Hey, Ready! :) I think there are a few issues which cause me to breakdown:

• fatigue
• "I deserve it"
• Too much personal pressure

When I get exhausted I just don't care what I put into my body. I've worked really hard on breaking free of emotional eating (when I'm bored, angry, happy, excited, nervous, anxious, etc.), but fatigue is a big one I have to work on. Also, I have this gluttonous "I deserve it" attitude sometimes...like Friday I didn't need to have a blitz (similar to DQ's blizzards), but I thought, "you know what, I've lost 100 pounds and this isn't going to hurt anything and I deserve it because I've worked hard to get where I am now." Um, really? If I keep saying that then I'll deserve all the food in the world and I'll be right back up to 274. I've done that all along the way ("I've lost 25 pounds, I deserve it; I've lost 75, I deserve it"...it's just something I'm really going to have to work on!).

Also, the pressure I put on myself is sometimes too much for me to handle...sometimes I have to take a step back and reassess and calm myself down! :dizzy: And I'll take any tips ya got! Throw 'em my way, girl!

Day 40
 

WI: 174.2

Breakfast: Usual (361)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Meatloaf & Mashed Potatoes (250)
Snacks: Two FiberOne bars (280)
Dinner: Two turkey burgers on whole wheat buns w/ketchup & onions & 1/2 slice pepperjack cheese (575)

Calories: 1466
Exercise: OMG, I am soooo done with this yard project. We both had the day off today and worked in the yard from 8:00 a.m. until 6:05 p.m. I am sunburned, exhausted, and tired. I am not hopping on the treadmill or doing the JM 30 Day Shred today because I am pretty sure I got enough of a workout outside for 10 hours. Buh.

Day 41
 

WI: 173.2

Breakfast: Usual (361)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Butternut Squash Ravioli & baked cheetos (400)
Snacks: Yogurt w/kashi (97), Gum (5), Brussel sprouts (150), Twizzler (40), 2 Starburst pieces (40)
Dinner: Baked chicken with Laughing Cow wedges & broccoli, jell-o sugar free pudding snack (476)

Calories: 1569
Exercise: 20 minute walk around campus (in 95 degree weather...yuck!), 40:30 of wogging at 4.0 speed and 2.0 incline (I would start jogging when I physically got tired from walking...don't know why that worked, but it did!)

Oooooh...I like them numbers!;) Oh and no lean pockets? Woot!:dancer:

Day 42
 

Yep, Joy, no Lean Pockets! :)

WI: 173.8

Breakfast: Usual (361)
Lunch: Herb Roasted Chicken (Lean Cuisine) & baked cheetos (300)
Snacks: Yogurt w/kashi (97), Gum (15), Snap peas (120)
Dinner: 3 ground turkey tacos (500), Jello sugar free puddin' snack (60)

Calories: 1453
Exercise: 30 minute walk around campus

Tomorrow I need to bring my pedometer to work so I can see just how long my walks are distance-wise. I keep forgetting! It is gorgeous out here today...it was in the high 90s yesterday and Tuesday, and today it's breezy and in the 70s. Love it.

My walks allow me to clear my head and really just think a lot or not think at all depending on the day. It's so nice to go outside and just breathe. Sometimes I think about my body and how grateful I am that I have it. I think back to being 274 and I think about how much extra stress I put on my body. My feet. My knees. My lungs. My heart. My poor, little heart (which is actually very, very strong) was just pumping and pumping so hard because of all of the extra weight I was carrying. It makes me sad to think about that. That I didn't even pay attention to what I was really doing to my body. I have reminders, though. My knees hurt and creak so badly when I bend them or go up stairs. They actually grind together when they bend and it's loud enough for people to hear. But, it's a reminder to me of what I've been through and what I put my body through. I am just so grateful that it stuck around and continued working hard for me when I had given up on it.

Hey...if I can't have CASHEWS...that's the least you could do...yunno!:p Oh and btw, it's official...I finally posted in the goal thread...woot!:dancer:

AWESOME!! I am going to go read it now...I am so happy for you!! :carrot: You deserve it...you worked so hard!

Day 43
 

WI: 173.6

Breakfast: Usual (361)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Meatloaf/Mashed Potatoes & baked cheetos (380)
Snacks: Yogurt w/kashi (97), Gum (10), FiberOne bar (140), Cheese stick (80), Nummy White Russian :)
Dinner: Salmon w/veggies, 1/2 huge sweet potato (353)

Calories: 1633 (Whew, just fit into my 1650 range...I was really hoping to squeeze in a white russian, and I did it. LOL!)
Exercise: 2.75 mile walk

Official WI day ~ I'm down 0.6 from last Friday, so I'll take it! Any loss is excellent in my eyes! :) I brought my trusty pedometer to work today to see how long my walks are when I go out around campus. I have 8.6 pounds left to get to my goal and I'm ready to push forward and get this done! It might seem like a small amount left to lose to some people, but it seems bigger than ever for me. I think once I get out of the 170s it will make a difference in how I view things. I just need to stay focused, keep pushing, and not give up.

My dad came over last night and said I look emaciated which I thought was hysterical because I am so far from emaciated it's not even funny. :lol: At 5'9 I could have set my goal weight to 145-150 and I would still be healthy, but I have a larger frame (I am not dainty by any definition), so 165 is a good goal for me. It just made me laugh because I know he's just used to seeing me bigger.

