Such a pretty face ...
 

I've heard this my whole life ... 'You have such a pretty face', 'you could be a model ... If you list some weight' ... I can't even begin to describe how mad this makes me! I mean, I always feel so stupid just standing there, like ... Well gee thanks, if only I wasn't so fat!
And saying that to someone alnost 100 lbs. overweight is just so hurtful because my self esteem is already pretty nonexistent, although no one jnows that, and this just makes it so much worse.
What are some comments that just p*** you right off? I will say it does give me a little fuel to keep going though ;) Will they still tell me I'm pretty when I'm at goal and they're not just pitying me? LOL!

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NOW!! DON'T LISTEN!! :(

I can't tell you how much I HATED that! Why is it only that thin people are beautiful everywhere?!

It's also one of the reasons why I cringe when people say "You're so beautiful now!"

now

That word now bugs the **** out of me when they add it. I think I was beautiful before I lost weight! I'm still the same person—I'm just smaller!

So true! So true. :hug: to both of you!

I don't really mind it :o I guess I'm the odd one out. Its not a secret that most people view fat as unattractive, KWIM? They aren't telling me any new, hurtful thing. Their comment is in line with the dominant paradigm, so to speak.

I've always seen 'you have a pretty face' as a) a real compliment; a pretty face is a good thing, regardless of whether the giver feels that it is at odds w/my figure, and b) a guarantee that when I finally do something about my weight, my final results will be lovely.

:hug:

Some people have no social tact. Unfortunately, it's the way life is. Goodness knows I said a lot of stupid things as a teen (hopefully I've learned a thing or two since then!). :o

I get that it upsets you... is there some sort of come back you'd be comfortable saying to them? Maybe to show how insensitive that comment is?

I was once told by my 70year old hispanic grandmother. that i had such a beautiful personality and face but that if I never lost weight I would never find someone to love and marry.

1. in some weird way she meant it with love
2. Today I have a fiance that ive been with for 3yrs and I found him when I was at my highest weight ever 255
3. He loves me either way and he thinks I am focusing on something that doesnt really matter... and honestly i think it took me this long to truly want to be healthy because of my grandmas comment i wanted to find someone who loved me no matter how much i weighed.
4. I allowed comments like this because i let myself beleive them... Yes. I didnt love me I didnt think I was pretty. but today I know I am beautiful inside and out no matter what. But I want to be thin and healthy and I dont want diabetes like grandparents or highblood pressure or any of the other conditions that go along with obesity.

Sont- exactly!! Now? Really? Ugh, some people!

And, yes, some people really need to learn tact! I wish I could say something more blunt, but unfortunately I usually just smile ... Something I need to work on ;)

I CANNOT stand when someone tells me that "you have such a pretty face." I have extended family members say at times, "Your face is so gorgeous, imagine how beautiful you would be 100 pounds lighter" or "your so pretty, you'd have soo much potential, if you were thin."

That is something I worry about for the future. I am married now and my husband married me at 293 pounds. He loves me for me and always has. I worry that when I lose a lot of weight, I am going to hate people. lol I worry that I am going to snap on someone if they give me a compliment that I normally wouldn't receive at 293 lbs.

My sis & I have heard the pretty face comment so many times we've started to jokingly refer to ourselves as butta bodies!

My own parents have told me this on many an occasion.....in addition to never being successful unless I lost weight, never having a boyfriend unless I lost weight.....UGH. Just terrible.

Ugh!!!
I feel I may snap too, once I lose the weight if someone comments and I take offense! Grrrr. We are all beautiful and those who love us as is are in our lives for a reason, and those who are unkind .... Well, to heck with them! ;)

ive heard that since i was like 5 and i didnt get big until i was 14-15. i think its cause for me anyway, i was always much taller than the other girls and thus looked bigger in proportion. my mom would talk to other moms and they'd tell her their kid was like 50 lbs while i was like 60lbs and mom would come home determined that i be one of the pretty girls too, but i was like 4 inches taller or more than them lol but it annoyed me when i was thin and fat, i cant make myself shorter then the other girls so i cant even fix that sorry mom lmao. i think alot of its jealousy too. alot of the ppl that said it to me that were thin were really not pretty face wise, not to be cruel, but the genetics just didnt bless them, so its their way of thinking well ill never have her face but because shes so fat im still winning, by putting you down they step up, its one less pretty person they have to compete with cause they are fat, at least in their minds

Not necessarily. Some people actually lose their pretty face after they've lost a lot of weight. Just something to keep in mind. ;)

This one guy I was interested in...told me.."I've always been attracted to BBW's". Who wants to hear that??

I dont think so - I think you will be too busy flaunting it in front of them to waste time snapping at them :D

Ugh, I hate this...I used to get this all the time when I was a kid. It was also magnified because I was into acting and I would have agents say things like "you have such a pretty face, you'd do so much better if you lost weight" or "there are only so many parts for fat kids". I think a comment like this hurts just as much as someone flat out saying "you're fat" because that's all I remember hearing.

