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Old 07-22-2004, 10:21 PM   #1  
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Angry I give up

Well I can't seem to do this so I am just done. I guess I deserve to be fat for the rest of my life. After all, I am the only one who can do anything about it right? It's just simple act of saying no and choosing the best thing. I can't even do that so obviously something somewhere is telling me to forget it, that I will always be fat forever and I deserve it since I won't seem to change it.

I am tired of making "mistakes" or messing up. Yeah, sure it's fine to mess up once in a while, but every damn day is not once in a while. That's lying to myself and pretending to do it so why bother. I don't understand how people can lose a whole other person in weight. All I can say is more power to you, you are obviously a better person that me.

Last edited by Cinnymamma; 07-22-2004 at 10:23 PM.
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Old 07-22-2004, 11:01 PM   #2  
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Hey Randi - don't give up! Sure, saying 'no' and making the right choices is part of it, but I think this whole weight loss thing is a lot more complicated than that, so don't beat yourself up for a rough start. Weight loss, in my opinion, is hard because we have to change bad habits, and I think habits are difficult things to change (it took me *forever* to get a handle on the nail-biting thing!). It almost as if the behaviour is hard-coded into your brain, so I'm not surprised that it takes a lot of work to be successful at changing your lifestyle. Even if you don't do everything perfectly in the beginning, I'm sure there are many little things that you have started to change for the better, like starting to drink more water, or adding more exercise, or eating healthy sometimes. Even just changing one of these things at a time helps.

I'll admit that I haven't been very successful yet myself, and I have 100+ lbs to lose, but over the past half year I've done a lot of thinking about it. I've managed to eat better to a certain extent, but I'm still far from getting everything right. But I'm not giving up, because even the small changes that I have been able to make are a good start.
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Old 07-22-2004, 11:03 PM   #3  
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Default hey there


hi randi,

i read your post and my heart went out to you. we all have difficult times but i don't think you deserve to be fat. it's hard no doubt about it. but not impossible or unattainable. weight loss doesn't have to be quick, it's realy a process.
i noticed that you post in the atkins thread and i bet (sorry if i'm wrong here) but that is surely not the first diet you've been on and couldn't carry through. but that doesn't mean it has to be the end. i'm not sure i know what to say because i don't know what you've tried. it's a matter of finding what works for you and there is something, you'll see.
maybe the atkins diet diet is too restrictive for you. i know it would be for me. it may work wonders for some but not all.
has there ever been a time in your life whn something was difficult but you got through the other side? that's a good feeling, it's uplifting. maybe you're not ready right now but you can do this.
what can i or anybody do to help? i have some ideas and i'm sure others have also. let us know if you want some.
what exactly do you do that makes you think that you are messing up? it's true that everybody messes up sometimes but it's not true that you are the only one doing it everday.

anyways i don't want to preach but let me know, you're not alone.
gen
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Old 07-23-2004, 12:13 AM   #4  
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Don't you dare give up Randi! I didnt sit next to that smelly italian shirt logo (disclaimer: no offense to our sisters of Italian american decent) all the way from the mainland to Venice fer nothin by God! I do it too....believe me....all you need is to get on a roll....do something or go somewhere for just one day where ya cant get at the bad stuff....or listen, Im gonna send you my phone number- if you feel like youre losin it-call me....and if you feel like your losin to 20 minutes later...call me again! You can do this-and it will only get easier once you get the hang of it!--fight girl fight!
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Old 07-23-2004, 08:28 AM   #5  
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Cinnymamma: Oh boy do we all know how you are feeling! I sware sometimes that if it wasn't for fealings of failure we would never know what success feels like. We know what bad feels like and we forget what good feels like......does that make sense?
I have been on this WOE for almost a year now and I haven't exactly been the most successful person but is has been a good fit for me. I have been more successful on this WOE than on any other. So for me I call that success. I may not have lost a whole person but I have made myself feel better and look better. I still have so much to work on and most times I don't want to put out the effort. But we do.........

If this WOE isn't working for you then like gen said try something else. You need to decide which plan is right for YOU.

You can do anything you REALLY set your mind to.....I know you can.
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Old 07-23-2004, 08:44 AM   #6  
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I'm sorry you're feeling down Randi. Believe me, I know where you're coming from. Yup, you're probably thinking "but you've LOST that weight". Yup, I have. I think that came off TOO easily. I didn't have to work at it. What am I having to work at? KEEPING it off. THAT is the hard part to me right now. I'm SO very tempted to cheat constantly (and look at me lately!!! I HAVE been).
You're wrong. Nobody DESERVES to be fat. It's just the way our bodies were made. Not fair I agree!! If Atkins isn't working for you maybe it's too strict? Not all people can lose weight the same way. My sisters can't do Atkins but my mom and I can. I really wish you the best and hope you're feeling happy again soon.
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Old 07-23-2004, 09:52 AM   #7  
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Hi Randi.

