Good Morning, Coaches.

So many of you are echoing my thoughts. Nationalparker's and curlyjax's struggles on their trips. Gardenerjoy saying she is tempted to quit posting because the scale creeps up. I feel the same way. Here is a post that spoke to me being ten pounds from goal: "Odysseus almost got home years before his actual homecoming . . .he was actually so sure of getting home he lay down for a snooze . . . Then his men opened up a symbolic bag of wind that pushed them back over all the leagues they had already travelled. Resistance knows when we are just about to beat it. It hits the panic button and slams us with everything it has." That is what I feel is happening. I have travelled over all this place before. Here I am back again. Oh well. I must remember I know how to lose weight.

Good morning coaches,

I woke up this morning after a really good sleep thanks to 1/2 a Costco sleep aid. I didn't remember it was Saturday and turned the coffee on at 4:10 a.m. So I was at the trailhead and hiking by 6:15. Hiked my Bell Pass hike and felt like I was flying since I didn't have a backpack on. It made me feel so motivated. I was even thinking about how I can get my strength training in again. I have been horrible on getting to class for a LONG time. We just all have our trouble areas and ups and down for sure. I was very careful with my food plan yesterday but did have one beer. I was down a pound this morning, but still above ticker. Even that pound feels better though because it's all in my lower abdomen.

I'm going to finish the ironing in a minute while watching "Mile, Mile and a Half" which is a John Muir Trail documentary. I've seen it before, but now that I have a plan again I'm really interested to see it again.

GardnerJoy We all have struggles, the same ones over and over for me. I hope you'll keep posting. You always have such good ideas. I know there have been times for me that I felt my notes said the same thing over and over, and maybe they do, but I don't think you guys care. Write whatever helps you and we're here to support you.

Nationalparker What about thinking about stress eating during a very busy week, you think "I won't have time to eat". If you have time this weekend to plan as well as possible, maybe it will help during the week. At least that's what I'm hoping for. And you know what, I think I'd kill the person that brings in the donuts.

Curlyjax I have had problems with posts too on occasion. For me though, sometimes I push the preview post button and then forget to push the submit reply.

Bill If you lived in Arizona you wouldn't have to put your summer clothes away. I wear them so much of the year that I just kind of pull out a few winter things for December and January.

Lizardnumbers Hope your breakfast out this morning was good, both tasty and fun. I love breakfasts out and it doesn't happen very often.

Waving to everyone else and hoping you all have a great weekend!

Good afternoon, coaches! Hope you are all having a productive or relaxing day according to your "to do" lists.

Just got a call from a mom who wants me to go with her to take pictures of her son at Prom. I don't have a dog in the race anymore, but sure do like seeing the girls dresses. And thankful that God gave me two boys! :) We'll go out for supper afterward and, credit, I have looked at the menu online and found and entree that will work with calories left.

maryann...thanks for the post. Been years since I read The Odyssey. Sometimes feel adrift and helpless to reach the "shore". But all you coaches are such an inspiration. Keep posting, good and bad, because we are all there with you.

Better go find my tiara. Will it work with my jeans and birkenstocks?

Hi Coaches!

Funny, I, too, actually thought about discontinuing my posting here this past week. My life is so cluttered and unpredictable. There are so many days that I have a life plan and something happens and I have to spontaneously switch gears. It's difficult for me in several ways. First, it is frustrating and sometimes depressing to have to leave what I want to do and go do something else. Second, when I commit in my mind To post here regularly and I don't then I feel I am not living up to my own commitments.

There is a sabotaging thought in that, even when I can legitimately justify my actions.

So I get down to my own personal truth. Right now I'm tired of dealing with all this extraneous stuff. There are days when my eating is not as good as it could be. Even so, on those days I can honestly evaluate and acknowledge my eating is not as bad as it could be. I have participated in this forum for almost 7 years now. My average is over two posts per day during that entire time. I have also read many many posts in this forum of people who stopped posting and waiting and to regained all of their weight. Still, they came back and started over.

