I am right there with you! Unconditional love from my husband made it easy to focus on many other things and let my weight go.

I also would like to share that during my annual physical during this time, (as I had gone from 142 to 164 in two months) I asked my doctor about weight gain HOPING for him to remind me that I have a diabetic father and that I need to get it together. He told me I was fine. Doc and I STILL argue about that moment.

I am going to try to break mine up today. I shoot for 40 mintues of cardio each day, but somewhere around 25 mintues, the little one runs out of patience with my being on the treadmill. I am going to do 20 in the morning and 20 this afternoon. My kids only get 60 minutes of screen time a day, so that fits nicely and gives me the other 20 to mop and whatnot.

I agree with both of you, except it was more of, Why I got fatter...

I started BC as a sophomore in high school due to some irregularities with TOM. Before my senior year I had gained 50 lbs! Which skyrocketed me over 200. When I met DH in 2003 I weighed around 225. He and his mom were some major fast fooders, and I fell right in with them. A combination of that and NO exercise put me at my highest of 274. I was good during pregnancy and only gained about 21 lbs. Most of that came off right after DS was born. So here I am today fighting the fat, and almost 40 lbs lighter! I cant wait to get under 220 when DH can see a me he has never seen before!

"Why am I fat?"

There are a few reasons. Both of my parents are morbidly obese. In fact, the majority of my extended family is at least overweight, and about half are diabetic. We're a Southern family of farmers. We eat a lot ... and a lot of it is fried. It was rare that we would have veggies that weren't fried at a meal. I vividly remember my grandmother feeding us macaroni and cheese and biscuits or homemade chocolate cake as an after school snack. No one ever thought twice about it. That's the way my parents had been raised, and that's the way they were raising us. Food like that was always around, and, to be honest, I don't think that anyone thought for a minute that they were feeding us anything that could be bad for us.

Couple that with the fact that I was a kid who was more than happy to sit in my room reading a book instead of going outside to play or participate in any sort of sports team. Plus I was diagnosed as hypothyroid when I was in high school. Now you've got a situation where it seems pretty inevitable that you'll end up with a 250+ pound kid by the time college rolls around.

It wasn't until I was out on my own that I even put forth effort towards losing weight. And when I did, it was successful. I wonder today why my doctors or the school nurse or someone didn't say something when I was a kid. But, to be honest, it was a small town in South Carolina. The doctors and nurses were eating the same thing and weren't exactly models of physical fitness.

Now, going home is kind of tough, but my family pretty accepting (even if they won't get on the bandwagon themselves!). I still get funny comments sometimes. At Thanksgiving, I volunteered to bring a fruit and veggie tray to our family get-together. My aunt told me that we didn't need anymore veggies because we already had a green bean casserole AND mac & cheese. When I explained to her that those don't fall into my idea of veggies, she just kind of said "what ever" and let me do my own thing.

Why am I fat?

I always blamed genetics, my mom is heavy, but studies show that only 30% of our weight can be accounted for by genetics. (Can't find the link to the study)

I was thin and fit until about 23. Then I started working evenings and spending a lot of time in bars, eating bar food and Taco Bell at 3am. No exercise to speak of. I packed on about 40 pounds (145), got married, quickly got divorced (4 month, seriously), gained 20 more (165) and decided to go back to college. After classes I would walk in the park for an hour, and I lost about 20 pounds (145). Then I started working the midnight shift at a Customer Service job, completely sedentary, lousy sleep schedule, and not great eating habits, gained the 20 back (165). Went to days, started walking again, lost the same 20 (145). Moved to Florida, gained 15 from being homesick, even though I was on a low fat diet (160). My car died a premature death and I couldn't afford to replace it so I began walking to work, and lost down to 150. Then I met DH. DH doesn't exercise, didn't eat right, etc. We ate out, a lot. Yes, the sex burnt off some calories, but my new lifestyle, combined with a new car, led to gaining 15 pounds back in the next year before we got married. To DH ice cream is love, every trip to the gas station he brought back ice cream, or some other treat for me. After we got married, I gained/lost a few times, but no significant amounts. In 2006 I was up to 175 and then the breast tumor led me up again (185) and car wreck led me to an new high (200.5). In December of 2006 I decided I'd had enough of this and began dieting again with renewed enthusiasm. I lost down to 187 by May and them took the summer off, the day after my birthday (8/20) I began the South Beach Diet and started walking again. I'm now down to 172 and I walk uaually 5-6 days a week and I've recently started running. It took me a year to lose roughly half of what I want to lose, I'm determined to be at my goal weight by December.

