Hello fellow calorie counting chicks,
I’m in need of a little assistance. DH has finally agreed to climb aboard the wagon with me, If….I do all the work…lol… I told him he did have to work with me on weekends to pre plan meals and pre weigh and package snacks and such for the week, and he agreed. The problem is that I have a very hard time reaching my calorie target of 1550. To be honest I have only ever made it about 3 times. It seems to me that I eat constantly and I’m still in the 1300’s. I did manage to make it into the 1400’s most days last week. But if I can’t even make it to my measly 1550 then how am I suppose to get him up to 1950? I have no idea what I’m doing here and it is totally stressing me out. Also, how do I convince him that 3oz of meat is a portion? He eats enough meat in one meal for 3-4 people. He is trying to do better. He’s going to the doc today so I told him to get a referral to a nutritionist or whatever he has to do to see one. He’s military so no telling what hoops he has to jump through to see one. See if maybe they can help. We went to one before but she just basically went over with us what portion sizes were. We know what proper portions are. We know how to eat healthy. We just need to know how to fit in our “healthy” calories so we’re not getting hungry and going for the junk. I seem to be doing pretty well for myself, I just don’t know how to adapt it to increase the calories so he is getting enough of everything and getting all his calories. Does he get more snacks? Bigger meals? I just don’t know! *sigh*
When I was pregnant I had gestational diabetes and the nutritionist/dietician (not sure which she was) gave me a chart that said how many I could have of each food group for each meal and snack…
Example:
Breakfast- 2 grains, 1 fruit/veg, 1 dairy
Snack- 1 protein, 1 fruit/veg
Lunch- 1 protein, 2 fruit/veg, 2 grain, 1 dairy
And so on, and so on.
I think I need something like this for him. Just so I know he’s getting all the necessary nutrients and calories. I know if he’s hungry all the time this is never going to work. I don’t know if anyone can help or has any suggestions. But maybe one of the guys that were roughly in that range could give me an example of one of their days meals it would be very much appreciated. Sorry this was so long. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
Oh, By the way. DH is 41, 5’10”, 250 lbs, and has a desk job and is a total couch potato. He has a back injury and is in physio and massage therapy every week just to get him through a work week, and of course the more weight he puts on the worse his back gets.

One way to easily boost calories in a healthy way is to make sure you are getting enough *healthy* fats. Fatty fish (salmon. tuna), nuts, natural peanut butter, olive oil, avacados, etc. are all very good for you. Just have to be careful with measuring!

Hey there - I'm happy to try to help!

The first thing that really JUMPED out at me is this:
I wonder if you are having a hard time getting to 1500 calories (and would have a hard time getting him to 1900 calories) because you're a little fixated on portion sizes.

3-4 oz of meat is a portion, but if you have the calories to spare, it doesn't mean you're not allowed to have more than one portion! In order to get in all the protein I'm trying to get in, I often have 2 portions of chicken with dinner. 5-6 oz of chicken breast is about one 1/2-breast. For your husband, that would not be an unreasonable portion size.

FWIW, my calorie goal is 1500 a day and here's what I eat on an average day:

Breakfast (one of the following):
container of Fage 2% yogurt w/ frozen blackberries (200 cals)
steel cut oats with cheese (260 calories)
1/2 pb sandwich with homemade jam (280 calories)
scrambled eggs on whole wheat toast (260 calories)

Lunch:
Soup (I make a soup similar to a WW 0-points soup with lots of veggies and chicken broth that is very filling, or I'll make a butternut squash soup with chicken broth) and wasa crackers with cheese - (350-ish cals)
An enormous salad with leftover meat from the night before (chicken breast, grilled pork loin, etc. - (350-ish cals)
Leftovers from dinner the night before combined with some kind of carb (could be pasta, quinoa, stir fry, etc.) - (350-ish cals)

Dinner:
Grilled or baked meat or fish of some kind (chicken, salmon, mahi, pork loin, burger, etc)
Roasted or steamed veggies
Salad
(450-ish calories)

Post-workout:
1 scoop of protein powder in water or juice, depending on how many calories I have left for the day (110 cals for just the powder in water, add 120 cals for juice)

Snacks (I have 2-3 snacks a day: after breakfast, after lunch, and sometimes after dinner if I have the calories available. I choose from any of the following, based on available calories):
apple and cheese - (200 cals)
V8 juice - (70 cals)
pb on celery - (200 cals)
boiled egg - (80 cals)
carrots and hummus - (190 cals)
wasa crackers and laughing cow cheese - (150 cals)
yogurt w/ honey - (190 cals)
banana w/ pb - (260 cals)
Edy's all-fruit popsicle - (70 cals)
popcorn popped in corn oil - (150 cals)
a piece of fruit of some kind - (avg 80 cals)

I tend to be pretty consistent with my food, choosing from the above, but I also like to cook, so I look through recipes a lot and mix and match things. I try to stay under those calorie ranges for meals and snacks though
Breakfast - 300
Lunch - 350
Dinner - 500
Snacks - under 200

So if I were to do this for both myself and my husband, I might make the following changes to bulk up his meals and yet keep us both eating on the same plan:
For breakfast - Give him have a double portion of oats. Add more fruit and honey to his yogurt. Give him 3 eggs instead of 2, or add cheese to his scrambled.

