Hello my fellow low carb dieters!!! I havent’t really posted anything lately..not because I was too busy but because I’ve been feeling down lately and I lost the little self confidence I had.
It all began about 2 ½ weeks ago. A couple of my friends and I went clubbing to celebrate a friends 20th birthday. Well when we got there one of my good friend decided to leave the group and to go sit down next to this security guard. Me and my other good friend decided to periodically go to her every 10 or 15 mins to check if she was alright because we had been pre-drinking and she fell the moment we got in the club (the drinking age is 19 in Ontario…lol no underage drinking). Probably like 2 hrs later I couldn’t find her and a couple of my other friends so I felt alone and I decided to go and sit next to the security guard where my friend was sitting. Me and the security guard started talking (I’m not sure who initiated the conversation). It ended with me getting his number.
The next morning after waking up from a hangover me and my friend (the one that fell..I had slept over her house) were recapping what had happened a couple of hours ago. She told me about what happened with the security guard and how they exchanged numbers. On my way home from her house I deleted his number from my phone because I realized that he was not into me. Mainly because we did not switch numbers. I only had his number.
When I got home she called me and I told her that I deleted his number from my phone. She was basically telling me that he does like me and that he was going to call and I said that he wasn’t because how can he call if he doesn’t have my number. I kept telling her that he liked her and not me because he asked for her number and not mine. She then told me that in the club after I left he told her that he had gotten my number (which I found out later that she lied to me).
The next day which was a Sunday at around 11pm she calls me and tells me that he called her at 6pm (she lives alone but her mom comes on the weekend). I was shocked that she was telling me so late because we are really close. She decided to tell our other friend instead. This hurt because usually she tells me everything the second after it happens…not a couple hours later.
Monday me and a couple of my friends meet every Monday and have lunch together because we all have the same break time. While at lunch the security guard topic came up and she was talking about it and I felt awkward because half the stuff she was saying she did not tell me when we had the conversation the night before (like how he was going to come by her house on Thursday). Everyone knew that I had liked him and he called her so I felt embarrassed and awkward around the situation. After school while I was going home she asked me if I was alright with everything and I lied and told her that I was and that I would get over him because I get over people easily (I wasn’t okay with it..I felt awkward and the reason I said that was because I don’t like telling people what to do.). The moment I said bye to her all I wanted to do was to cry. I didn’t until I got home.
It took me a while but I got over him. From the first day that he called her, he’s been calling her daily. For the long weekend we went back to the same club. I usually have a fun time when we go out but this time I couldn’t…no matter how drunk I was I just couldn’t. I broke down in the club. I went to an isolated area and I just started to cry. I was over him but the whole situation in itself made me loose my self confidence. I felt rejected. I felt alone and I felt betrayed. I had no one to blame but myself. At one point in the club she asked me to go with her to look for the security guard and I told her no because it was awkward.
My friend was picking me up from her house after we went clubbing that night. When I got back to her house she asked me what’s wrong because she saw that I was miserable at the club. I told her I was okay. She asked if it had to do with the security guard and I was like a little. She then was like why.. he doesn’t even remember who you are. When she said that I felt so furious. It was like adding salt to an open wound. The next morning I told her everything and how the whole situation made me hate myself. I also found out that she lied about several things. The thing that hurt the most is that she kept pumping it up that he liked me because. She had told me some stuff the week before that he said and she was now telling me that she said those things because she knew how I felt about him.
Right now he calls her everyday. And when he calls she’s like a kid in a candy store. She says she’s just using him as a fling to get over her previous relationship but I would beg to defer. I keep thinking if they get serious it would be the most awkwardest (not a word) situation ever. Sometimes I think I'm just being selfish.
Deep down I thought that she wouldn’t do anything with him because she knew how I felt about him. But she did and it makes the situation even worse. When I feel sad I tend to eat things that I’m not suppose and he isn’t worth me falling off the wagon but its hard and I sorta don’t know how to get over this. I feel alone like I can’t talk to anyone because I feel as if my rock (the person that I confide in) is being thrown at me. I was pretty much depressed 95% of my high school years and I really don't want to go back.
Well I know this is a well worn statement, but there are many other fish in the sea. I know you are placed in a very ackward situation with likeing this guy and then having her flaunt it in your face. I find that he probly picks up many girls there and your friend is one of many, she is the flavor of the moment. Until the next gal comes along, who is just a bit bubblier and a bit more well endowed. and a little freer with her personal favors. and with what he does that will not be too long,
What bothers me is that she lied to you in the first place, stating that he had your number and that he was interested. I can understand that you have anger at her for holding things back from you but she was obviously afraid that you would get upset. which you did.
if she is a true friend then please, friends make mistakes and right now she is thinking with her heart not her head. just ask her to please just tone it down around you on how much she likes this guy, until you can get over the fact that she is with him. and also remind her that she did tell you that he liked you not her. so how should you feel, she let your hopes get up and then stomped them out. (please do this in private, this is between the both of you not any of the other friends)
On the last hand if she and he are well matched things may not have been good between the two of you. people click for a reason, they have clicked, and trust me when i say there will be some one special out there just for you, and they will not even look at your friends because they see only you!!
Ohhhh there you go Breathe Me...I've missed you and you have definately been in my thoughts! Wow! Sounds like you've been having a bit of drama in your life! Hey?
Here's my take:
Your friend may have just been trying to spare your feelings (knowing you liked the sec. guard) and lied. That's not right, but she may have had no malice in her heart...she liked him...she went for it. That's just how young girls do...and have always done things.
