I'm still here! We did a ton (literally) of hardcore yard work this weekend- including offloading a ton of gravel from the back of a truck. I worked out in the yard the whole day and I'm still sore from it!
I have a dilemma of sorts. MY SCALE BROKE! My hubs thinks I'm weird for being rather traumatized by it. I just can't believe it. It was supposed to take this whole journey with me so I'd know exactly how much I lost etc. It lights up but will not weigh anything. Sucks!
So, I broke down and bought a new one. And guess what? The *&%%* thing weighs me heavier than the old one did. I've been struggling and struggling to get and STAY under 190. I FINALLY get back there and the dang scale breaks so it looks like I'm back up at 192 again. Intellectually I know I'm not really re-losing the same ^(#(&@( pounds again but emotionally that's exactly what it feels like. Like I'm in that Groundhog Day movie and everytime I get to the moving on point, everything flips back again.
I am really, honestly, more discouraged than I've been. I was supposed to really use this challenge to push myself and instead I'm doing WORSE than I was before. What's wrong with me? I'm not going to quit because that just guarantees I'll regain. The good news is that even if I did 'quit' my tastes and eating habits have shifted so I don't even know what 'quit' would mean. Then again, I'm sure I'm just a few naughty meals away from the place I used to be always. Ugh.
So I guess my weigh in will show a gain for sure even though I've lost. I'm feeling cheated. It's irrational but I'm feelin' it all the same.
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