Today I will give myself credit for all of my participating here over the years. I will continue to give myself credit for not ever giving up. I will continue to weigh myself daily. It takes only 15 seconds and it serves several purposes. First, it lets me know where I'm at today. Second, reminds me of where I came from. It is also a daily reminder to me that my process still matters despite all the extraneous crap I have to deal with many days.

It's been a busy week for me. I put in two extra days at the restaurant and accepted an invitation to a concert in Denver (Pentatonix) with my sister Thursday night knowing it would mean I would only have 3 to 4 hours of sleep before I had to get up and go to work again. I didn't go with her because I was a people pleaser or couldn't say no. I went with her because I acknowledged in February as I sat in the surgeons office with her it's super important to me to go out and do the fun things with her as long as she's able. And we had fun. I got back up and took my smoothie to work and made it through yesterday without any problems. Credit. I came home And took a nap, setting my alarm for 6:45 PM so I could go to my Friday AA meeting.despite not wanting to get back up, I did anyway.

So, today my lovely job was to go up and clean the rental we evicted the tenants from. They left a bunch of junk, a couch, and a large wooden crate. Before leaving the house, I listed both the crate and the couch on the local Facebook garage sale site. Somebody came and disassembled the crate and took it away. I hauled all the miscellaneous junk to the dumpster. I found someone to take the cushionless couch which would have cost $35 to deposit at the landfill. I enlisted the aid of my loyal neighbor boy who has his driving permit and was more than happy to assist. He had a friend with him so we loaded the couch and took it to its final destination. I took the boys to lunch at my restaurant which they loved. it's the local hang out. We all had burgers. I asked for mine with A dry bun and plain fries which saved many grams of sodium and fat. I sat with my friends and we all enjoyed our lunch. It's nice to acknowledge to myself that I am a good person and that two 15 year-old boys with driving permits would enjoy helping me and could make time to sit down and eat lunch with me.

Even though I just wanted to scurry out of the house this morning and get this over with I took some time to think about my day. I made my smoothie to take with me and I consumed it while at the project. I drank water before I left. I weighed, recorded my weight, and finished my five minute weight routine before leaving.I tossed a bag of pretzels that was left in the cupboard at the rental. Every single positive action keeps me headed in the right direction. Even when the right direction seems like a stand still.

I did accomplish one super fun thing this week although it was a physical challenge. I got my little greenhouse started. I moved big bags of soil and got the raised beds filled. I repotted all my little starts and got it all organized. I have baby bok choy and Swiss chard sprouting from seeds. I have kale, parsley, tomatoes and basil purchased from plants at my organic greenhouse. I still remember the talk I had with myself last summer. Debbie, if you buy this greenhouse now and get it all put up it will be ready and waiting for you in the spring. So glad I followed through.

So, I may not be here every day right now, and I may not always get to personals, but I will get on the scale every day. I will read posts every day. And I will post when I can. I think I am also going to try to focus on gardenerjoy's strategy of shorter more frequent posts

Hmm, The wind has started blowing and it's raining. I just heard my first crack of thunder for the year. The seasons are changing. I need to go out and shut the end of my little greenhouse. Take care everyone! We all matter.

Good evening coaches! Pretty good day today. Only ate part of my breakfast - credit to me as I ordered some not too healthy choices but I stuck to my plan and had a small amount of them. Then had a small lunch, but didn't do as great at dinner. Credit though for no sweets today. Working on meal plans and scheduling this weekend. Read Arc cards.

Curlyjax I was having trouble posting last night, got an error that my token had expired but then it worked the next time. I've taken to copy in my post before I hit submit when I've written a good bit.

Gardenerjoy I certainly hope you keep posting! I find that posting helps me daily because even if I'm struggling I think about telling all of you about it, which at least slows me down at times. And I always learn something new to try from hearing of how your day and everyone else's day went

Karenrn my breakfast was really fun, thanks! It's a precious little place we go, and we don't get to go often so it's well worth a little food temptation :)

Lexxiss so much credit for posting here for so long! I hope to be a long term resident here, and I think just showing up and posting is a sign that you're still making progress. And helping motivate others too :) the rental situation sounds exhausting, credit for dealing with that today. And the greenhouse sounds just wonderful!