This "guy" is a SECURITY GUARD for cryin out loud! Security Guard = NO FUTURE! You are an intelligent young woman about to go places in your life. You know this. I really don't think it was this "Security" guy per say...I think was hurt you the most is the "rejection" and having a dude seemingly "pick someone else over you"...that feeling of not being "good enough". Don't worry baby...we all (in some way) experience that. It does s*ck big time! The thing is...it happens to skinny chicks too...short...tall...fat...lazy eye'd woman...bald headed ones...you get my drift!
Girlfriend...I've been busting my hump for over a month with no move in the damn scale! Wanna talk about hurt and frustration??? Seriously, you were doing so good...you are soo beautiful (truthfully, not tryin to make ya feel better by lying to ya..don't believe in that)...intelligent (make me proud), DO YOU!!!!!!! Common...look at it this way..."He wasn't good enough for me"..."I want more"..."I deserve more"! Don't hate on your friend...chicks before d*cks! From what you say...I really think she does care for you...that's probably why she lied...to spare your feelings. If she was a total beyyyoooch...she would tried to rub it in your face!
Glad to see you again...feel free to PM me if you need support. Your not alone girl...so cry your last cry and get up and don't look back! Joyce
Yes I suppose it was the whole “rejection” part that got me down. It’s getting easier but it’s still sort of hard to get over the whole situation quickly because she is one of my best friends and she tells me everything about him. I realized he shouldn’t be the cause of me falling of the diet wagon.
“I refuse to give up control for convenience” (not sure who said that but it makes me feel a lot better)
Glad to see ya back girly! I was getting worried aboutcha! Yeah...it's gonna take some time...I understand it must be hard since she's so close to you. BUT...if I were going to continue being friends with her...I'd be honest (just as you would want her to) and just tell her that you don't wan't to hear about her new Security Guard boyfriend! I really don't see the need for such a dude unless someone's trying to break into your house or something! Cheer up sweetie...I speak from experience when I tell ya, "time heals all wounds"...try to stay focused on YOU...summer's right around the corner which means fun, sun and half naked hot guys running around the beach! Joyce
Glad to see ya back girly! I was getting worried aboutcha! Yeah...it's gonna take some time...I understand it must be hard since she's so close to you. BUT...if I were going to continue being friends with her...I'd be honest (just as you would want her to) and just tell her that you don't wan't to hear about her new Security Guard boyfriend! I really don't see the need for such a dude unless someone's trying to break into your house or something! Cheer up sweetie...I speak from experience when I tell ya, "time heals all wounds"...try to stay focused on YOU...summer's right around the corner which means fun, sun and half naked hot guys running around the beach! Joyce
your post made my day...lol
lol...I live in toronto Ont (Canada)..the nearest beach is a couple of hrs away..and its really polluted...lol..but I might be going to Jamaica (crosses my fingers)..
MMM jamiaca make sure you go off the beaten path there It is the best way to actually see the island. My friend just came back from there and had the best time better than her friends that sayed on the routine travel routes/ get a book and start reading about the place that wasy you can be up on all the terms. (and yes it will enhanse your trip)
glas to see you put that man behind you (mostly) dust off and get things on the right path., you do not need too many distractions at this time/. get to jamaica and enjoy your self.
This past weekend me and her sat down and we talked about the whole situation for like 8 hrs. We laid it all on the table and right now I feel better and I'm actually laughing at the whole thing.
I was born in Jamaica. Came here when I was about 3..I've been going back yearly up to 8 years ago..so the last time I was there I was 11...So I'm excited to go..even if its just for a week!!!
My dad was just in Jamaica in January. He and his friend went and stayed with a local near a town called Port Maria (I think?). They never set foot on the resorts, and my father's outlook on life has completely changed as a result.
He, his friend and the gentleman they stayed with have started a company called "One Block at a Time", dedicated to helping the impoverished locals in the area to help learn a trade. Employment around there is terrible, I guess...and people live in shacks made of scrap-metal. They're still in the planning stages (this did happen in January), but he's very serious! He's decided he can't help other people until he's out of debt...so he and my mother are preparing our home for sale, and they're planning on moving into the basement of their small restaurant to make it happen.
AZ: What an inspriration your parents are! Now I know where you get your drive and determination. I'm just blown away. On the spoiled flip side...I wanna go on vacation.
Thanks BreathMe! Big difference from that bloated pic of me standing in front of a VOLCANO in Dec.! Make no mistake...I've been doing alot of cardio (prob. 4-6 days/week and weights about 1-2 days per week, but I'm going to up that soon!) It can be done! You are young so you will see better results faster. You will get out what you put in! A wise person told me this...and it is one of the truest statements I've ever heard! I'm in total shock because I still feel young! But I'm not (41 in April). And my body reminds me of this fact, as I can't lose the weight or eat as much as I did when I was your age. So you hear me...YOU HAVE AN ADVANTAGE GIRLY...YOUTH!!! Take advantage of that and keep applying yourself as much as you can. Don't let anything or anyone sidetrack you from this. Can't wait to see your after pics! I'm sure you will put us all to shame!
I'm with you SIC on that slightly selfish tip...when I think Jamaica...I think PARTYYYYY TIME!!!!! BTW, I got married in Jamaica and flew almost 80 people there for my wedding! It was sooooo beautiful and cheap! I had my entire bridal floral arrangement made from fresh island flowers (including my head piece) and bouquets...oooohh...it was so gorgeous! I wore a formal wedding gown (w/white satin payless shoes) and the idiot wore a tux! We had a photographer follow us on the beach in our "formal" wear taking pics and shooting video. Our wedding reception took place at one of the resorts formal dining rooms (which was closed down for 3 hours for us). Two days later, we took a limo about 2 hours away in Ochos Rios and honeymooned! All our guests got to stay at the resort for as long as they wanted and everyone saved a bundle on the group discount we got! I would never marry in the States after such a beautiful and cheap wedding in Jamaica! Only wish the marriage could have been that great!
Scared of depression