For lunch - Larger portions, add cream or milk to his soup, add some whole grain pasta for him. Add avocado to his salad, or extra cheese, or let him indulge with a whole fat dressing or olive oil and vinegar and lemon.

For dinner - Extra portions of meat (5-6 oz instead of 3-4). Add a potato or brown rice or whole grain pasta or other complex carb to his meal. Put a light cheese sauce over his veggies, or dress them in olive oil and lemon pepper.

Basically let him eat the same things you eat, but MORE of it, and maybe with a bit more olive oil, or salad dressing or whatever.

For me getting enough calories is not hard. It's not getting too many that I struggle with!

.

Nutritional approaches vary a lot, and one 'size' doesn't fit all. PhotoChick has given some very good guidelines. As she said, a 5'10" man who weighs that much does not have to be restricted to 3 ounces of protein per meal.

The main thing that you'll probably want to cut down on is carbohydrate foods, especially those that tend to get loaded with oil as well. Mashed potatoes with butter and/or gravy come to mind. More vegetables, some fruits, a bit more protein (but not overdoing it on the steaks), and less carbohydrate will likely make a big difference in his weight. Good fats in small amounts are also important to keep in the mix. Olive oil, nuts, flax seed--like yoyoma said, measure carefully.

The same goes for you, of course. You could probably eat more protein yourself to get to the calorie level you want.

Jay

Honestly, it would drive me insane to try to keep track of my husband's calories. I'm not a calorie-counter myself, though I try to keep in mind the general calorie range of what I'm eating and how my plan plays out, and I tweak it here and there when I think I'm going over too much.

All that is to say that the only thing I had to do to facilitate my husband's weight loss was to get him off of simple carbohydrates: Sugar, white rice, and white flour. So, pretty much like JayEll said...fewer carbs, more healthy fats, more veggies, lean meats. Now my husband eats a big salad or other veggies with me at dinner, he snacks on apples and oranges and almonds, and he eats something like FiberOne cereal for breakfast with milk and nuts. He does not struggle with hunger at all and I can tell that he loves the way that being off the simple carbs makes him feel. When he wants a treat, he gets a couple squares of dark chocolate and slathers it with peanut butter.

Without the soda he used to drink, and the massive quantities of white rice at dinner, the man is dropping pounds like it's going out of style. He started at about 285 pounds, he's 5'8", and he's down over 40 pounds now, just since June. He does some walking, but little formal exercise. (He hates exercise and is a computer-gaming geek.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd concentrate more on getting him OFF the junk foods and ON the whole foods, encourage him to eat the good stuff until he's satisfied (at least at first), and you'll probably see great results with just that. In fact you'll probably be highly envious of how easy it is for him

I've been working with my DH to try to help him get back in sync with the counting process the last few months, also. I actually got started on the weight loss and exercise plan because he was doing it first, back in February. We had a big talk about getting ourselves in better shape for his son, my stepson. Well, he responds to stress by falling off plan, where I tend to go the other way and get obsessively tight to plan. So, he has been a little off track for a while and just starting to get back on.

I take it the way Photo Chick suggests - I have meals planned out with the portions for the entire meal divided in such a way as to give him a certain number and myself a certain number, as I've gotten closer to maintenance I've beefed the recipes up a little to give myself a little more, but am keeping him to the same level. He gets more of the same things that I eat so feels more full. I don't buy anything but diet soda, and not much of that. We make smoothies in the morning for breakfast, he just adds a little more protein than me. I have a hard time monitoring his snacks at work or after I go to bed, but he knows that he is a grown up and has to take some part in this process himself. I'm also poking him to exercise a little more, which is almost working!

Mine is about your DH height, similar job, weighs 232. Not the same variables, but close. I'll formally track what DH is eating for the next couple of days and post it here later in the week if you would like?

Thank you everyone. I told you I had no idea what I was doing. I read the forums often and try to pick things up (like the peanut butter last week). And thanks to you Photochick I just had my first pb&j in over two months. and I love pb&j. I just had a half one for snack. yummy...

I guess maybe I have been shortchanging myself on meat. I thought a portion was set in stone. so once i have my allowance of protein with each meal and my whole grain. i just try to fill up on veggies and fruit the rest of the day. If I get to the end of the day and I am VERY short I try to have some tuna with a few crackers. I'm never hungry so I thought I was doing the right thing. But i'm not a huge meat eater. I can take it or leave it, but DH on the other hand...

So since I started 2 months ago. I have already changed out all of our refined white stuff. We have brown and wild rice, no canned veggies, almost all fresh except for a few frozen, we've used sweetener instead of sugar for years, no processed meats (which has been the hardest part for us, simply due to convenience). I was just sooo wrong about the portions. I thought part of the whole weight loss thing was about moving more and eating less and your stomach shrinking. How can your stomach shrink when you are still eating a ton...granted it is healthier food we're eating a ton of.