April has been a soul.searching month.
 

Coaches
(Using phone. Forgive weird punctuation!)

Completely totally forgot.to.weigh this.morning and was.flustered with my food tonight. Yesterday I made a foodplan change in that I would.not do intermittent fasting everyday for two weeks. It's too hard on me as.after.trying it for two days when I finally got to the time of day to start eating I panic ate shoving a.bit of this.and.that (all OP but that doesn't matter) into my mouth before I even made my meal. The behavior came from the holding back. Two days I was OK. Day three no. So I will only do this experiment 2x a week which from what I have read will still give me the benefits that sound good.

But today I was just weird with the Art show on and the brand new artist who joined me at the last minute. I find I am not willing to put myself out for her the way I normally do. Oh, my streak of people.wanting to feed.me.continues as.she invited me to her.place anytime and she will "cook for me Iranian and Indian food. Anytime. Drop.by." very nice and kind but she will.want to stuff me. Everyone wants to feed me.

We had a lot of crackers out for guests at our show. I'm fairly indifferent to crackers. I actually did well with the food during.the day.but was.weird when I got home. I felt kind of sad and lonely at the show as she received.gifts of flowers from her.visitors. she got a.lot of flowers. It's an Iranian custom that I saw.with a other.Iranian artist last year. She also sold a few.things and I didn't and probably won't. My show though looks good. Like I mean it. I am very happy with my work. But its still tough. I will bring some work to pass the time.tomorrow.

So when i got.home i developed wicked cravings for offplan sweet things. Dqy 2 of that nonsense. Last night DH came around the corner with his black cellphone in his hand.and I was sure he bad a bar.of chocolate there. Wow.

I forgot to weigh this.morning too. Very preoccupied with the show. Tomorrow it's over.
I will weigh in the morning but I don't feel good about it. Whatever. We keep going.

Gardenerjoy: I have been here 8 years. I did.not lose really anything over the past.three years and in fact gained esp after my brother died. In that 8 years I gained over 40lbs, some of which is gone. Only.now.am I beginning again. You, everyone else here, never made me feel unwelcome, or.hopeless or like I had.nothing to offer. Indeed Beck would.rather we get.it right, with her plan, with our plan, with a plan. It's inclusive.and gentle yet structured, much like you as.an individual from what I can see over here. I do not know where I would be without this space. It's never been a bad.space for me and I sure hope I never.made it a bad.space for anyone over the years. Sorry to anyone if I did.

I guess what comes to mind with your struggle.is perhaps you need to change your focus and simply measure.something new. Look at your issues.from.a.different.angle. what can you count/implement that would.be.new? All this food stuff gets tiresome. You are creative. Change it up. And yes, you'll still have to grind through it. Me too. And everyone else as well. I would miss you if you left. But if you need a break I'd get that too. But there's really nothing better out there...!

Have a good night.

Sunday - IBM Personal Computer launched (1981)
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walk, CREDIT moi, included stopping at the local hardware store to buy a light bulb using a $5 off of $20 purchase Loyalty card. This introduced a challenge. The needed bulb was a five inch globe for the hanging lamp over the breakfast table: $6.99. Two (so I'd have a spare in the basement for next time) would be $13.98. I could stop there, or I could buy something I didn't need that costs $6 which I would effectively get for $1. Naturally, I had to find something that I needed. I ended up choosing a pair of new mouse traps that can be set with one hand and aren't likely to break your fingers. (We don't have mice now, but they'll be back.) When I get to be a billionaire I wonder what I'll do with such cards.

Food was OK. Dinner was a vegetarian dish so I feel healthy. DW and I watched the DVD Erin Brockovich starring Julia Roberts. We felt pretty modern since it's a year 2000 movie. I'm running this morning - off to an early bird walk.


onebyone – It's a super place in life to be where you can say, "I am very happy with my work."