Yes, it is so easy to tell ourselves just say no and we would be on our way to lose weight. Well it doesn’t work out that way. You can’t just tell yourself no. It is too damn hard. You know what has worked for me, replacing one bad habit with a better one, not particularly the best one at first, but a better one. Then stage by stage make it to a good habit. For example one of my bad habits was having large cappuccinos/mocha/espresso every morning, if not twice a day. Do you know how bad they are, full of sugar. Of course I had them in the morning and that was the start of craving for all day. I don’t know about you, but I certainly didn’t have the will power to just say no. I would easily give in and had what I was craving for. When I started Atkins and realized I couldn’t have it I made a packet with myself, if I wanted it then I would made it with LC milk/decaffe coffee/splenda and unsweetened cocoa. Just the fact that I knew I had alternative allowed me to say no when walking past the coffee shop. Also I make myself an 8 oz cup instead of 16 oz, once in a while. It works for me.

You know giving up is the easiest thing. Consider putting your emotion away and think logically. Also consider looking at weight loss as something you do for your health not being fat or thin. Being overweight has so many bad side effects on your health.

I whole heartedly agree with Jen. Don’t give up. Maybe Atkins is not for you. Maybe you would like to try something else. I hate to make this suggestion because in my eyes Atkins has been so easy. I tried WW and BFL before and failed at both. But I wanted to become healthy so I decided to try something else.

I see that in your signature you are giving yourself deadlines to reach a certain weight by certain date. I gave myself a deadline once and it didn’t work for me. I wanted to be in the 130s by 4th of July. When I didn’t get there I was disappointed at first. Well as of this morning I am still holding at 140 and truly I don’t care. Making it to 130s by 4th August would work for me too. Look at it this way if I had let it get to me 4th of July that I hadn’t made it to my goal I would still be at 141 or even heavier. But at least now I am only 0.2 away from 130s. That is the way I like to look at it.

I think one of the reasons I failed at BFL was that the program required too much exercise too early, or at least I felt like that. I really couldn’t keep up with 3 days of week doing weight training for one hour. The cardio was okay, but weights, I couldn’t handle. So after two weeks I gave up the whole program. But with Atkins I eased into exercise. The first few weeks I just walked only 1 mile at a time, and my purpose wasn’t even walking. I would walk to the grocery store and pick up what I wanted for just couple of days, so that I could carry it back. Every couple of days I walked 10 minutes there and 10 minutes back. That was my exercise. Then I started walking to work which is a mile and half away. It took me half an hour. Then I added more walks, then started running, then started biking. You have to start small if you want to be successful. Don’t tell yourself that you have to walk 3 miles today. Just start by ½ mile. Another ½ mile tomorrow and you can log 1 mile. Then you will get excited and want to do more.

All I can say is DO NOT GIVE UP. Try to find a way, a way that works for you. And I assure you, you’ll be successful but more importantly you’ll be healthy.
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Old 07-23-2004, 03:33 PM   #8  
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No No No No No You Don't, You are NOT destin to be fat. And its not that simple to say no. Its easy to walk away from habbits but food you just can't walk away.

Listen, you better not quit on me now, us now, your family now, YOU !!!!

Hon, you so deserve to be healthy...Please don't look at it as being skinny, look at it as being healthy. If you lose 5 lbs a year SO WHAT !!!! thats 5 lbs healthier your heart will be.

Don't EVER give up....fight w/all your might. We have weeks and months we screw up but hey...keep trying.

I feel so bad for you I could cry and I mean that b/c I'm having a hard time too.

We love you so don't stop now okay !!!!

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Old 07-30-2004, 02:10 AM   #9  
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Aww, I feel like such a total nerd. I didn't mean to have a pity party (I know you guys weren't pitying me ) I guess I just felt like venting. Thanks a bunch for everything. I guess I just needed to hear, even though I already know it, that nobody has done this without starting over. Anyways, going to make some more changes around here. The point is to get back up and start over right. Thanks again guys,
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Old 07-30-2004, 02:32 AM   #10  
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I also wanted to add that I do think this is the program for me. I have tried others and nothing has been as "nice" as Atkins. I guess that is part of the reason I beat myself up so much about doing it.

Like I said, life is not an "all or nothing" type of thing and I shouldn't feel that way towards something this life changing either. I decided to get rid of the date thing too. It isn't important when I reach goal, it's just important that I get there.
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Old 07-30-2004, 03:35 AM   #11  
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Yay!!!!! Glad you're feeling better. We all need to vent once in awhile! Yup, I feel the need to vent quite often. Mainly cuz I'm in this "I just don't get it" stage. Seems we're all going through it. We just have to plug away. What's the saying "we didn't get this way overnight"? So it'll take us awhile to get to where we can "just say no" . Keep up the good work and keep on trying
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:41 AM   #12  
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You said it Brenda !!!
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Old 07-31-2004, 03:29 PM   #13  
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Alright, Randi!! Glad you are feeling better and ready to try again. I can't count the number of times I've messed up and started over. The important thing is to keep trying, and you'll make progress.
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