I know DH's big problems are the endless bags of chips he can sit and eat during the evening and the great big slushies, but he has agreed that when these are gone he will not buy anymore. He also has a cafeteria at work and sometimes gets a bacon, egg and cheese breakfast bagel for his morning "snack". I freaked when I found that out. So I just want to make sure I have plenty of healthy nutritious snacks for him so hes not tempted to buy those sandwiches. And now that I know that he can have two plates of food if he wants as long as he has the calories and it is good healthy food then I wont stress so much. Even though I cook healthy, I still cringed when I saw him go for seconds because I thought it was about portion control. Thanks everyone. I know i'm a long way from knowing it all, but baby steps, right?

and Shannon I would appreciate a sample of your husbands daily intake. Every little bit of info helps. Thanks.

Well, yes and no.

Hm. I have a bunch of thoughts all tangled up in my head and I'm trying to think of how to lay them out in a way that makes sense. I think I might ramble here - so I hope you'll bear with me.

There are three things that contribute to weight gain for most people (I'm really really really oversimplifying here, but I think this is mostly accurate):
(1) eating too much
(2) eating the wrong kinds of things
(3) not getting enough exercise.
I think most people who are overweight suffer from a combination of all three, but for the purposes of this topic, let's talk about the food related ones.

It is possible to gain weight eating nothing but healthy foods, but eating too much of them. Apples are good for me, but if I ate 5 apples a day, that would be 500 calories, and on top of other healthy eating, it would probably cause me to gain weight. Oats are good for me, but 3 servings a day would set me back 450 calories. Again, I'd gain weight. So eating healthy stuff in huge quantities is bad.

But it's also possible to gain weight eating minuscule amounts of very bad stuff. I could limit myself to 2 KFC chicken bowls per day and at 900 calories each and incredible amounts of fat, sodium, etc. I would most certainly gain weight.

If you're one of those people who eats a lot (like me - portion size was always my problem), then learning to eat less and having your stomach become accustomed to less - that is important. But you might also be one of those people who doesn't really have a problem with portions, and just ate really caloric junky food all the time. For that person, worrying about "shrinking your stomach" isn't so much important.

And in fact, for either situation, obsessing about "portion sizes" in terms of VOLUME is counter productive. Because ultimately it doesn't matter how MUCH you eat, as long as what you're eating is:
(1) within your calorie range
(2) nutritious
(3) keeps you feeling full and not hungry

Ok, I know you're freaking out now, cause I just told you that how much you eat doesn't matter, right?

But you have to notice those three qualifications.

Just because a single portion of something is X amount, it doesn't mean that there's a law that says you can only have one serving at a time. If you have the calories available and you're hungry, then HAVE a second apple. Have 2 eggs. Have 1/2 cup of oats instead of a 1/4 cup. That doesn't mean you can go back for 2nds or 3rds or 4ths w/out consequences if you're eating over your calorie limit. But if you have the calories available then why make yourself be hungry or deprive yourself?

The idea here is not to become pedantic about serving sizes, but to make sure that the servings you're eating are in line with your nutritional needs.

Does that make any sense at all???

.

When it comes to fish and poultry, I almost always have a 5-6oz portion. Beef is where I try to stick to 4oz.

The difference is that I don't always have "meat" at every meal. Typically for lunch I get protein from cottage cheese, beans maybe an egg.

You can easily increase calories for your husband by increasing protein at lunch. Adding an additional side for him (like rice or pasta) that you would not add for yourself.

Also he would likely get one additional snack from you.

While I was losing 90 lbs., DH was losing 60. What worked for me (in addition to much of what is already posted) was to look at portions - well - proportionally.

DH and I ate the same foods, but I ate 2/3 of what he ate. I just served myself smaller portions.

Tonight I opened a can of Progresso Lentil Soup, for instance - I had about 3/8 of the can, and he had the rest. This works with lots of foods that come in "two serving" sizes.
This works well when we eat out as well - we split an entree and I eat less than half, and he eats more than half (except the veggies - I split those 50/50).

You will get the hang of it - and - congrats on this new development in your journey. Having DH with me along the way made it so much more fun and enjoyable!!!!

Photochick basically said everything I had in mind. "portion size" to me is simply a rough estimate of what an average person needs. What matters is how many calories you need to consume in a day to meet your goals that matters. The "portion sizes" can go up or down to meet your caloric goals.

If you are having a hard time getting all your calories in I have one word for you:

WALNUTS

What everyone said is great advice! I know with just me making changes in the way I cook and my DH not having many seconds in the 6 weeks I have been at this he has lost 7lbs without even really trying.

Good luck with it all !

Thank you everyone, so very much. I am only two months new at this and learning along the way. I'm trying to do things right but forgot to read the manual to find out what 'right' is. But since I didn't read the manual before jumping on this train I will continue to come here for your help and advice. I really appreciate all your support.

Photochick you have such a great way of explaining things. I appreciate the time and effort you put into your messages they truly do help, and I know I'm not the only one that appreciates you. Not that the others are slackers! Well heck! You guys know what I'm talking about you read her posts too.. : )

THANKS EVERYONE!