insidiousness
 

Coaches, good evening.

I skipped out on weighng myself this morning. That's two days in a row. The reason? I don't want to see a scale number over 250 now.:devil: has me in its grasp:mad:

I haven't tracked my points either and I had another, new, :devil: thought while at the market today:"YOU don't have diabetes so YOU can go ahead and have the ______( insert all mnner of over-the-top-farmers-market-sweet thing here).
Wow. My brain has processed DH's diabetes into a "phew, you sure dodged that bullet--go celebrate" or "phew you sure dodged that bullet. Thank god that shoe has dropped. Now go eat whatever you want. You deserve it. You're doing so well."

Man. What a devious inner sabotager I have. Its VERY well practiced.

I had what I planned to have while at the market. *credit* but had too much after I got home from the market, a fiull meal, my first of the day, and then later snacks found foraging through the cupboard (some addictive groundnuts).

In reality, which is why it's so good to write this food stuff down cause I will mis-remember it every time, I have stuck to my plan and not overeaten according to how my stomach feels after my meals. I have been active as well. But I need to see this objectively, not just carry this around in my head.

Obviously the DH situation is only just starting to affect me which is par for the course with me. I always get a delayed reaction to crisis. I'm good during the event and right after, it's when the crisis has truly passed that I mess up--hence my "persist in victory" slogan. I have been victorious, I don't want to wreck that with uncontrolled eating. I need to live with my victory.

Bye for now.

Quick check in once again,
Thank you all for your suggestions and support. I tried the site Lexi mentioned and I think it will work for me, I also came to the conclusion from all the posts that writing it down with a pencil and paper is a great way to do it also. Now I have two options that I think will work for me. Also I realize from your posts that it may be better just to stick to the same foods each day, until I feel that I am not on that out of control wagon. I don't know if you all realize how lost I would be without you all.
Thank you for being here and all the positive suggestions you offer.
I needed your support and you were all there.
Thanks for being my coaches.
Hugs to everyone struggling and congratulations for all your successes.
I had a great day on plan, just busy, good busy though.
Take Care
Have a great night.
Ann

Persisting doggedly along this path, despite the feeling that tomorrow's weekly recorded weigh-in will look like a setback compared to last week. Even on Atkins induction, I have to prepare my mind for a mere pound per week loss.

I made myself lift weights before getting lost in the day. Made a fresh blueberry pie with berries from the farmers' market. Bringing it to my meeting tomorrow figuring if my talk doesn't go so well, I can still leave a good impression!

Onward! spanky

Hi Coaches -- missed you during my work week Tues thru Fri, but I did get more sleep that way. Was making myself get right to bed when I get home at 2:30 a.m. I pulled another 16 hour shift on Friday, but I planned my food ahead and pretty much stayed OP except for a foray into some kettlekorn. But I had a few handfuls, and the next person that walked into my area, I gave him the paperwork he needed and made him take the kettlekorn with him (credit). He had been stuck out in the heat working and looked grateful to have something to snack on.

I'm down to 276 on the scale, so am happy about that. I have fallen down on exercise this week though after the foray into the pool. So that’s what I need to increase. There is a Challenge on 3FC called "Fall Back to Basics." It's the Biggest Loser Challenge that is held about 3 times a year on 3FC, and it is fun and motivating if any of you are interested.

Also about Beck book, and Advantages Cards – When I am doing best OP, I think it may be because I’m using the “BECK FIRST” rule – which is this: I don’t read the paper, turn on TV, Play WWF with my sister, read email, come to 3FC, nothing of that kind UNTIL I’ve read my Beck book and Advantages Cards first. THAT being done, it gives me motivation and focus for my day. I write in my Beck book, and at the top of each Day, I put the date when I read that day. I’ve fallen down on that this week so am going to get back to BECK FIRST!

BBE -- congrats on finding the home for that wallet. It would have made a good documentary!! My son and his friend returned a wallet last December and there was a problem at the house, looked like a possible home invasion, and they ended up having to back away and get a ways away and call police. You said, "Food doesn't cure tension even when I really really want it too!" So true, so true. I'm glad you wrote that -- it's now a response card in my card binder.