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Sorry you're in the "snacks too large" club. I do hope you'll keep this forum as part of your busy life. You're such an integral part of us.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – I hope that you will also choose to remain a part of this forum. It's possible to make short posts when the busy is just too much. Super Kudos for recognizing that life with your sister is important enough to suffer the sleep loss.

maryann - Thanks for "Resistance knows when we are just about to beat it." Odysseus sure understood trying to meet a goal.

nationalparker – Stress eating is so insidious.

Karen (karenrn) - Neat that you feel so light when you take the backpack off.

curlyjax - Yep, my post was lost yesterday, but I've long ago learned to keep a copy in a Word file before I hit [Submit].

Prairie Chicken - Always neat to look at the menu online before heading out.

lizardnumbers - A small amount of "not too healthy" works - Kudos.

Readers -

Morning everyone!
Credit for not eating last night after dinner when I was hungry- the first time in a long time!
I found some CBT affirmations to deal with anxiety etc and repeated them yesterday when I started feeling blue- “ this is just a feeling, it will pass” and “this is momentary, things will feel better soon”.
Credit for lots of housework which made me feel good to see actual results in a short amount of time.

Sending encouraging thoughts to gardener joy and lexiss- huge credits for posting here for years and continuing the journey! I echo the others that i hope you do continue to post when you can. We have all felt discouraged at times and can certainly relate to how you’re feeling. I hope this forum continues to be helpful, and selfishly I would miss your posts! I love that we all come from different areas and really enjoy reading about everyone’s life, in addition to supporting the beck process.
And huge thank you to Maryann, Nationalparker, onebyone and Bill for also being such long term posters. you have kept this forum going and I am so glad to have it!!
welcome to prairie chicken - love the avatar!
Lexiss-I remember a photo of that greenhouse- so glad you did it!
Onebyone -I thought of you last night as I started watching the film “Mr. Turner” - its a bit weird but i appreciate the glimpse into the art world of the 1800s.

Mornin' all. Can I give myself a "half credit"? I had reviewed the menu of a restaurant to which that I thought we would be going, but ended up at different place. Credit for opting to grilled chicken salad rather than the steak my cohort was going to order. And she ended up getting a grilled chicken salad as well. BUT she ordered appetizer of artichoke crap dip thinking I would share with her. UGH!!! I abstained for the most part; crab and artichoke are two of my favorite food groups! But limited myself to 2 dips...and they were small dips. Yay, me!

Prom dresses. Wow. I am from the Gunny Sax era...this is no longer the case. I am sure most of those dresses cost more than my wedding dress. Once again, glad to have had boys; you order the tux, flowers, & limo...boom, you're done except for waiting for them to get back home. With all pieces of their rented clothing.

Farming is in full swing. Corn is popping up; one of my favorite sights. Wheat is starting to head. Severe weather forecast for Wednesday; hopeful that there will be no wind or hail damage. Individual machinery that costs more than my house are insured, but we have plenty of things to fix and repair without help from mother nature.

Yesterday went a long way to get things shaped up around here. Even got out in the front garden, which I've put off for awhile. Elbow/tendons were so painful last night, though, I spent much of the evening icing and keeping it tucked against my side. Was finished up around 7 and showered and checked with DH - dinner at home or out - what was his druthers... home. Have to do marketing today, so had limited options since I'd not thawed anything out. Ended up prepping a pan of various enchiladas - bean/onion, leftover turkey taco meat/black bean, cheese/bean, etc. Used up leftovers and each one wasn't that caloric! We each had two and split two servings of rice into three and were set. I'm always happy when I can come up with something that tastes like it wasn't just thrown together when it was. :) OP yesterday bc of activity.

Have gotten two hours of office work done this morning and will take a break and get back to it this evening. We have GOT to mow today and I'm dreading it with my elbow. I'm hoping DH feels up to it ... I can try to edge.