My first major weight gain was when I was on Norplant, and when I had it removed, MOST of the weight came off. What I found with that increase was that hormones put weight on me in really weird places. My upper chest? It was bizarre. I will never use hormones of any kind again.

I had a 'practice marriage' in college too!

Hi Bluesers!

As of today, we are mid-way through our first week. How about an update?

Out of 56 Bluesers, 8 of our teammates have weighed-in. So far, we have lost a total of 18.7 pounds!

That is an average of 2.34 pounds per teammate! Just think, if all 56 of us lost 2.34 pounds, our team would lose just over 131 pounds this week.

Hi ladies & John -

KrispieD - Congrats on joining the gym! My fiance and I go together and it's really nice having him there to motivate me. Plus, he likes to show off in front of me by lifting really heavy weights so it motivates him, too. The nice thing about going with your partner is that it pushes you to go on days you wouldn't have otherwise gone.

Amber - I was wondering what we would do if there were two ladies with the same name and how we would differentiate them. . . and lo and behold. . . I was one of the culprits! Such a popular name. . .

Victoria - I've read a lot of studies about how getting enough sleep each night promotes weightloss. So, get your zzzzzzs, girl!

kgood - No, I meant a nap for you. I figured if you got him to bed you could grab a couple winks, too. Unfortunately kids work to their own schedule. That, btw, is an adorable picture!

Rhonda - What is "steel cut" oatmeal? How is it different from regular oatmeal and where do you get it? Do you just add hot water? You write about it very often so I'm quite curious.

Okay, so now it's time for my confession. I have been VERY OFF PLAN since Friday. Today is now Wednesday. That is a lot of off plan days. Yesterday I was doing very well and on plan. My fiance was having a business meeting at Joe's Stone Crab and he promised to bring me back some crab legs for dinner. I did very very good in making sure that I had the appropriate calories set aside. However, by 10:15 when he wasn't home yet I went ahead and ate my day's worth of calories and then some because I went into binge mode. Then he came home with the crab legs and I ate them, too. . . Uuugh.

I have gone to the gym, but that does not make up for my poor eating these past few days. So, not all is lost and it's back on the wagon for me. I just feel bad because I fear I won't have a weight loss for us for the first week. I have REALLY got to kick it in gear, though, because I'm going shopping for my wedding dress in a week and I want to be back on the losing end of the scale before I go.

So, that's my confession. I at least have been getting some exercise in, though not yesterday. I'll be back at the gym tonight.

As far as why I got fat:

I think I have two reasons. Number one, when I can't find something to do I boredom eat. I like to keep myself occupied and running for food is something that works. But, moreover, I like the satisfied feeling that being full gives me. I like to eat and eat and eat until I get that full content feeling. I don't feel content if I'm sitting at home by myself doing mindless things. I think that I've always gone putting so much pressure on myself regarding what I *should* be doing or what kind of person I *should* be. I can't push those feelings out of my head. When I binge until I get that full-satisfied feeling it brings me instant gratification and momentary happiness. I'm concentrating on that happiness and not my unhappiness of all of my failures. Hmmm, "heavy" stuff. Haha, pun intended.

In all honesty, I have a serious eating disorder. I just can't stop eating once I start. I CAN'T be left at home. Sometimes the second my fiance shuts the door to walk the dog I'm running to refrigerator finding something to sneak in before he gets back. On Monday I ate 3 skinny cow ice cream cones in a row. Last night I had 2 big bowls of cereal. Then I had 2 Luna bars. Then I had another bowl of cereal. I initially stopped after the 2nd bowl of cereal because I called my Mom and it got my mind off of things. Then, after about an hour of keeping myself occupied I went back to the food.

I'm the girl at the party that never leaves the snack table. I could stand there all night. I will eat half the pan of bean dip. No one else does that. Not even the gigantically huge people. But, I do. I stand there and eat and eat and eat. I don't have an off button. It is a miracle to me that I weigh what I do. I should weigh so so so much more.