Mary Contrary – Welcome back….missed you and glad you are back with us. Now I have a new definition and attitude about “procrastination” -- just a tactical delay! Heh heh. You have had a lot going on. I’m like that though, an overwhelming rush of emotions at times. Hmmmmm just had a thought: “Maybe the only thing we CAN control is food.”

Newlifestyle(ann): Hi sweetie – Olive Garden was tasty. Had 1 and 1-2 bowls salds, one breadstick, and that chicken apricot with veggies thing that was only about 290 calories. That was my main meal for the day. I agree with you about packing food to work, it’s the only thing that gets me through. I look up stuff on Lifestrong quite a bit. I do use Fitday for calorie counting though. I have played around with the program for years, but since starting on Beck have used it more than all the other years combined. I can do it on my phone, laptop, or online and then sync them all, and I like that.

Tazzy – pic of Dexter is precious. You are right about keeping Beck book IN sight at all times. I used to go to WW, and had this big book holder thingee that is blue, my pink Beck book fits in there perfectly on the right side, and then on the left side fits my Advantages Card binder, pens, highlighter etc. Easy to throw in my work bag -- the prob though is to remember to take it out when I get it home.

Naturegirl – Very good that you “spent an hour in coffee shop doing Beck stuff, planning listing, reading.” That’s great, and I think essential to consistent Beck success. You mentioned a fast and good workout….can I suggest kettlebells? They have a 20 minute, and even a 10 minute workout, and because it uses the whole body, it’s a good workout to fit in to a busy life.

Nelia – Welcome back. You did the best Beck thing in the world….you got back on track. CREDIT, and good for you gal.

Soonfit – I see you’re hanging in there. I hope I haven’t lost track, but I think you have been on Beck now for 2 weeks and have started your diet?

Onebyone – Congrats on the 248.5 – oh my gosh, I haven’t seen 250 for so long, and you really encourage me by knowing you got there….try not to worry about the “bump up”….remember that the scale is only information (judy says so!)….try not to let 251, etc. scare you into sabotaging you off plan. (I’ve had that happen in the past). Also CREDIT for your major decluttering project. Sounds like you are taking care of house Clutter and BODY CLUTTER both!

Beverlyjoy – I paid attention to your remarking you have a “official weigh day”…..it made me realize I need that. – and credit to you for losing 2 more pounds – Judith says “celebrate each half pound loss” so that means you get to celebrate 4 times! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! And I’m looking at 60 also. A great motivating factor for me is that even though I’m 276 pounds and 60 is looming ahead, I can still be a better 59, and a better 60 by sticking to healthy eating and exercise. I’m glad you think so too, and you’re right – “It’s never too late.” It's never too late to lose BODY CLUTTER!

Gardnerjoy – I read your explanation of monthly exercise minutes, and I’m going to start doing that too. Think I’ll stick it in my signature or something. Thanks for the information and great idea.

Joyce68 – Welcome to BDS thread. Beck is wonderful, and the coaches on this thread are wonderful also. Beck works when we work it....there is a lot of work to be done to change bad habits and build new healthy habits. Beck teaches it day by day. I am being more successful than I have ever been before because of BDS, and every day I work with my Beck materials, the more I learn, and incorporate into my new lifestyle. Keep posting and best wishes to you as you start your BDS journey.

MaryAnn – I’m going to check out the Dr. Furhman plan. I saw him on Dr. Oz. He is very enthusiastic and very knowledgeable about nutrition. Best wishes on your thesis writing.

Lexxiss – you said, “I have one more food event to negotiate before my sister leaves…” Oh boy that hit it on the nail head, that’s what we do – we negotiate through complex food events and food choices, and BDS gives us tools to do that. By using BDS, we negotiate successfully. Before BDS, I was always losing those negotiations.

Spanky – glad you’re going to be alright, sounds like you had some scary medical event….take good care of yourself.

