Just waiting to die...what happened?
I was very heavy most of my life. In 1991, I adopted a child. In 1995, I decided I needed to lose weight...be healthy for him. In 7 months I went from 201 lbs to 125.
Like most everyone I know, after they lose weight, they turn into a different person. I pretty much told my husband I didn't like him anymore. Off I went with this new self.
It's been 20 years since I lost the weight. 15 of those years were great, and I managed to keep every pound off without even thinking about it.
March 2010 came, I don't know what happened. It's like someone had a voodoo doll of me. I was with a man for 10 years. I found out he had been cheating on me for 9 of those years with a girl (who was 20 years younger than him), and she worked for me.
I owned a fast paced food service business. All I did was work 6-7 days a week. I knew my mom's health was failing, so I decided to sell it and move her in with me and take care of her. I found a buyer for my business and without going into HOW, let's just say... I ended up with kidney stones and while I was in the hospital, the buyer stole my business, locked me out, and ripped me off for $125,000. And there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing.
I'm still in 2010 and it's getting worse. Now I am bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider on the leg. This is a new God Awful Experience. I can barely walk. Now the weight gaining curse is beginning.
But wait...there is more. I move my mom in with me. I give her my master bedroom. I make it look just like her little apartment. She is so excited when I show it to her. Mom gets to spend one day in it and I had to take her to the hospital. She never came back to enjoy that room again. She passed away. I am in such shock.
The morning after her funeral, I walk out in my yard to get some air. I went to kick a ball to my dogs. Lost my balance, fell backward down the hill, hyperextended my elbow (bent it backward and snapped it), broke my forearm and wrist.
Now I am sitting in my house Christmas Eve 2010. My mom is dead, my business is gone, my arm is in a cast up to my shoulder, mom's furniture is all around me because I can't deal with her things with one arm, my leg is still a train wreck from the spider bite, I am about to lose my home to foreclosure, I have no food in the house, no Christmas decorations because I sold them all to keep utilities on, and just too much more to list.
This black cloud doesn't stop there. It actually continued full speed ahead till mid-2014. If I could type it all, you would think I was making it up. It is so unbelievable. I guess I was fighting at every corner I turned since 2010, so I didn't have time to think about everything that happened and get depressed. It wasn't until after the dust settled last year, I started thinking about what all... and depression set in.
For the last year, I feel like I am just sitting around waiting to die. I quit fighting the so-called bad luck. I got really tired. I don't even look or act like the old me. Last month I started talking to myself about getting control of my life again. I feel the first step to make me feel better is getting the weight back off. All I do anymore is hide in the house. I don't do anything at all. I am 56 years old and I feel like if I get this weight off now, I will have a chance of having some happy years to enjoy life. I did it once... I'm going to try to do it again.
This is DAY 1
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I don't know what to say, but know that I read this and I am so happy that you are on your way to finding happiness again. You deserve ever bit of it.