So, I have this problem and I've known about how seriously bad this problem is for a few months now. But, knowing about it is not enough to get me to stop. I will string a few good days together and then I will slip up. I ALWAYS slip up. This is why the weight loss is taking so long for me. This is why I fear that I won't get these last 12 stubborn pounds off of me by my wedding date. I don't have the confidence because I haven't found the "cure." I'm so frustrated. I know that there really isn't a cure, but just stopping is much much easier said than done. The only answer I can think of is to install a padlock on my refrigerator and have my fiance lock it up when he leaves the house.

I wish there were answers.

I have the same problem with money, too. Sometimes I get this feeling of unsatisfaction and it's momentarily satiated if I go spend a crapload of money on some luxury for myself. Two nights ago I dropped $425 at Target. It wasn't all for me, but buying things for others makes me happy, too. I caught myself last night shopping on Nordstrom's because I had a $15 gift certificate. By the time I was done I had $526 worth of items in my cart. Thankfully I did not hit the checkout button. The items are still in the cart, though. It is amazing my credit card debt is as low as it is.

Amberelise- Wow, it sounds like you have a lot to struggle against. Those kinds of complusive behaviors often require professional help. It really is a lot to try to conquer alone. With your low debt load, you will want to keep that.

One of the most valuable things that I have learned is to stop with SHOULD and replace it with COULD. "I should stop eating" becomes "I could stop eating". It gives you the sense of having something on which you can take action instead of implying judgment. I use this with my kids all the time. It gives me a sense of power over the situation.

HTH.

Those are some great numbers already!

Hope you all are having a good Wednesday!

I'm nervous for my weigh-in Friday since I went off plan last weekend for my sisters wedding. I didn't journal my food, tried to keep a running tally in my head, but didn't have numbers for all the alcohol, so quit counting. Excuses! Pathetic, really, after all the hard work I've given to this for 6 weeks now. So eventhough I've maintained, that's not the point right now! I do tend to lose in chunks though. I'll weigh the same on the scale and then bam, one day I'm down 3 pounds from the day before and then I sit there for 4-5 days. I'm actually shocked when I see a little loss from one day to the next to the next. It's wierd how our bodies are so stingy to give it up! Holding out hope that the scale will be nice to me on Friday!

Ginger - maybe I missed your answer, but do you have triplet boys?

Dionne - glad to hear that your swelling is down! How'd WW go?

Melissa - kudos to you for doing what you need to do for yourself now. I can only imagine that you are an angel for your little girl! I've worked in pediatrics for years and I always say there's a something so special about families with special-needs kiddos. A special and unique bond.

Amber - you've moved 14 times???? Wow, that's rough! Are you where you want to be now? We've moved 5 times in the past 10 years and finally are in a nice area, close to a great elementary school in a good district. Olivia will not be in school for 2 years still, but that's what we were thinking this last time we moved. Housing is soooo expensive in Seattle right now, but you gotta go where the good schools are. I thought that was interesting about the site you mentioned that says that people who eat 5-6 small meals eat more than those who eat 3 square meals a day. I eat many small meals because I feel better that way and because if I wait too long between meals I tend to overeat at that meal because I'm so hungry. It'd be interesting for me to try the 3 meal plan now that I'm counting calories and a little more in tune with my body.

Karen - Aiden is so cute! NAPS! UGH! My oldest (who just turned 4 in November) quit them around 2, but luckily, my youngest (who is 3 in April) still loves an afternoon nap. If I'm exercising at home that day, I do it when she's napping.

Marianne - I went and read that article in the NYTimes...Unhappy Meals. Interesting. A lot to think about there. I've been "trying" to transition to more of a whole food lifestyle. Recently gave up non-dairy creamer, red meat, frozen entrees and "most" of the prepackaged, convenient foods that had been a huge part of my daily food intake...eating food that my great grandparents would have recognized as food. Anyways, the points at the end are great! And these tidbits to0: Cristina - I used to love NB shoes also. I cannot wear them anymore. I don't know what they changed, or if it was my feet changing? Had to switch to Asics.

Heather - we also love PBS.com and starfall.com.

Jordan - thanks for more info. Sounds like you have a great thing going!

