One reason those those calorie calculators seem high is that people routinely underestimate their calories. I think there are two main reasons for this:
1. Inaccurate information/inaccurate measuring. Measuring cups are wildly inaccurate, and nutrition labels can be up to 20% off.
2. Not properly considering cheats. If someone eats 1200/calories a day except they have a nice meal out once a week, IME they usually still consider themselves to be eating 1200/calories a day. But that one meal could easily be 1400 calories (I mean, that's a cheeseburger and only half the fries), and that adds 200/calories a day to their daily average. So they aren't eating 1200/calories a day, they are eating 1400/calories a day.
Calorie calculators assume that none of that is happening--that your calorie counts are 100% accurate. So they seem really high.
In any case, as long as you are being consistent, it doesn't matter if you are accurate. Pick a number on the high side* and stick to it religiously for 3 weeks--if you go over at all, make sure you go under on other days to even it out (this is where on line counting is a godsend). If you lose weight at about 1% of your body weight a week and you don't feel ravenously hungry at the end, you're at a good point. If you aren't losing at that rate or if you are too hungry to think, adjust your calories down or up, accordingly.
*I suggest starting high because hey, if you can lose weight at a higher level, why suffer at a lower one?
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