Dear Coaches …..(looking around)….I hope I haven’t missed anything….notice some of us are having some struggles….as we see from of the stories about the Olympians, sometimes it is our struggles that define us.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh it’s good to be caught up on the thread!!! I missed you guys during the work week, but it’s always comforting to know you’re here….

Sunday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Eating was one snack away from on plan - Ouch and CREDIT moi. I had urges all day to go get more so I'm satisfied. Gazpacho on the patio for dinner - happiness. Discussion turned to England of the mid 1800's when Europeans first learned of the gorilla. (In their view, it was 'discovered' then.) Kinda exciting time to be in England when the ships kept returning with new species from around the world which didn't fit into existing views of creation, Garden of Eden, and Noah's Ark. Charles Dickens was releasing Bleak House in twenty installments and everybody was reading it. No wonder that Rowling knew how to release the Harry Potter series.

Exercise was a walk, CREDIT moi, past a park with multiple baseball games and a soccer game active. Good summer day.


onebyone – You have the most creative Sabotaging Thoughts, LOL. I know "addictive groundnuts" - from the same level of h*ll as addictive treenuts.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yay for two days OP - cheering for three.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Hope you navigated the French Restaurant - it's the family event part that would be my challenge.

Beverlyjoy – I know that challenge of wishing food to be part of the fun yet avoid the slip into "not caring." Only thought I have is to religiously write it all down and plan to review it at the end of the day - using the awareness of the review process to help fight the "not caring."

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Yay for "busy, good busy" with Kudos for doing that on plan.

Elizabeth (Elizabeth779) - Gotta love it - you can have your paperwork if you take the kettlekorn, LOL. Whatever it takes. "BECK FIRST" is a super idea. [Your DS's story is scary - did it turn out to be a home invasion?]

spanky - Kudos for "Persisting doggedly" despite the negative projections about today's weigh in. Love the thought of a blueberry pie as backup to the presentation - hope it goes well for you.

Jaye (Jaye68) - Ouch for the disappointment with the too-small bike, with Kudos for resolving to continue with your older one. At times my older bike feels new again just by oiling its chain. In the olden days, an Original Coke was part of every afternoon. I thought I craved the caffeine hit, but now I think it was the sugar hit that I was hooked on. Poland Springs sparking waters worked for me for a few years until I've drifted away to plain tap water. And Kudos indeed for navigating the Chinese Restaurant.

Readers -

Third day in a row of 100% and the scale finally went down instead of up!

WI: -0.25kgs, Exercise: +60 485/1400 minutes for August, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Jaye68: I finally weaned myself off soda in March. It took going cold turkey. I had reduced my soda intake over the years by increasing my water. But I was never able to eliminate it until I just decided it was time. I did it on vacation which is a little counterintuitive but a friend of mine had done it that way a couple of weeks earlier. Since my routine was all broken up anyway, it turned out to be easier to quit when I was away from home. I drink tea for caffeine in the morning, iced tea when we eat lunch out, and water, otherwise.
I can't say the cravings are fully gone. I was doing pretty well, but since the mold count went up a week or so ago, the cravings have returned with my allergies making mornings difficult. I'm going to try selzer with lime slices and crushed mint leaves. Maybe that will add a little sparkle to my mornings.

onebyone: I can definitely relate to being good in the crisis and then letting things fall apart in the aftermath.That seems like the kind of thing we can get better at, once we've identified the problem. Knowledge is power!

Newlifestyle: sticking to the same foods every day works great. Dr. Oz calls it automating your meals and suggests doing it for every meal and snack before supper.

DH to onebyone: Have some salad. It's good for you.
 

Coaches

So, DH says to me last night, "Have some salad. It's good for you."
:rolleyes:

True enough that I was content with eating only the ribs I made in the oven. After 21 years, he knows who he's living with. And yes, I couldn't have given a fig for the salad. But then he brought it out, all made and everything, and I ate it. And it was good, but it grates my nerves to all of a sudden have a DH insisting on eating for health. He's super-annoying in that he dropped all the cola, all the sugar, and now walks every night, consistently. I feel a little less than and I guess it's exactly right when compared to him....