Vanessa - I usually have a shake with berries or oatmeal (or other cereal with yogurt) for breakfast. Sorry DS is sick.

Dee - good idea about breaking up the exercise. Also, HOW do you limit your kids to 1 hour! I cannot manage that. I know the AAP recs for tv/gaming/computer, but I work at home and I'm sorry, but I have to work! If the girls had their way I'd be doing projects with them all day long. Which is great fun, but... So the girls do watch probably 3 hours a day right now in wintertime. When the weather is nicer they go outside for longer.

I was so bummed that we lost our cable service yesterday afternoon - through this am. So I missed BL and don't know what happened there. I even went to 24 Hour Fitness last night at 8pm and they didn't have it on any of their TV's! Aren't they sponsors? DH was bummed to miss AI.

Why am I fat? Partly genetics, I believe, and partly a disfunctional relationship with food. Both of my parents are overweight and nutrition/exercise wasn't emphasised/important at all growing up. I got fat in 3rd grade, then slimmed out a bit as I got taller, but I was 160-180 all through JR high and high school. Then in college I gained up to 210. I also started emotional binge eating at this time and joined a gym. I'd often put away 2-3,000 calories in a binge and become physically sick. Then to punish myself I'd withhold food and/or go to the gym and exercise for 3+ hours a day. My form of purging. I had rules about my binges though. Like you Amberelise, I'm a closet eater/binger, so I didn't EVER do this in front of another living soul - unless someone was watching me stuff my face in my car after driving through 2 drive-thrus. Unlike you though, I wouldn't eat at a buffet table/party/event. So, when you say you eat more than the fat people at a party, you don't see them at home later than night! Then when I was 26 I met DH, at a gym, no less, and after 1 year together I'd gone up to 284. And he went from 190-240. Before we got married I went on my first official "diet". I lost over 100 pounds and then over the course of the past 9 years gained it all back to the pound. On November 28, 2007 I weighed 284 once again. It is do or die this time. Some of the saddest days of my life were this fall when I started breaking my binging rules of never doing it in fromt of anyone, and would binge in front of my 2 little girls. They are little and I don't know how much of it they saw or noticed, but it scared me. Since having children, and rarely being all alone, my binging was VERY rare. Rock bottom was one day in November when I had baked homemade cookie with them and we baked 3 cookie sheets of cookies. When DH got home the girls were all excited to tell him they'd made some for him and we had a plate with a couple cookies on it for him. Later that night when he was looking for more cookies, I lied to him and told him we'd only baked 1 sheet. Just like a drug addict hiding the truth. I felt so horrible. And angry that food has this kind of power over me.

Wow I started this post like 2 hours ago and have been up and down from the computer - so now I'll hit submit!

Oh, yeah, Amber, I have a spending problem/addiction when I'm not eating also. I actually gave DH all my cards the other day so I don't order stuff online.

MomTo2 - Thank you so much. Reading everything you wrote made me feel so much better because I know that I'm not alone. Now, I'm not saying that I'm happy you have the same problems, but at least I know I'm a little more normal. I could totally see myself doing the cookie sheet lie. In fact, one time my roommate in college made this huge pan of potato goodness. I'm not exactly sure what it was but it had a lot of cheese and sourcream and cream cheese. Anyway, I ate the entire pan. THE ENTIRE PAN. So, I then took the pan and put it on the kitchen floor turned upside down. When she came home she thought the dog pulled it off the counter and ate it.

As far as the credit cards, I froze all but one of mine. I put them all in a ziploc bag that I filled with water and away they went. They all have $0 balance. Now, the one I keep in my wallet is a different story, but it has a max so I am very very careful to not max it out. So, instead, I work a TON of hours and get a huge overtime check and then I pay off about $1,000 on the card. Then I go on a shopping binge and put the $1,000 back on it. So, I'm not making any progress on paying it off!!! The good news is that I'm still managing putting money away for a new condo and my credit scores are great. I used a forum support at creditboards in order to get all of that under control.

And, no, I am not done moving. My lease is up this fall and I'm hoping to buy a place and stop moving for at least 7 years. I'm praying this fall will be my last move. That won't be the case if I don't keep that spending under control, though.

Morning everyone!

