ask for a t-shirt made up that says 'No i didnt have surgery!' for xmas? :D

I look at this way. The people who are spreading the rumour just cannot imagine , comprehend or believe that anyone could lose weight like you did. It is bad that they dont feel you could not do such an impossible task. But the joy lies in you knowing that you did and everyone on 3FC knowing that you did it ;-).
So it doesnt really matter. I am a web designer who has a degree in marketing when I meet old friends, they are surprised that I design websites. They ask me to show me some of my sites, and after I do they again ask me atleast 2 times if I designed this site.
I am taking it as a complement. Now when someone doesnt doubt if I have done the site then I feel that the site is not good enough :-D.
So get ready for more of this when you reach your second goal.
If you still feel bad you can always come over to 3fc and start thread which say "did i do a surgery??" and I am sure you will get enough of replies that will make you happy.
There is a saying "a thief thinks that everyone is a thief" the same applies here. If those people ever got overweight more than a 100 pounds they would only lose it through surgery. They know that deep inside.
So they spread these rumours just to console themselves that "everyone else" to loses weight only through surgery so that they can sleep at night :-P
There could also be another reason, that these people deep inside feel that they are fat. You now many people who are not fat or a few pounds heavy are affected more than most of us who are way overweight. These people must have tried to lose those few measly pounds by dieting or such and may have failed and they may have though of going in for surgery.
I know people who get surgery done when their hips get a little heavy. they get surgery done every 6 months but would never bother to change their lifestyle of late nights/alchohol/fast food.
The fact is that if you start allowing these people "hang-ups", insecurities and complexes affect you, you are not going to enjoy the fruits of your labour. Dont let them take it away from you. You worked hard for it and you deserve it. They do not determine how you feel, you do.
So take your happiness out of their minds and reclaim it back and share it with us over here :-)
Best of luck.

I only read the first 1 1/2 page and then skimmed the rest fast. Here's my two cents:

Originally Posted by :
It's about other people believing that gastric surgery is a walk in the park.

I was watching True Life: I'm Obese when this fella was like, "I'm not really trying to eat better now because the weight loss surgery will fix everything." This made me sooooo upset because he will just wind up getting the surgery(if he's approved) and gaining it all back again. He didn't realize that the surgery didn't fix everything and there are so many worries when getting it.

Also, my mother has a friend who had WLS and she doesn't seem to really have changed her eating habits. Even when I eat now, how I eat is still different. My mom who is a nurse/friend of another WLS patient spent a week with her and is baffled how she gets all her nutrients and protien cause she eats atrociously.

I like doing the weight loss my way because I gradually get into these new habits. I can have a bad week if I choose. It is harder sometimes but it's worth it. I wrote on one of my college applications that I want to loose my weight the healthy way without surgery or drugs.

To the topic though, I've been getting remarks on "how are you doing it?" When I reply, "healthy eating and exercise" they look dissapointed. It's like everyone is looking for a magical cure but there really isn't. My step mother asked me. Her whole family has a weight problem. I ate dinner with them. One look at that dinner and you know why they are obese. The food was swimming in butter. Even the veggies were slathered with butter. I just sat there thinking, "She wants to loose the weight but doesn't even want to try." I remember how even when my mother was at her highest, she'd still use lower calorie stuff. My grandmother's dinners aren't even that buttery! The naturally slim ladies at work are always complaining how they are fat but if they added in regular exercise and stopped snacking that much at work, they'd have no problem at all. My one friend was complaing about her "fat-ness" and again, I point to myself and just give her tiny tips. Of course, any tips I tell most people, they do not do. Magic pill syndrome.

This is a discussion that hit home for me. First, let me say that I have nothing but respect for people who lose significant weight by any means and keep it off long-term. I live in Appalachia where it seems like everybody and their brother are getting gastric bypass surgery. You hear ads constantly on the radio and even see billboards hawking the different hospitals that offer it.

When I lost my weight most people just assumed that it was the result of surgery. To the point that I just got tired of correcting them. And it is absolutely correct that most people want to end the conversation when it begins to go in the "diet and exercise" direction. I'm not sure what this says about public attitudes regarding personal sacrifice and healthy habits, but it can't be good. I too have had doctors assume I had surgery. When I tell them otherwise it seems unbelievable to them. I chalk it up to living where I do.