What I *know* about me is I am a food addict. I'm a compulsive eater. I don't ever drop anything easily or take on any new behaviour easily when it comes to food. I always thought DH was a food addict too. But like the excessive drinker, who stops drinking when the Dr. warns him off of it, or the "social smoker" (I've know two: my mother who only smoked with her teenage kids-us-and her brother, and my grandfather who gave up his pipe in his late 70's when the Dr. told him too) who gives it up and never looks back, perhaps this is DH's true state of affairs and not the messy food obsessions that I negotiate daily.

It gives me pause and reminds me not to "compare my insides to anyone's (his) outsides" as the 12 steps programs warn. Translation: how someone looks and appears is not necessaily how they are feeling and vice versa. I need to remain focused on my own stuff and keep working my own program re: food and be GRATEFUL (so very very very grateful) that DH is doing so freaking well. He is really awesome.

I'm off to the garden now. I keep seeing folks walking, jogging, riding bikes out there. I need to face the garden's weeds in the last three areas and tackle them before the rain comes back. I hope to bring home some tomatoes for tonight's salad.

*credit* for weighing in and seeing: 251.8 (+3.3):sumo:fie on you you ridiculous number.

Back later.

Hi Coaches!

I'm working on getting back into a "post project" routine. I folded laundry, dressed and weighed this morning while coffee was brewing then enjoyed quiet time on the porch. It was great...my sis texted inviting me for an early bike ride to Sbucks. I was all ready so I talked back to my saboteur who was telling me to just stay home. credit. I returned home feeling great that I could "keep up" which was my concern since bike riding has been not so regular this summer. (My sis is a triathlete) Credit moi!

onebyone, your post brought alot of emotion up in me. You are not alone...my DH did the "overnight" transformation very similar to your DH. I have continued struggles with my food addict. Gratitude gratitude gratitude! Perhaps a card....mine will read, "Despite worldly agitation (DH) I am grateful with my entire heart that we are on a parallel food plan. When I feel the agitation I will look at what I can change in myself".

Must run now….Bistro Vendome awaits us. I have a plan.

Sunday Interlude
 

Lexxiss It helps to hear I am not alone in managing the emotions around a DH who *seemingly* has just instantprestochango become a health-focused individual with no aching gnawing desires for their past way of life. Oh Well. I too am trying to focus on my daily routine vs. the Deadline/Crisis/Stressful Event timeline. Thanks for the reminder to keep going with that too.

gardenerjoy Kudos for 3 days 100% OP. It's always good to see yourself get right back on track.

BillBlueEyes I would have loved to enjoy gazpacho on your patio and discussed the era of scientific discovery and big time curio cabinet usage. Image the collections that began then--never seen as clutter or hoarding in those days--just signs of wealth, status and priviledge. Will you have a clear night sky to see some of the Perseid showers tonight? It's too cloudy here :( Congrats on your persistance with the wallet btw.

Elizabeth779 I signed on for the BLC Fall Back to Basics-- the one you mentioned in your post. I hope to get some encouragement to move more for a reason beyond myself and my health. I seem to need that sometimes. Thanks for posting about it.

Jaye68 Credit for so many credits! Great job.

spanky Just the other day I had "the feeling" that I too would be heavier than I hoped. I was doing that fortune-telling thing Beck talks about. Turned out I was wrong. It's such a great thing to be able to disconnect our feeelings as the driving force behind our food and food choices. How I feel is often irrelevant. It's a primary reason to plan the food. For me, as an emotional eater, I will make irrational choices in a snap second that I may have to live with for weeks -- like in the past when I would mindlessy eat "snacky things in family-sized bags" for instance. Kudos for getting your weights in.

Newlifestyle How was your day? Part of what I have seen here over the years I've been persisting with BDS is that every single person has had to work things out for themselves: food plans, which may change and shift over time, boundaries around their food and food behaviour, keeping in touch/reaching out/finding a level of support from outside of ourselves that is comfortable--whether regular lurkers, or posters, or private messagers, and always always always coming back and trying trying trying until we find our own authentic way to do this weight loss and then this maintenance thing. What the BDS system, to my mind, ultimately does is allow us and support us as we find our own way, cobbled together from all the vast mountain of tools and possiblities out there in the world that we may have tried or others have tried, until we find that combo that works for us--knowing we may have to change it later on BUT also knowing that we can make changes confindently and knowledgably and we do not have to lose ground as we do all that.