GardenerJoy - I can completely feel where you're coming from ... I felt like I was typing in the same ole "report" - struggling to be on plan, fighting it, not finding my mojo to make the choices that I know I need to make. I'll echo everyone else - we love seeing you check in. Your response cards are so helpful to so many of us. I know I just don't DO them... I think them. Not working. Would it be more enjoyable to check in here and "report" on a few other things? Your exercise achievements? You're ON THAT! Your day's high point as far as what was the best thing that happened to you ... or what you're especially thankful for that day - be it a supportive DH, an especially restorative shower, or what have you? Then using those as motivators - I'll get x done and then take that shower. I can think of what I'm trying to express much better than what i'm actually saying here. This morning I did NOT want to get my office work done, but it's too much time at night and I get behind (data comes in all day/part of night) ...I LOVE a hot bath. I also think that's a waste of time on a Sunday morning! But I'm running a tub now - I "earned" it and it kind of resets my mind to take care of ME. You got me thinking i can do another salad for lunch today, too - thank you. My last romaine head. DH will not want that, so I can make a VERY large one and be filled with veg. Sorry to go on.

Aiming to add more personals later...

What got me motivated the last time I was struggling was a desire to improve my sleep. Good sleep habits have gotten away from me, again. I'm getting through my days on adrenaline or I'm crashing and doing a bunch of nothing. At the moment, though, the best thing I could do for that has nothing to do with food -- I need to get bed earlier! Staying up too late has much the same self-sabotaging feel as eating too much. A weird "I don't care" impulse that I find hard to answer at the crucial moment. I do care. I care about myself and I want to gently guide myself to an earlier bed time.

Thanks for all the encouragement to keep posting and for the resolve of others like maryann and Lexxiss to keep doing it, too! Thanks for the advice to think about this more creatively, onebyone. I'm not feeling very creative at this moment, but I'm going to keep that in mind.

WI: +0.4 kg, Exercise: +15, 735/1000 minutes for April, Food: NA op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

For those of you losing posts: what works for me is to compose my post in a notes program, then cut and paste it from there. That also makes it easy to keep my one-line template going from day to day -- it's always sitting there in my note program, waiting to be updated.

Good morning coaches,

Credit for food and exercise yesterday. I didn't feel quite as energetic this morning, so I took a walk instead of a hike for 90 minutes. Food is planned and if I stick with the plan it will be good. It's cooler and a little breezy here today, so that's nice. Cooler as in the 80's.

Dh is going to golf in a little bit. That will be 3 days in a row, which is unusual but oh how he loves it. I'm not sure what my plan is, but I think I'm going to do a little reading from a Pamela Peeke book, Fit to Live, which I read once in a while. I'm always looking for new ideas for nutrition.

GardenerJoy My biggest motivator is my hiking/backpacking. I know that I can't keep up with what I want to do if I gain weight or quit exercising. I always try to keep a trip to two on the horizon so I just can't slack off. One of the hardest things at my age (62) is to find people to do these activities with. I know my life is out of balance, but one day I won't be able to do as much activity and then I'll get more balanced.

Prairie Chicken I only eat real food. At this point, I don't even use protein powder. One of my things is that I only eat my calories, unless it is alcohol. I really don't even drink juice for the same reason. Call me weird, but I guess we all have our things. I actually like lots of fruits and vegetables and I'm always looking for new ones. I try to stay away from all pre packed foods and do most food prep at home. I do eat Cliff bars or Kind bars occasionally while hiking or backpacking, just because they are easy to carry and don't require refrigeration. Believe me though, I have tried plenty of pre packed or diet foods in the past. I guess one of my sayings for everyone else is, "Whatever works!", and that changes for each of us.

NationalParker I hope your elbow is better today. Sounds like you got a ton done yesterday and boy do those enchiladas sound great. I love any Mexican food, kind of like I like any pizza or potato. I hope you get a little relaxation today.

Maybe more personals later, I'm too hungry to keep typing. Must fix lunch.