On a different note...Today, I am thankful for my legs. I was looking at my nekkid self in the mirror today after my shower and I noticed that my hips have really slimmed down, but my legs are still a complete mess. Lumpy, jiggly, untoned. I would love to have smooth, toned legs...even if they were big, it wouldn't bother me as long as they were toned. Then, I stopped and realized that my legs are good just as they are now. Sure, they could be better appearance-wise, but that's for my own vanity...but I could have no legs at all, or I could have things wrong with my legs that render them unusable. So, even though my thighs are lumpy and jiggly and look like sagging elephant skin, they are my legs and I'm just grateful that I have them. It's important to me to keep things in perspective and be grateful for the body I have. So, my challenge to anyone reading this is to find something you despise about your body and be grateful for it. We only get one body and we have to love it regardless of the appearance. :hug:

I LOVE MY STRETCHMARKS....even when I'm "Nekkid"!!!:lol: :carrot:

I actually LOVE your post today...very inspiring.;)

*EDIT* - Sorry, but I lied. I really don't love my stretchmarks no more than I love the gap in my two front teeth.:lol: I remember my ex-hubby told me that he thought stretchmarks gave a woman "character"! haha...I believed him obviously cause I say I DO!

I do, however, ACCEPT every part of me...good and bad. I, like you, am grateful for the most precious gift of all...life.:)

Day 44
 

Joy, I have stretchmarks, too...and while I don't love them, I do accept them like you said. :)

WI: 172.8

Breakfast: Usual (361)
Lunch: Three-cheese rigatoni (250)
Snacks: Yogurt (80), Gum (5), Cheese stick (80), baked cucumber slices w/salt, pepper, and shredded cheese (100), other half of huge sweet potato (143), air-popped popcorn (217)
Dinner: Baked chicken w/laughing cow wedges, broccoli (304)

Calories: 1540
Exercise: 2.18 mile walk, mowed front lawn

Ah, Saturday...my poor husband is in downtown Chicago for a conference from 8 a.m. until 8 p.m., so that leaves me here by myself. It's going to be a great day, though! I already took my dog for a nice walk (it's only in the 60s today), and I am planning to go on my own extended walk, I will be going shopping for baby clothes for a friend, I will be buying some groceries for the needy (I use coupons and look for major sales and stock up for a local local home/shelter...I figure, if I can spend $5-$10 a week and get $20 worth of food, then why not?), will clean the house, take a nap, and watch a movie. Yep ~ the day is all planned out! :carrot:

It's so amazing the deals you can find with couponing! A few weeks ago I bought 4 deodorants for $1. Total. And I don't use that kind, so they're going right to the women's home. And last week I bought those Pasta Sides packs for like 30 cents each. Don't use 'em, but someone else will be able to. I don't do any community service or volunteering, so I figure this is something small I can do to help others. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I hate seeing people suffer especially when it comes to food. I have such a history of being so gluttonous with food and it makes me feel bad. Some people have nothing.

WOW Emme - You are shrinking girl!!! I just know you're going to make your goal of 165 soon. Thanks for the challenge to stay OP this weekend. It's really working for me.

Enjoy your day :carrot:

Day 45
 

WI: 171.6

Breakfast: Usual (361)
Lunch: Sun-dried tomato pesto chicken (260)
Snacks: 1/2 baked sweet potato (143), Gum (5), FiberOne snack bar (140), Lucky Charms cereal w/skim milk (177), coffee (15)
Dinner: Double cheese-turkey burger on whole wheat bun w/ketchup and onion and pepperjack cheese (515)

Calories: 1616
Exercise: Six hours of yard work

Hmmm...not sure why my weight dropped so much since yesterday. I'm interested to see what it will be tomorrow morning. I'm assuming it will go up. Although I don't always love weighing in daily, it does allow me to see what is going on with my body and I find it really interesting...a science experiment.

Low-key day today. Husband is working on the yard again, but my back is shot from working so much on it last week, so I am not going to be helping (and, trust me, I am not complaining about that!). I see a nice walk in my future. Maybe a few quick errands. Happy Sunday! :D

P.S. A sweet potato sprayed on the outside with butter spray and then doused with splenda and cinnamon and then baked is my new best friend! It's like candy!

P.P.S. I got roped into helping in the backyard, so that will be my exercise for the day!

Seems like all that "yard work" is paying off..eh?!;) Your knocking these last few pounds out of the park...DO IT!!!:carrot: :dancer: :carrot:

Oh yeah...and congrats on breaking that viscous addiction to lean pockets. It is hard..I know..and painful...I know this too well!:lol:

Day 46
 

Joy ~ It does feel good to be broken free from the Lean Pockets! :carrot:

WI: 169.6

Breakfast: Usual (361)
Lunch: Turkey w/roasted green beans & baked cheetos (330)
Snacks: Yogurt w/kashi (97), Gum (5), 1/2 baked sweet potato (125), cheese stick (80), jell-o sugar free pudding (60)
Dinner: 3 ground turkey tacos w/cheese and salsa, broccoli (500)

Calories: 1558
Exercise: One mile walk

Hmm...something seems suspect here. I'm not sure how the heck I could have lost exactly five pounds in one week. My WI last Monday was 174.6 and today I am 169.6. I do know that on Saturday I had a lot of (ahem) bathroom time in the morning, and the magically delicious Lucky Charms I ate last night caused a bathroom attack this morning at 5:30. So, maybe I just got a lot of stuff out of my system?!? Who knows. Being the ever-cautious weight-loser that I am, I am not expecting this 169.6 to stick around for long. It just doesn't seem plausible that I could lose that much in one week.

It's called a WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH baby WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!:D I LOVE IT! 169.6?...WOOT!:D