walked up to him and said, "will you marry me". He looked so shocked he fainted. And because of his.......

inability to speak his mind, mumbled and stuttered out a yes. Turning redder and more sweaty he asked..

... Carborina if she would reach into his pocket and grab his white-flour filled chocolate bar, so he could regain his strength. By the feeling this created in her gut, Carborina knew she had chosen the right man. Seeing this guy beside her every morning would indeed...

cause adverse reactions, and cause the buzz (that coffee gives her) to immediately happen upon awakening and realizing who she was sleeping next to. So she smiled at him and said...

"Of course, Carl. You are the answer to all of my prayers, so your wish is my comm......WAIT A MINUTE! Who is that gorgeous hunk restocking the double sugar/double fudge brownie endcap?" Were her eyes deceiving her? Could it possibly be that the man standing just a few carbohydrate-laden aisles away was actually her......

.... brother's best friend? The hottie hunk she remembered from high school? Oh boy did she ever want to make a good second impression. Standing up and leaving Carl the Carbohydrate King to lay on the ground in a sweating (and slightly oozy) pile she approached the endcap, ran a hand through her hair and said...

nothing! Her mouth was moving, but no words were coming out. Horror! Carborina just stood there frozen - unable to speak or move. He grinned down at her and...

said "If your looking for the fat free triple cream stuffed double chocolate snake cakes they're in isle 3." She gasped and...

looked at the magazine rack directly behind the rippling pecs pointing to aisle 3. There, on the rack, was Dr. Phil's face staring at her from the cover of the Daily Star. Blazoned across the bottom of the cover was the unbelievable headline, "Dr. Phil.....

tells all..yes it turns out Dr. Phil was a sham - a snake oil selling fraud - his home made degree was from the University of Timbuktu and his Ph.d....well let's just say the printing press in his basement sure came in handy.

Carborina was so shocked to see this news as Dr. Phil was her idol - forgetting all else (including the gorgeous hunk and Carl the oozing pile of carbs) she ran into the street with tears streaming down her beautiful face......her eyes were so tear filled that she did not see the.....

truth that lay before her....she decided to fix this wacky mess she had made for herself. But how???? She had now found her sexy soulmate and she had also found her oozy carb laden man was a human indeed and though ugly worth her respect.....

If she could only find Carl something meaningful to do with his life and take his mind off of her.....

YES an idea...the Wack Pack!!!! She contacted Howard Stern immediatly to see if she could get Carl a spot in Howard Stern's wack pack and he would be as famous as Stuttering John and High Pitch Eric!!! All those public appearances would keep him busy and famous! When Howard accepted her offer she ran home to tell Carl. He was so.......

SHOCKED. Someone... No, Howard "Freaking" Stern, wanted him to be on his show??? Could this be possible? Carl, the oozing, blubbering and otherwise disgusting carb-ladden man -- famous??? It just didn't seem feasible. Carl always had the secret desire to be a rock star, and this was close. Carl couldn't believe his luck. Jumping up and down, causing near earthquake-like vibrations, he looked at Carborina and said...

"Carby, baby, you're the greatest! Do you think they'll also do a show about active polygamists with fabulous pecs, because if they do, Bruno the stock guy would be perfect!"

Carborina, at first startled by this revelation, slowly broke into a smile. Even though she realized that her carbo-laden store owner with a face not even a mother could love AND her multiply-married but gorgeous pec-man were soon to be gone forever, she was slowly devising a plan for her own happiness. And that plan would begin with........

with buying her own low carb store & resturaunt so she could spread the word of Dr. Atkins, be able to support herself and be on her own. After all these revelations she thought, " I am gonna kick this looser guy to the curb!". The first thing she did was.......

... pick up a bag of triple-caffine coffee from the shelf on her right. She may be getting her life in order, Carbornia though, but she wasn't going to be doing it without caffine. She laid the money for the coffee on the counter and walked out of the carbohydrate-laden store leaving the bouncing Carl and the bulging Bruno in the dust that was beginning to fall from the ceiling of the store (due primarily to all of Carl's jumping).
Upon arriving home, Carborina brewed up a pot of the triple caffine coffee and made a phone call to..