I've been working on losing weight and shaping my body for nearly a year now. I first noticed that when I was losing weight and working out on a daily basis, I couldn't help but look at myself in the mirror. I had become fascinated with my body and the new strength my muscles had.
So while my body image had improved, something else happened. Guys were paying more attention to me, but instead of that feeling empowering, I felt more insecure. The point of me getting healthy was...well, to be healthy, but also to help me feel more comfortable in my own skin... and lately I feel less comfortable, more insecure,
Is this a normal part of the process? Or any suggestions on how to get past this phase?
I went through the same thing. I actually got down to 130 and for awhile I was very bothered at the attention from men I received. It was as if the fat that was on my body previously had been my clothing and that with more and more weight that I lost I was becoming more and more naked to the outside world. I was so paranoid and grossed out at times at the "I'm undressing you with my eyes" looks I'd get from skeazy guys, that I binged my way out of my weightloss (well, that, and for other reasons also) and now I don't get "checked out" quite as often.
I, too, used to think that I had wanted to be checked out by men like all the "skinny, pretty girls" always were. I guess those always-thin women are used to the looks and don't give it a second thought, because it is so normal for them.
Most likely you are taking better care of yourself, too, along with the weight loss, such as wearing more makeup, doing your hair, better clothes, etc. That contributes to the frequency of looks you will get.
I recommend not letting it get to you as it did for me. Don't take it to heart. The looks that you get from men are just their normal behavior, and they are just doing what comes natural. Definitely don't let it affect your goals or your maintenancte. For so long women are losing weight for the attention of men and unfortunately some of us (me, included) are unable to maintain a normal weight because of our perceptions of men and our relationships with men. I recommend therapy as a way to work through this, as I have, and it has done wonders for my self esteem and body acceptance.
Yes I know that!
I had loose arround 30 pounds and felt the same and got back everything. And I do that every time again and again. I think I am affraid of man I guess. When I am fat they ignore me and I like that.
We sholud NOT PAY ATTENTION on their glances as Skinnyme said. I guess that is the only way!
Isn't it amazing that you can feel invisible (and somehow protected) when you are overweight? By being LARGER, you become invisible!
And when you become smaller, people pay more attention to you. And if you aren't used to this, it is, well, somewhat disconcerting. And one feels more "self conscious", like "why are they looking at me?" and "why NOW and not back THEN when I really wanted some attention?"
Too confusing for me to sort out. I guess all I can say is to focus on yourself and the health benefits, and realize that when you are HOT, well, you get attention! Both wanted and unwanted. Just part of life, I suppose...and soon enough your self-confidence will catch up with your physical self...
I went through that when I got down to 187 (3 years ago). I used to be skinny until after I had my first child.
To make the story short and leave out some horrible detailing...I was the reason I gained weight. I finally realized that I am the one who keeps jeopardizing my weightloss because I associated being skinny with getting negative attention from men.
You might not be able to stop them from gawking, but you can stop them from being disrespectful!
Be proud of your body...not matter what your size!
yes! thank you! lol i've been trying to explain this to my best friend (who has never been bigger than a size 4) and she just doesn't get it. It doesn't make sense to her.
But it's totally true. The heavier i am the more invisible i feel, and as i've been losing weight, and i notice that guys give me second glances, or what's worse, creepy old men smile at me and say hello, it makes me uncomfortable and insecure in my body.
I've been working through this mentally and as i remind myself that it doesn't matter who sees me as pretty, ugly, fat or skinny, its about how i feel; stronger, healthier and eventually more confident.
Well, Sweetsiren, I am right there with you. I finally decided while sitting in church today that I have to learn to embrace the invisible me. I was screaming for attention when I was heavier. Now I don't know how to take the glares, is it "wow she looks nice"or "it's about time"?? I don't know how to take it all...
I felt like you do when I first lost loads of weight aged 17. I was not used to the male attention which other girls had already had for a few years. I did not know how to deal with it and felt uncomfortable, having suddenly become a sexual being. It was weired, because that was one of the things I had longed for and had hoped to get through becoming slim.
I still wonder wehther this was part of the reason why I could not maintain the slender figure for long. It was like better the devil you know. I went back to being my old weight (and more!) before long, and although the old self-loathing came back too, at least I did not need to deal with boys and the jealousy of other girls (which also became an issue). All the attention was not for me after all. I could not handle it, although I deeply regretted (and still regret!) taking the easy option and regain it all back rather than persevere, get used to it and finally start to enjoy life!
My thin friend, who was blessed with a naturally slim figure, is totally oblivious to guys checking her out. I wonder if you just get used to it after a while!
Weight loss & insecurity
Glad to know I wasn't alone
