so fat, you must feel better now' or something like that.

My question is, if you won't say something like that to someone in their current state, why do you think it's ok to comment on it after it's gone?

Does anyone else feel that's not right, or get upset when it happens?

My dad told me 2 years ago on Christmas "boy, you sure have gained a lot of weight. What you going to do about it." Yup, didn't make me happy. Then turned around and commented about the fact that I DID lose weight. Some people feel it's ok to point out that you've lost weight--and think you'll take it as a compliment. Human nature? It's not right, but that's the way people are...rude?

I do understand where you're coming from. I'm a sensitive person who probably takes things out of context much more than I should. But sometimes it feels like a snide comment when someone who never talks to me says anything about how thin my face looks now or says "You lost a LOT of weight". But I'd much rather that they comment on how I look now as opossed to when I was 250. So I try to take it as a positive comment and smile and thank them. It's VERY weird to me how people who wouldn't give me the time of day when I was 250 are suddenly coming out of the woodwork and going out of their way to be nice to me. I am the same person on the inside.

When I weighed 250 I sure as heck didn't FEEL like 250. I see football players who are my height and weigh 250 and everyone calls them the 'big boys'. Anyway, what I was trying to say...I really hate the "ALL THAT WEIGHT" comment. It makes me wonder if they talked about all my weight to other people like no one could see the problem. Thanks for starting this thread, very interesting discussion!!

Lacey

Usually its just my mom that will mention it.....but not even the weight loss, just that Im looking really good. Dad will say Im gettin skinny again, then comment..."its about time" But I know he means it lots of love. He never tells me its time to take the weight off, never interferes. I never take offense when he says it......maybe its because he never says it when Im eating chocolate I have one friend who notices, then very quickly asks me if I did it on purpose or have I been ill. Gotta love her!! Thats usually about it, besides dh of course and dd when she tells me Im not as cushy as I used to be.

I dont take offense when someone asks me if I lost weight. I had an uncle tell me I lost 1/2 of myself.......well I did But I dont think Ive been treated any different by ppl since loosing it. Not that I noticed anyway.

Im rambling but I think I answered your question.

Just an after thought........maybe they dont ask me anymore because Im an olympic yo-yo dieter?? (thats changeing tho!!)

I wouldn't want anyone to say to me BOY YOUR FAT !!!
But I do want people to notice and comment on my weight loss, it makes me feel good and knowing that people notice my hard efforts

People do not say boy you are fat unless I make a comment about how much I have gained since starting to work again. they say yea you were really thin then, you looked so good. but you know it is the truth and I brought the subject up so that is my fault. and I do not take offence since .... wellI am wearing the shoe!! and it fits

Lacey, that's exactly what I mean It's like, if I wasn't good enough to talk then, why are you suddenly so interested?

Here's another question, if you met someone like that, whom you know never spoke a word to you until you lost weight and now, can't seem to get enough of you, would you give them the snub or try to be friends?

This is interesting that you ask this.

I have a friend who says we're 'best' friends but whom I've called EVERY time for the past five years. She NEVER calls me first. She lives about 100 miles away and comes down to see her family every other weekend but hasn't been to my house in over three years and I live 3 miles away from her mom.

situation: 'best friend' who hasn't called me in five years calls me last night. Wanna know what the first thing she told me was? How her sister went on and on about how much weight I've lost.

Of course I talked to her just like I do everytime we talk and I value having any kind of friendship since I have no close friends, but it did make me feel weird that this is the first time she's called and that's the first thing she mentioned.

So I'd love to hear everyone elses' answers as well. Are they WORTH IT? Should we just do the fat jolly smile and be happy that we're finally acceptable to talk to?? I'm still not sure. For me, I'm still so stunned that these people are talking to me that I kinda freeze and just smile when they try to strike up a conversation.

What do you do tuurtlemama??

"So I'd love to hear everyone elses' answers as well. Are they WORTH IT? Should we just do the fat jolly smile and be happy that we're finally acceptable to talk to?? I'm still not sure. For me, I'm still so stunned that these people are talking to me that I kinda freeze and just smile when they try to strike up a conversation."

NO way!!!! We are the same person wether we have an extra layer of fat or not. If I wasn't good enough for you then, you're not good enough for ME now. That's the way I look at it. I would still be polite to someone like that, after all I don't know what they are thinking or if it's really the case, but I wouldn't be grateful they finally noticed me and just give them my all right off the bat.

As for your friend, I dunno. I think it's pretty weird too. If it were me, I would stop doing all the work. One sided friendships/relationships are one of my biggest pet peeves and if I did all the work, then I would just stop doing it. I wouldn't call or go out of my way for that person anymore, especially considering she is so close to you all the time. Let her be the one to come around on her own. Come to your own conclusions about what her motives are. I know what it's like to not have any close friends and want to grab onto whatever you can. It's hard, but you still have to stand up for you and make sure you are treated right.

I dunno if I helped or not

This is an interesting question. I can honestly say I if this happened to me re: weightloss I dont know. Because if they showed any more interest in me after my weightloss, I didnt let them get too close. I have very few friends too. But I like it that way.

But....I did experience this phenomena (sp?) when I didnt have children. I was that "woman" that didnt have kids, and had resigned myself to the fact that I couldnt have any. Well, my reasons for being childless were personal, but it was amazing the women that would have nothing to do with me!! Once I got pregnant and had my daughter these women were so friendly and tried very hard to get me involved with them and their lives.

I didnt want anything to do with them....I wasnt good enough childless??? So its pretty much the same idea.....Im not good enough fat??? Then you are not worth my time.

Long winded but I hope that helped.

Robin, that's exactly my point too. It's hard not seem "bitter" but if that's what it looks like, then call me bitter I guess. I'm not, I just don't like being judged on my outsides instead of my insides.