Oh, and what about the one that makes us all feel weirdly ashamed?

"How many months along are you?"

My current answer for that one (since I've now gotten it THREE times) is "Not pregnant, just fat."

NyxWriter, it doesn't matter how much weight I lose I still get asked if I'm pregnant. I don't understand how people have the nerve to say it!! I also say "Not pregnant, just fat"...and walk away.

I don't get it, I've been out with stick thin girls with pockmarked faces and scraggly hair, and the guys go crazy, but the chubby girl with the pretty eyes and glossy hair sits on the sidelines. :dizzy:

I've never gotten very many compliments on my face (literally, I can count the ones I've gotten on my right hand), but my mother has come out recently with such comments such as "You can see your chin now!" That falls under what sontaikle said about those "now" comments. At least our mothers, friends, acquaintances, mean well. :/

yea my own grandma said I had a pretty face too, and I always got patronised by everyone saying that I only needed to lose 'a little bit' of weight . ugh.

Yes, been there. I once sang at a local beauty pageant (not in the competition, but the entertainment). Someone comes up to me afterward and said I was amazing and if they could just get me into shape I should compete. Seriously. And they had to go and say this in front of other people. I was so embarrassed. Ugh.

I know how you feel. I met my current fiance, at my lowest weight (not that low, 175 at 5'8"), and i gained about 40 pounds with him. But the good part, is he barely noticed. The only change he noticed in me getting bigger, was my boobs getting bigger. >.< tells you his main focus...lol
but yeah. some people will be shallow. it sucks. but just shake your head, and hope one day they see how it is on the other side of fat. And be so thankful (i know i am :D ) that you have a loving husband, that WILL love you through whatever, and HAS. You're very lucky to have a loving and supportive husband!

Gah this annoys me so much. Its liderely an insult to the rest of my appearance. I still thought I was cute at my high weight, and I dressed nicely. It was like all that effort was for nothing, because I was still overweight(their point of view)

IDK...maybe in there own small way, the people saying this are trying to get the other person more motivated to live a healthier lifestyle....

Story of my life! Heard this from all my family and friends, and even including some people I don't know all that well: "You have SUCH a pretty face and a great personality, but if you lost weight ... [fill in the blank]."

Honestly, I prefer this comment to people who just think I could never look better and look at me with disdain for being overweight. The people who make the "pretty face" comment are trying to help and compliment you but it does affect the person it's told to kind of negatively.

Ugh, I hate that! "You're so pretty...for a heavy girl." Why can't we just be pretty? Don't let them get you down! You're beautiful just the way you are, and you'll be beautiful when you lose the weight you want. People seem to think that just because we're heavy we don't have feelings or they can just say whatever they want. It's awkward, but I try to just push aside what everyone else says and concentrate on how I feel.

Maybe I'm the oddity here but honestly, it never bothered me when people would tell me I had a pretty face if only I'd lose some weight.

In fact, when I gained even more weight people eventually stopped saying that, too. Ah well.

People!
 

Ugh, do not listen to them!! If you have a pretty face then you are beautiful, if you have a beautiful soul you are gorgeous. What does it matter to them whether or not you're fat? People like that get under my skin, even when I was only 165 lbs people used to tell me that, now I am 256 and I hear it occasionally. I get, aw is that your first? OR Aw congratulations! -strangers (As if I am pregnant or something) and I am like "hah, NO just fat". That really gets them to shut up lol. It really is upsetting because it reminds you of how people see you differently just because of your size. Keep your head up :D Visualizing myself at my goal makes me feel a bit better. :cool:

despite my weight (I'm at my highest ever now) but when I was a teen and early 20's I weighed about 220-250 and I never had prob;ems getting dates or boyfriends I was actually quite the player in my day.. but the thing that used to suck the most was when a guy would say " you know I'm not normally attracted to bigger girls but there's something so special about you and I don't normally think big girls are as beautiful as you"... It's like ummm gee thanks! ... not!

I bet you are very confident! I love hearing about things like this, because I tend to assume that guys wouldn't be interested by default. An attractive bigger woman with a lot of confidence is often a catch, I've noticed.

Probably the worst commect I've ever received was from my 3 year old. I know she didn't mean it in a hurtful way, but it stung nonetheless. A few days ago she said, "Mommy, you have a REALLY BIG BUTT!!!!!" Now I know toddlers are just being observant, but sheesh! That was so not cool. But it did give me motivation to stick with my plan, which is working so far.

I've always been a big girl too. I really, really want to lose this weight and look smokin' hot. Then I want to go to a high school reunion and shock people who have never, ever seen me thin. Personally, that will be SO FUN!!!!! :D

I used to be very confident! I don't have an issue being plus size and proud but I do have a big problem being where I'm at now over 300 lbs is just ridiculous! But I've learned the key to change is also acceptance I accept who and what I am right now and I am beautiful no matter what Size I am! But I feel better, healthier and ten times more confident when at a more reasonable size! every one should be confident every one is beautiful in their own way!;)