Okay - Let's Really Get Creative...once Upon A Time....
 

Better, and more fun than word association - the never ending tale!

A story begins - we each add a sentence or two or a couple of paragraphs....and we're off and running....let's see how creative we really are....I'll start...no need to copy/cut and paste...just continue on next "reply".

Here we go!

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Once upon a time there was a very slim and sexy lady called Carborina....despite her curves and lovely body alas she was alone and drowned her loneliness and sorrows in some low carb beer and a single malt scotch now and again.

One evening, while sitting at the local watering hole she was approached by.....


(your turn)

Froufy:)

Dr. Phil who asked her to join him for his "Dont hate because Im Beautiful " show .
Corborina agreed to join the group but had one condition .

That he would set her up on a date with

Richard simmons. Because, well, he's gay and high carb--it would never work.

Dr. Phil could not agree to her condition but approached her with a second offer....

He could hook her up with a Tony Little look alike and years supply of...

pure liquid splenda, imported directly from...

Portland, Oregon and various Canadian providences....areas known for their low-carb enthusiasts. But the slim and sexy Carborina said "NO!" It wasn't Splenda she yearned for, it was......

.....caffine. Carborina was horribly addicted to caffine and was always looking for a low carb way to get her next fix. It was finally getting to the point where she didn't care about the carb count, and she knew this was dangerous.
Not being able to hide her secret any longer she broke down and told her entire story to Dr. Phil who suggested....

someone that didn't look as good as her. That way in the morning she could...

roll over and be scared out of bed by the sight of who was lying next to her. Her adrenaline would be pumping so hard that caffeine would no longer be a necessity.

Carborina thought this over and decided....

... that it wasn't such a horrible idea. After all, it had been quite some time since a man had sent her heart to racing... even if it was going to be in the negative way. So, Carborina set out in search of an ugly man.........

Now, ugly men aren't hard to find, but Carborina wanted a terribly ugly man. One that would really do the job. So, she wasn't satisfied until she found...

Carl, the owner of Carbohydrate World, the nutrition store that offered every food item in the world.. double the carbs. From the moment she saw him, Carborina knew....

she'd found her man. He was a mass unevenly colored flesh accented with an array of pocks, scars, pimples, and a certain spot near his neck that looked a little oozey.

Carborina took a deep breath...

walked up to him and said, "will you marry me". He looked so shocked he fainted. And because of his.......

inability to speak his mind, mumbled and stuttered out a yes. Turning redder and more sweaty he asked..

... Carborina if she would reach into his pocket and grab his white-flour filled chocolate bar, so he could regain his strength. By the feeling this created in her gut, Carborina knew she had chosen the right man. Seeing this guy beside her every morning would indeed...

cause adverse reactions, and cause the buzz (that coffee gives her) to immediately happen upon awakening and realizing who she was sleeping next to. So she smiled at him and said...

"Of course, Carl. You are the answer to all of my prayers, so your wish is my comm......WAIT A MINUTE! Who is that gorgeous hunk restocking the double sugar/double fudge brownie endcap?" Were her eyes deceiving her? Could it possibly be that the man standing just a few carbohydrate-laden aisles away was actually her......

.... brother's best friend? The hottie hunk she remembered from high school? Oh boy did she ever want to make a good second impression. Standing up and leaving Carl the Carbohydrate King to lay on the ground in a sweating (and slightly oozy) pile she approached the endcap, ran a hand through her hair and said...

nothing! Her mouth was moving, but no words were coming out. Horror! Carborina just stood there frozen - unable to speak or move. He grinned down at her and...

said "If your looking for the fat free triple cream stuffed double chocolate snake cakes they're in isle 3." She gasped and...

looked at the magazine rack directly behind the rippling pecs pointing to aisle 3. There, on the rack, was Dr. Phil's face staring at her from the cover of the Daily Star. Blazoned across the bottom of the cover was the unbelievable headline, "Dr. Phil.....

tells all..yes it turns out Dr. Phil was a sham - a snake oil selling fraud - his home made degree was from the University of Timbuktu and his Ph.d....well let's just say the printing press in his basement sure came in handy.

Carborina was so shocked to see this news as Dr. Phil was her idol - forgetting all else (including the gorgeous hunk and Carl the oozing pile of carbs) she ran into the street with tears streaming down her beautiful face......her eyes were so tear filled that she did not see the.....

truth that lay before her....she decided to fix this wacky mess she had made for herself. But how???? She had now found her sexy soulmate and she had also found her oozy carb laden man was a human indeed and though ugly worth her respect.....

If she could only find Carl something meaningful to do with his life and take his mind off of her.....

YES an idea...the Wack Pack!!!! She contacted Howard Stern immediatly to see if she could get Carl a spot in Howard Stern's wack pack and he would be as famous as Stuttering John and High Pitch Eric!!! All those public appearances would keep him busy and famous! When Howard accepted her offer she ran home to tell Carl. He was so.......