I've known several folks who have had the surgery and my view of it is this: Weight loss surgery is like jumping off a cliff. It temporarily takes all your choice away. You will lose weight no matter what. It's also full of hardship and potential complications. My sister-in-law has had to go back for 2 additional procedures over the last 3 years. I can fully understand the allure of having all choice taken out of the process. As we all know here, maintenance afterwards is the tricky part for whatever path a person takes. That's where daily decisions make or break your goals. But for people who lose weight by adopting healthy habits, additional psychological and physical commitments are required to get to your goal weight in the first place (Hey, it's hard work!). So it stings a little when somebody implies you may have taken the "easy" way out.

As time passes, less people comment on my weight loss. People I know realize now that if they don't want a conversation about healthy habits, they shouldn't ask about it. I know there are people who might suspect I had surgery no matter what I say. The older I get the less I seem to care what other people might believe. In school, with the intense social pressures that you can't avoid, I can see how it would be troubling.

John, I'm with you on not caring what other people believe. I'm 36, after all -- I stopped caring long ago. That was why it was so surprising that I found myself caring when a student started spreading the rumor. I guess it made me realize that maybe I do have certain prejudices about the different choices we can make for weight loss, and maybe I DO want credit for all the miles I've run! But if I had surgery, I suppose I'd want people to understand the difficulties involved in that as well. I guess I just thought -- if people are going to comment on it all the time, they might as well have the right idea of how I did it instead of just making up stuff. I think you may have misread me and thought I'm a student in school, with those kinds of social pressures. I'm a high school teacher, with other kinds of pressures! :lol:

I grew up in Appalachia too, by the way -- in the southwestern corner of Virginia. I just got back from staying with family down there -- I've been away for years but I miss it and I'll always feel like that's my home!

The thing is I think these rumors are unfortunately human nature. It's the nonfamous person's version of being in the tabloids (in which every story is 100% true of course). I remember in freshman year of highschool one of the girls developed breasts over the summer, and two rumors went around - one that she had developed them because she got pregnant and gave up the baby, and two that she had gotten breast implants (this was 25 years ago, when teens weren't actually getting breast implants).

The thing is "childish rumors" aren't restricted to childhood. Correcting misperceptions is often difficult, because people pretty much believe what they want to believe, and when faced with evidence to the contrary choose to ignore it or use it as "stronger" evidence (conspiracy theorists abound).

Hi LisaMarie -

First off, congrats on your weight loss and the new 'healthy and fit' you!!

I am also an educator, and I know how kids are. Just a thought - since you think you've identified the student, who also happens to be overweight, and more than likely VERY unhappy, why don't you try to become a role model for him......in a very non-threatening way, perhaps ask him to walk around the track with you at lunch one day, or to help you carry some things upstairs (avoid the elevator if you have one). He probably feels very insecure, and may have no one to talk to, but is envious of your triumph over food. I know you don't harbor ill will towards him for spreading the rumor, but he may think that you do. This would show him that someone cares for him, despite his weight - and that you DO understand his battles!

Lastly - a friend once told me "if someone said you had purple hair, would you be upset?" and I said "no". She said "why not?" and I said "because I don't HAVE purple hair!" .......exactly.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent".

Kudos girl!!

Hey Lisa Marie - First of all, congrats on all of your hard work and success. I know you are proud, as you should be. Second of all, I am also a high school teacher, so the whole 'rumor' issue hits home for me. One of my closest teacher friends is also 36, but she is single. She has had to deal with so many devastating rumors over the years. Last year was a terrible year for her, even with insinuations that she had something going with one of her students, which was utterly RIDICULOUS! She had gone out of her way to help this student, and that was her reward. I'm a bit off topic now, but I know this is bothering you a lot. Why don't you set the record straight in your own classes (you have probably already done this), and let your students try to put out the fires around the school?

