Ugh, I hate this...I used to get this all the time when I was a kid. It was also magnified because I was into acting and I would have agents say things like "you have such a pretty face, you'd do so much better if you lost weight" or "there are only so many parts for fat kids". I think a comment like this hurts just as much as someone flat out saying "you're fat" because that's all I remember hearing.

Oh, and what about the one that makes us all feel weirdly ashamed?

"How many months along are you?"

My current answer for that one (since I've now gotten it THREE times) is "Not pregnant, just fat."

NyxWriter, it doesn't matter how much weight I lose I still get asked if I'm pregnant. I don't understand how people have the nerve to say it!! I also say "Not pregnant, just fat"...and walk away.

I don't get it, I've been out with stick thin girls with pockmarked faces and scraggly hair, and the guys go crazy, but the chubby girl with the pretty eyes and glossy hair sits on the sidelines. :dizzy:

I've never gotten very many compliments on my face (literally, I can count the ones I've gotten on my right hand), but my mother has come out recently with such comments such as "You can see your chin now!" That falls under what sontaikle said about those "now" comments. At least our mothers, friends, acquaintances, mean well. :/

yea my own grandma said I had a pretty face too, and I always got patronised by everyone saying that I only needed to lose 'a little bit' of weight . ugh.

Yes, been there. I once sang at a local beauty pageant (not in the competition, but the entertainment). Someone comes up to me afterward and said I was amazing and if they could just get me into shape I should compete. Seriously. And they had to go and say this in front of other people. I was so embarrassed. Ugh.

Originally Posted by mrsmurphy:
I CANNOT stand when someone tells me that "you have such a pretty face." I have extended family members say at times, "Your face is so gorgeous, imagine how beautiful you would be 100 pounds lighter" or "your so pretty, you'd have soo much potential, if you were thin."

That is something I worry about for the future. I am married now and my husband married me at 293 pounds. He loves me for me and always has. I worry that when I lose a lot of weight, I am going to hate people. lol I worry that I am going to snap on someone if they give me a compliment that I normally wouldn't receive at 293 lbs.

I know how you feel. I met my current fiance, at my lowest weight (not that low, 175 at 5'8"), and i gained about 40 pounds with him. But the good part, is he barely noticed. The only change he noticed in me getting bigger, was my boobs getting bigger. >.< tells you his main focus...lol
but yeah. some people will be shallow. it sucks. but just shake your head, and hope one day they see how it is on the other side of fat. And be so thankful (i know i am :D ) that you have a loving husband, that WILL love you through whatever, and HAS. You're very lucky to have a loving and supportive husband!

Gah this annoys me so much. Its liderely an insult to the rest of my appearance. I still thought I was cute at my high weight, and I dressed nicely. It was like all that effort was for nothing, because I was still overweight(their point of view)

IDK...maybe in there own small way, the people saying this are trying to get the other person more motivated to live a healthier lifestyle....

Story of my life! Heard this from all my family and friends, and even including some people I don't know all that well: "You have SUCH a pretty face and a great personality, but if you lost weight ... [fill in the blank]."

Honestly, I prefer this comment to people who just think I could never look better and look at me with disdain for being overweight. The people who make the "pretty face" comment are trying to help and compliment you but it does affect the person it's told to kind of negatively.

Ugh, I hate that! "You're so pretty...for a heavy girl." Why can't we just be pretty? Don't let them get you down! You're beautiful just the way you are, and you'll be beautiful when you lose the weight you want. People seem to think that just because we're heavy we don't have feelings or they can just say whatever they want. It's awkward, but I try to just push aside what everyone else says and concentrate on how I feel.

Maybe I'm the oddity here but honestly, it never bothered me when people would tell me I had a pretty face if only I'd lose some weight.

In fact, when I gained even more weight people eventually stopped saying that, too. Ah well.

People!
 

Ugh, do not listen to them!! If you have a pretty face then you are beautiful, if you have a beautiful soul you are gorgeous. What does it matter to them whether or not you're fat? People like that get under my skin, even when I was only 165 lbs people used to tell me that, now I am 256 and I hear it occasionally. I get, aw is that your first? OR Aw congratulations! -strangers (As if I am pregnant or something) and I am like "hah, NO just fat". That really gets them to shut up lol. It really is upsetting because it reminds you of how people see you differently just because of your size. Keep your head up :D Visualizing myself at my goal makes me feel a bit better. :cool:

despite my weight (I'm at my highest ever now) but when I was a teen and early 20's I weighed about 220-250 and I never had prob;ems getting dates or boyfriends I was actually quite the player in my day.. but the thing that used to suck the most was when a guy would say " you know I'm not normally attracted to bigger girls but there's something so special about you and I don't normally think big girls are as beautiful as you"... It's like ummm gee thanks! ... not!

Originally Posted by mariamherrera:
despite my weight (I'm at my highest ever now) but when I was a teen and early 20's I weighed about 220-250 and I never had prob;ems getting dates or boyfriends I was actually quite the player in my day.. but the thing that used to suck the most was when a guy would say " you know I'm not normally attracted to bigger girls but there's something so special about you and I don't normally think big girls are as beautiful as you"... It's like ummm gee thanks! ... not!

I bet you are very confident! I love hearing about things like this, because I tend to assume that guys wouldn't be interested by default. An attractive bigger woman with a lot of confidence is often a catch, I've noticed.