Debbie I envy you and your sister going to Pentatonix. Both because I like the group and I miss my sister. We did so many fun things together and she actually moved near here from Atlanta when she retired. Grab any opportunity to enjoy a beloved sister.

Karen Thinking of the enjoyment you have hiking. Remembering the wonderful former years and so glad we didn't post phone going to the mountains for vacations camping. Even only one of our 4 kids still hike and enjoy roughing it, all of them learned so much that the city dwellers never even suspect exists. Bet the really early morning hike was especially good.

CREDIT: Deliberately walked past candy on sale at drug store, and purchased NONE of it. I was planning on getting some, but when I ask myself what I want most, it was not candy.

We had fun time with GGS and his 3rd birthday celebrating Star wars with his family who are such fans of anything star wars. I enjoyed watching the adults as much as little Anthony with their excitement over the many toys that have to do with the move. DGD and I had extra special time together. I'm so fortunate to have had her around all 25 years of her life.

Yesterday we went with family to the mountains of West Virginia for a Ramp Festival. Interesting items for sale but the books on Mushrooms and one on cooking with Ramps came home with us. Oldest daughter and her husband were with us and we 4 enjoyed a day outside in drizzle. We've had almost no rain for weeks, but our day outside had windshield wipers taking the midst away. Fog covered almost everything. Met some old friends, caught up on thier lives.
Home before dark and very, very tired. Pedometer shows we did a lot of walking and we know we did some standing as we visited, too. Food was fine. Temptations passed up CREDIT.

Sandy

Good evening coaches! I have enjoyed reading your posts so much and I hope that you all have a wonderful week ahead. I'm trying to plan for success and get my work week started off on the right foot. I set my alarm clock on my desk, which a fresh glass of water beside it and a note to drink my water and read my morning routine. My plan is to walk on the treadmill and then go through the rest of my routine. We shall see how it goes. I did however spend some time writing down a schedule that included exercise and time to eat, and tomorrow I will continue to work on that and try to plan on diet related things for a week. Am also reading ahead to the next day which is make an exercise plan, so I guess I am starting that as well. Walking on a treadmill sounds pretty dull, but it's been something I have been able to do consistently in the past and is something I can mostly convince myself to do when I am half asleep. My goal is to do something more energetic eventually, but baby steps. Hoping for a calm and organized week ahead. Today went pretty well, I gave myself credit for making pretty good choices food wise, and got outside and worked on cleaning the interior of my car which and taking a short walk also.

Monday - Hubble Space Telescope deployed (Low Earth Orbit, 1990)
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Did our bird walk, CREDIT moi. The Yellow-rumped Warblers are back - it's a tad early for the others. We saw three Mute Swans flying over and were quite happy that they kept going past our water. They destroy the food source of the many diving ducks that we enjoy.

Food was OK - CREDIT moi for that. For some reason the warm, joyful day led to the notion that an afternoon snack of walnuts was a good idea. DW grilled dinner's chicken outside as if summer were here. Which reminds me that I have to fill the propane tank before it runs out. Or I could buy a second tank so a full backup would always be ready. When I own a ten acre place in the suburbs the volume of stuff won't matter.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – I know this weird "I don't care" impulse - it's so counter to the me that really does care.

nationalparker – LOL at "I'm always happy when I can come up with something that tastes like it wasn't just thrown together when it was." Hope those elbows and tendons get under control.

Karen (karenrn) - Just one of the best nutrition statements ever: "I only eat real food."

curlyjax - Such a powerful thought, “this is just a feeling, it will pass.”

Sandy (love2garden) - Had to look it up to remember that Ramps are a wild leek. Wish I'd been there. Super Kudos for ignoring candy on sale.

Prairie Chicken - If shakes work for you, that's terrific. Kudos for enjoying them despite the MLM setup. I love getting to read the sentence "Wheat is starting to head" - it's not a phrase I know.

lizardnumbers - Planning your week in advance is such a Beck-like strategy - Kudos.

Readers -