I have had several people ask me if I had "the Surgery", but I just took it as idle curiosity. Most of the heavier ones were disappointed to hear that I dropped 100# via diet and exercise.

I can understand, however, how Lisamarie71 would be upset by the rumors. I felt the same way in college when people used to say that I didn't really study but made the Dean's list because of a freakish ability to memorize. I thought I worked very hard for those grades, even if it was easier for me than for my classmates.

I have never considered this but .....
 

I have found this thread very enlightening and interesting. It reminds me of that black woman (I'm sorry I don't remember her name) who was on the View tv program who lost a lot of weight and kept denying that she had had WLS until after she had been in therapy and then "came out" to the public. She said the reason why she didn't tell people she lost all the weight as a result of having had WLS is that she didn't want others to think "she had a problem". Oh really? Having 100+ lbs on her body where everyone could see didn't say something about her relationship with food? It brings up a lot about body image, how we see ourselves and the different stages of denial we are in regarding food. I felt sorry for her as I listened to her talking about "fessin up".

I have never considered having WLS for most of the same reasons Girlygirlsheba has mentioned. The ironic thing is as I have slowly changed what and how I eat, the things I would have clung so dearly to before don't have the same hold on me now. I "needed" those foods then but I don't now.

I am wondering if there is going to become an inbred prejudice amongst dieters of those who chose WLS vs those who didn't. I hope not. I am glad that some of us are more enlightened about the medical risks and complications. We know better. I have known a couple of people who have had the surgery, none of them long term "successes" . Having said that, I feel that I have made the right decision. I don't know if it is harder the way I chose but it is the way I choose to lose weight.

As someone has already said, "One is not necessarily better just different."

Again, it just might mean we will have the cross to bear in terms of educating and informing the general public if they aren't already---provided they wish to know more. My biggest fear is that I will come across as a "know it all" when it comes to dieting and exercising. I really try to remember to "share" and not " preach". I really do.

I always said that I wouldn't become one of "those" people who wants to evangelize the world about healthy food and lifestyle habits but guess what it is everything that I have to do to not blurt it out at one point or another. I just hate to see people eating atrociously when I know that they can do so much better, particularly people in my family whom eating well and exercising will either help their diseases go away or slow them down. I am watching three of my family members dealing with life and death situations based on lifestyle choices.

It makes me so sad but they have eyes, they have ears and they have a brain so they have the same opportunities that I have had to make their own choices. I remind myself that. We all have the ability to choose. I may end being the healthiest orphan when this is over and done with. However, I wouldn't retreat on anything I have done so far for my health either. I am sure whatever way we ultimately choose it is always better than what we chose in the past---to be chronically "unwell" and overweight.

I also want to say that I am not nor will I be ashamed of who I once was but I am also not going to go around (or at least I hope that I won't) shouting it from the rooftops. I liken this to having a baby. It is hard work but it feels good when it is over and any of you moms know, it is never really over. Neither is dieting and keeping it off. It's your "baby" for life! I once said to my DH this might be the most difficult thing I have done and it might be my greatest accomplishment. If others want to know how I did it, I will share. If they don't want to know (or care), that is their right too. Just like our children, once the pictures are passed and we "ooh and aah", no one expects us to go "on and on" how wonderful they are. We just have to hold that tight to our chest and beam---a lot. That is the same way with losing weight.

If people ask me and really are interested I will tell them. If not, I won't. I guess, I plan to be the "If they don't ask, don't tell." One way to squelch those rumors is get a different job where no one knows the former you. That is one consideration no one has mentioned. I would consider this if this continues to bother you.

Again, it gets back to any self-transformation that happens. I look forward to the day when it is a distant memory and even those closest to me forget how I used to look and be. That is what I focus on. I have had a couple of those in my life and I want to assure you that this too shall pass. It really will.

Until then, thank you for sharing about this topic. It has given me a lot to think about in future months when it is my turn. I wonder if anyone has ever said, "MYOB!". Just a thought!;)

I wonder if this is something thats particular to the country, In all the time ive lost weight ive never actually had that said to me that i recall.

I may have had it said once but i dont remember it thats for sure. On the other hand i am getting sick of people asking me how i did it :O