It's quite the toolbox even though I thought the whole Dr. Beck thing too simplistic and too much like a "OMG I know all that already" and I also thought it bor-ing. But I think now that being so basic makes it so very adaptable and just cause something is simple, doesn't make it easy. And who says I have to be "entertained" and not bored by my food choices/food plan? What does that have to do with anything except be an "in" for my :devil: sabotager... Hello?

Whoa newlifestyle, sorry for the long rambling post. I just know you are truly getting it as you struggle to find what's best FOR YOU. Kudos.

Have a great Sunday Becksters.

Hello coaches.
Did I ever mention how much I appreciate you all. I think I am back on track.
I slept in and as soon as I woke up I walked on the treadmill. My food is now automatic except for dinner which I have made a plan for. I leave for work in a few minutes so my meal and snacks are planned. Thanks again for all the wonderful support that you do offer. If I say this too much I apologize. I just felt so out of control and it is such a relief for me to be back on plan.
I can't wait until I am back to posting personals to everyone else. One step at a time. Thanks for not giving up on me and showing myself I need to not give up on me. I need to make time for that relaxation tape as it helps me stay relaxed. Sometimes I take on the problems of the world even though they are not mine. It is a learning to do what I can and make a difference where I am able and to understand that I am no good to anyone else if I can't function for myself....yikes.
My DH too take a task and can just follow through with it, such as giving up coffee or walking every day. Maybe it is just how the male brain is wired. It doesn't seem fair but oh well.
I gotta go as I want to walk to work.
Have a great day, and thanks for helping me get back on track.
Take Care
Ann

So BBE, you mentioned that it was great my daughters get along so nicely? Well, they like each other so much that after pizza Friday night, they all took off together to the youngest's salsa dancing group, and DH & I drove home alone to an empty house :/ But everyone was back together Sat am, and we spent the day on the river in a raft and leashed inner tubes. Lots of laughter and sun.
As far as eating, pizza and beer was a blur after a very OP day in the city picking them up (and walking 3 miles in sunshine, BTW) The raft trip was good because the food we took was healthy and there weren't any 'bad' choices, except for when I "accidentally" confused a diet grapefruit soda for a Bud Light Lime, but if that only happened once (really!) and it was light beer, not too bad for 4 1/2 hours on the river, which is amazingly tiring considering you are just laying there basking in the sun and drifting along. For dinner I had on hand the ingredients for a taco salad bar that all diet types (gluten free, vegetarian, low cal, no onion, etc) could enjoy, and was similar to an old favorite from their childhood so it did that comfort food thing without involving gravy or lots of melted cheese. Today a family bike ride is planned when it gets cooler, and this morning only two indulged in Dad's famous french toast ( the two who wear sizes 4 & 6!) Dinner is an open question - I better have my Beck skills ready. By then we will have a SIL and three more dogs around. Craziness that I will miss like crazy on Weds when it gets quiet again!
DD#1 & I are committed to not undoing all of our hard work in this one weekend!a
I am attaching a picture of my three beautiful daughters last August at DD#2's wedding.

Happy Sunday Afternoon!

Dh, DS and I are up in Tahoe for our anniversary. 11years. I am so grateful to have found DH. He is a terrific husband, father, man.

OP for today. Ordered salad last nite with dressing on the side and it came tossed with it. I did not send it back because the restaurant was so busy. It tasted terrific and I ate half of it. In a couple of days it will be three weeks on plan, God willing. I am two pounds under ticker. It is nice going back to work having gained no weight this summer. Last night I ordered a cupcakes in celebration, ate about a third of it and gave the rest to DS.

Who is this person eating?

Naturegirl: DS is 10. I enjoy every minute with him because I know the house will echo with his laugh when he moves out.
Elizabeth: Good for you putting "first things first."

Wave to everyone else.