SHOCKED. Someone... No, Howard "Freaking" Stern, wanted him to be on his show??? Could this be possible? Carl, the oozing, blubbering and otherwise disgusting carb-ladden man -- famous??? It just didn't seem feasible. Carl always had the secret desire to be a rock star, and this was close. Carl couldn't believe his luck. Jumping up and down, causing near earthquake-like vibrations, he looked at Carborina and said...

"Carby, baby, you're the greatest! Do you think they'll also do a show about active polygamists with fabulous pecs, because if they do, Bruno the stock guy would be perfect!"

Carborina, at first startled by this revelation, slowly broke into a smile. Even though she realized that her carbo-laden store owner with a face not even a mother could love AND her multiply-married but gorgeous pec-man were soon to be gone forever, she was slowly devising a plan for her own happiness. And that plan would begin with........

with buying her own low carb store & resturaunt so she could spread the word of Dr. Atkins, be able to support herself and be on her own. After all these revelations she thought, " I am gonna kick this looser guy to the curb!". The first thing she did was.......

... pick up a bag of triple-caffine coffee from the shelf on her right. She may be getting her life in order, Carbornia though, but she wasn't going to be doing it without caffine. She laid the money for the coffee on the counter and walked out of the carbohydrate-laden store leaving the bouncing Carl and the bulging Bruno in the dust that was beginning to fall from the ceiling of the store (due primarily to all of Carl's jumping).
Upon arriving home, Carborina brewed up a pot of the triple caffine coffee and made a phone call to..

Her best friend Lenda. Lenda was a sweet gal. and had known Carborina for years, through thick and thin. She had helped Carby achieve the body she now had. Lenda herself was known for her low-carb culinary creations. And, her favorite color was yellow.

Carborina asked Lenda....

how she thought she should get the store going. Lenda was splendidly surprised to hear that someone would have the guts to openly admit that Atkins was the way to eat. So she volunteered to pitch in and help get the store going. The first thing they both did was....

buy some tiaras. Carborina and Lenda both believed very strongly that they were princesses and that all the women who would be visiting their store would be princesses, too. Best to have a good supply on hand. ;)

After the princess-wear had been purchased, the pair got to work on...

... ordering all of the supplies for the Ultra Low-Carb Paradise store. The process went fairly quickly as everyone was ultra-eager for a low-carb establishment such as theirs to come into existence. In fact, in the last election the President had been elected by a huge margin and it was thought his pro-Atkins platform had been his ticket into the White House.
After the store items were all efficiently ordered, Carborina and Lenda headed to the day spa for their royal treatment. Both girls started with a mud mask and it wasn't long after the mud had been applied that another woman (who smelled slightly of lemon chiffon mixed with cinnamon) was shown into the room. As the technician began applying a mud mask to this new woman (who smelled slightly odd), the woman began to rant and rave about...

the taxi driver that cut her off on the way over here making her bite into the lemon filled powered doughnut a disaster. Lenda could not keep her giggles under control, the more this women ranted and raved the harder she would laugh. The women got up being very irritated with this, peeled the cucumbers off her eyes and...

jumped up, shouting "Girlfriends, I'm about to stick these cucumbers where the sun don't shine!" Carborina and Lenda stood gaping at the spectacle before them. There, standing only a sweet Italian sausages length away from them, mud dripping from her chin, cucumber seeds glistening on her cheeks, stood the CEO of Harpo Productions, Oprah herself. The cucumber seeds could have been the seeds of inspiration themselves, because Lenda and Carborina turned and looked at each other, both realizing what this moment meant for them and their plans. They turned to Oprah and said....

"Can we be on your show to talk about our new Atkins store?" Oprah, surprised, looked at them and said "What in the world is so great about Atkins. I heard that was bad for you." Carborina and Lenda looked at each other and grinned. They then ushered Oprah to sit down, relax and listen to what they had to say. By the time they were done Oprah had a gleam in her eye and a plan. She decided that she herself would try Atkins so that....

she could become slim and gorgeous enuf to have the guts to pull off a Janet Jackson bares all stunt at next year's superbowl....how exciting would that be?

Oprah was just filled with ideas and while the ladies chatted they did not notice the other mud slathered face next to them - listening carefully and speaking discreetly into her palm sized tape recorder....why who could that be??? Well it was none other than...

It wasn't a her it was a HIM!! It was Dr. Phil in disguise and he was riding on Oprah's coat tails again, trying to listen to the ladies conversation. Oprah descretely recognised her stalker and told the ladies she would meet them at a top secret location to discuss their further plans and her plans to financially back the girls if they could help her loose 20 pounds in 1 month. She whispered the location in Carby's ear she said......

When the swallow flies north at midnight, meet me at the intersection of East West Street, and West North Boulevard. There I will reveal my diabolical plan to take over the world... I will from this moment on be known as "Brain" while you, my dearies, will be known as Pinky and Tall Man.

But seriously, after they all got over their good laugh, they decided to meet at Oprah's favorite coffee shop.

There, Oprah told them...