I think this is going to be a VERY low or no-loss week for me. I have been sleeping terribly because DBF is back on night shifts, and I don't lose if I'm not getting enough hours or good enough sleep. I'll just keep working on things, and hope for an improvement

So... why am I fat? A LOT of reasons, mostly involving a combination of too much love, too much laziness, not enough saying "NO", and not enough stress management.

I've never been super thin. As a teenager, I was curvy, about 160lbs, and super fit. I danced from 4-16yrs old, played softball every year since I was 5, played basketball from 14-18 yrs old, etc. I walked everywhere - home from school, out with friends, everywhere.

And then I moved to Vancouver for university. In my first year, I lived in residence, with a cafeteria. The food was gross, so I ate a ton of junk. My friends and I were lazy, so sports were mostly out the window. We partied a lot, so I was taking in too many calories from alcoholic drinks, too! Sheeeesh, what a mess. To top it off, my boyfriend and I were adjusting to being in a LDR, which made me emotional and led to me eating more! I left at the end of the year at 188lbs (a 28lb gain in under 1year).

I moved back home for 4months after 1st year, and my mum and I started SBD together. I lost quickly, and got down to around 170lbs. SBD was NOT good for me, though, and really messed me up mentally.

After that, I moved back to Vancouver and have lived here ever since. I lived with some girls for a year who had completely disordered eating, and that rubbed off on me. Slowly, I gained and gained. In Jan 2007, I bought myself a scale, and was SHOCKED to find that I weighed 209lbs. 200lbs had always been my "no no" weight, and I cried when I found out I had gone over it. I started calorie counting on SP, and lost 11lbs quickly. Then calorie counting started making me mental, too, so I stopped.

So that brings me to Jan 2008, and I've been fluctuating between 196-201lbs since October. I took the remainder of 2007 to take care of myself, and try to recover from my messed up mindset. Now I'm working through Best Life Diet slowly but surely, and I'm determined to make 2008 the year that I get rid of this extra weight, and return to my previously fit, happy, well-adjusted, nourished self.

Ginger – I’m glad you’ve found something to spice up your workouts!

Kristen – Congrats on joining a gym, and great strategy to think of the team while you work out!

AmberD – Aww I’m glad you are enjoying fostering; I had friends who used to do it and I always loved it when they got a new litter.

Ashley – I’m sorry you had a rough day, I hope today is better. It’s all so much harder when you’re sleep-deprived, eh?

Karen – your little guy is SO CUTE!

Heather – I have no idea about new threads; last challenge we just had one per team that lasted the whole challenge, but it was NOT this busy! How did the 5:30 workout go this morning?

Jordan – The names will come in time, don’t sweat it!

Cuppa – I loved Jillian’s “sweetheart, don’t drink your calories” comment too. Glad to see you check in with us!

Bev – Congrats on getting your cardio in, even though you weren’t keen on it.

Rhonda – Aren’t you LOVING the chat this year? Congrats on more working out, and fitting a glass of wine into your day!

Maggie – Okay the hoooping is cool enough, but the fact that you can move it around is so neat!

Cristina – Look at you GO with the exercise!

John – So you’re going to get a workout in today and check in later, right?

Vanessa – Aww I hope your little guy feels better today.

Roni – Nice to see you popping in here, girl!

Pam – don’t apologize for writing novels in here! We’re all working through this together, and that means supporting each other when we need to vent/let something out/explore something tough.

Anna - I totally understand about being fat because of love. My DBF has a metabolism that sounds like your DH’s! He can eat anything and not gain weight, whereas I think about a cupcake and put on a pound.

Kelly – 145minutes of working out! Nicely done!

Kimberly – That your DH hasn’t seen you below 220 must be so motivating and exciting for you!

scgirl – Good for you for bringing healthy choices to family gatherings, even in the face of your families’ comments.

dee – I’m surprised by that 30% figure about genetics and weight – part of me feels like that’s too much, and part of me feels like it’s not enough!

Ambere – DON’T feel guilty about your weigh-in this week, however it turns out. You’re getting back OP, and we have 11 more weeks after this for you to bust out the losses for us. Your comments about all the “shoulds” really hit home for me – I feel that way often, too.

That does help a lot. I will store that in my mind and the next time I'm in binge mode I will try to tell myself I *could* stop eating.