*sigh* I. have. fallen. off. the. wagon. AGAIN.

I'm so upset with myself. I started counting calories in March. By April 8th I had lost 11 pounds. On that date I went on a vacation, and I have not lost an ounce since then! I'm very frustrated, I wanted to reach my mini-goal of 165 pounds for June 1st, and that was 2 days ago. I am still a big 13 pounds away from that as of right now, and it's making me feel horrible. I disgust myself, I can't believe how lazy I am and how little willpower I have, it makes me sick.

I know what I need to do, and how to do it, I'm just too ******* lazy to do it. I hate my life as it is, I know I need to change things. I thought this was a big enough realization to push me to go through with it. But no, here I am.

What do you tell yourself to push yourself to go back to strict health guidelines? I eat healthy, I just eat way too much. I tried drinking water before/after meals. I have very filling, nutritious meals. I just have nothing better to do after dinner than sit around and eat some more. It's killing me, it's killing my weight-loss attempt. I want to cry. But I don't want to give up.

How do I gather the motivation and the self-control to stick to my calorie budget and do a little be of exercise every day? How do I force myself to go through it. I'm hoping that I'll grow into it and eventually will WANT TO go exercise, but for now it's a terrible chore. It makes me feel so unhealthy, I'm out of breath so easily, and get aches everywhere.

I don't even know where to start now that I look at it. I started a diet livejournal on June 1st claiming a new beginning, and I haven't made a single change since then.

Help... I don't know if I can handle the challenge of weight loss... I have to do it, but it's so overwhelming...

Ok, first of all, I do not see this as a failure. You lost 11lbs, went on a vacation, and have supposedly fallen off the wagon since? Um, HELLO! Girl, you didn't gain anything! Do you realize how much worse it could be? This is a lifestyle change, meaning you have changed for your whole life. You have pleeeenty of time to get to goal. This is why I don't like time/deadline goals. I'll lose X by such and such date. Pat yourself on the back for maintaining and not gaining the lost pounds back. So many put those pounds on plus some by the time they wave the white flag and admit that they fell off the wagon. So you haven't failed, you're obviously doing something right.

Second, you need to find a plan that works for you. There are gazillions of "diet plans" out there. Everyone is more than willing to send you an article of such and such article that claims that doing such and such will help you burn the fat or lower your calorie intake or whatever. I call BS on a lot of that. This is a VERY individualized process. What works perfectly for one person probably wouldn't work for 95% of the rest of the population. Of course, there are some basic rules that we all must follow. Calorie intake must be lower than calories burned. No matter what version of a plan you follow, that must be true in order to lose weight.

That being said, find what you can sustain. Like you, I'm a night time snacker. Watching a movie in the evening after my work and homework is done while having some snacks is pretty much my favorite thing in the world. And ya know what? I eat about half of my daily calories AFTER dinner. Shocking, I know, because most people spewing out diet tips will say "don't eat after 8pm," "don't mindlessly snack in front of the TV," "you should have 5-6 evenly balanced mini-meals throughout the day." Etc etc etc. Sure, I've tried all that advice, and it drove me nuts. If I stuck with it any longer, I would have given up the whole dang thing. So I did what works for me. Small breakfast mid morning, small lunch mid afternoon, large-ish dinner, then several healthy snacks throughout the night. I've lost nearly 50lbs this way, so anybody who tells me I'm breaking the 10 commandments of dieting can eat it, lol.

I also hate exercising. But again, I found what works for me. I have tried to force myself to be a jogger. I just can't do it with a smile on my face. I hate every second of jogging, if I'm on a treadmill or on a trail or a road. Early morning, evening. With friends, by myself with my iPod. I just hate it, no matter how much I try to do it. But, I can walk. At first I felt like I was taking the easy way out with walking...running is real exercise, walking is lazy. But, when I can hardly stand to run for 10 minutes but I can walk 1-2hrs/day and enjoy myself, which one is better? I also like swimming, jump roping while watching TV, I literally do 4min at a time, 5 times a day, of strength training with hand weights because I can't force myself to do 20 min all at once.

I don't mean to make this thread about me, but I think I'm a pretty good example of somebody who is NOT following all the "diet rules" but still got results. And my lifestyle is perfectly maintainable for me, I'm not fighting an uphill battle to keep myself on plan everyday. I don't even think all that hard about staying on plan because it's so habitual and easy for me. You need to find that happy balanced plan for yourself. If you want to snack in the evenings, then snack in the evenings! If the out of breath feeling is making you not exercise, go for a walk around the block three times a day for now. Figure out a plan that you can stick to, that's the key.

why put dates on your weight loss goals?
too much pressure.
be kinder to yourself. I agree with mkendrick. you have not GAINED!!!!!!!!
get back on the wagon and go easy on yourself girl!
hugs

I love the advice you've already gotten, but I wanted to add my two cents. I have done every weight loss plan there is to do. For the most part, I've found that they all work, but the Calories In/Calories Out idea seems the most useful for me. To lose I just have to use up more than I put in.

On Jan 1, 2008 I was 167 - got down to 144 before my annual July vacation. On Jan 1, 2009 I was 165 - got down to 152 before my annual July vacation. On Jan 1, 2010 I was 161 - haven't had my annual July vacation yet, but was 151 this morning. If I look back to 2008, and think about the time since then, I would be tempted to call myself a failure. Each year I get a little closer to figuring it out.

I'm not suggesting that you wait 3 years to figure it out like I did, but I can tell you that I've changed my way of thinking....do I want to eat things that I shouldn't? Of course. And I do. But I also know that I can combat the calories with activity. I've tried jogging and crazy arobics. HATE IT. What I do like is a stroll through the neighborhood late at night. If I've had a snack I shouldn't have had, I take a long one. I can't say I really like walking, but I've come to enjoy a peaceful stoll when I'm all alone with my iPod and the coyotes and foxes that I come across every night. I'm pretty sure they don't like my singing, but I'm ok with that If you're tempted to have a snack, why not go for a walk instead? Doesn't have to be fast or hard, but get away from the house and the food. It's likely that when you get back home, you won't want that snack anymore.

Slow and steady wins the race. I wish I could say I've lost 11lbs since March, but I can't. You can! However, I can tell you that when I leave for my July vacation, I'll be in the 140s. And for January 2011, in the 150s or lower

RienQueNny - when I got home from work I cut the grass, which is a 3 mile walk. Whenever I spend time outside (yardwork, grilling out, etc.) I have a bad habit of having a couple of (light) beers. I did that tonight.

After re-reading my response to your post, I looked at the beer next to me, put on my workout clothes, and walked 2 miles. So your post helped me tonight. I hope my response helped you.

Please PM me if you need a motivational buddy.

I think you're awesome. I think you have plenty of willpower and I don't think you're lazy at all. You're here, and that is the first step. I can use some help myself.

Best of the Best to You!!!

Thanks everyone for your kind words... you're right, I haven't gained, and that is very important.
I wanted to be 165 pounds by June first so that I could go shopping for a nice bathing suit instead of wearing shorts and a tank top to the beach yet again this year. I don't quite feel comfortable for a swimsuit at this point though.

Counting calories worked fine for me, when I actually took the time to do it, and to not go over. Now I eat until my calorie limit for the day is reached, then if I go over it's just "whatever". I don't want it to be that way!

I have started exercising with a friend but again I'm not very fit and neither is she so we don't do much, but it feels like a lot. So it feels like I should be seeing/feeling a difference, but I'm not because I'm eating too much of the wrong stuff.

Ugh. It's just a matter of stopping the complaining and actually doing something about it. I need to get to that point.