I'm so exhausted that I'm practically falling asleep on my keyboard. Walked about 6 miles today, after going to the gym with my niece (the one who is pregnant--she does water aerobics every day!!). Then we all went out to dinner at Macaroni Grill. They were short-staffed in the kitchen, and it took a ridiculous 3.5 hours to eat dinner, so we ended up getting our dinner for free! Just got back (at almost midnight) and am about to go to bed. Hope you get your connection issues resolved and are doing well!

I got kicked off twice in the process of trying to edit this post, so let's see if this works. Just wanted to let you know that I will not be able to check in tonight or tomorrow night. Tonight we are going in to the city for a Mets game and will get back very late, and tomorrow night I will be on the road. Hope you have a Happy July 4!

I'll be interested to hear if you find cooking shows interesting or boring! :)

How fun is that! Man, it's been hot here, too. Losing power in this heat is no joke, and from what I hear some folks are still without it.

They asked our realtor if we'd be willing to come down about 10% on price, but we weren't -- we had figured if we could get top dollar without having to do any of the prep we'd normally do before putting a house on the market, great, we'd consider moving, but without that incentive we aren't really ready to move. I was getting some pushback from the kids, too, after they'd thought about it for a while. :)

That's what I wondered!



It's just for 24 hours I have to keep from getting it wet or doing anything that could shape it, like putting it behind my ears or putting a clip into it. After 24 hours, you wash it, and then it's back to normal.

Glad you're having a good time!

Report: weighed (up 2.6, ack! I'd been chugging along at 2.9 under for weeks!) but I deserve it -- went to a party yesterday and ate pretty badly, then came home and had a wine-induced snackfest. Oh, well. Back on track today. Went to class Monday but had a small injury (felt like a muscle pull in my knee that feels fine normally but hurts in certain exercise positions), hoping it is healed by Friday when I go back.

We seem to have connection again on and off, so hope this goes through. Hope your trip is still going great!

Sorry I missed checking in last night. Life is rather sucky at the moment. I stayed an extra day to try to mediate a family crisis. Very stressful and upsetting. Then last evening when I got home, I got bitten by a neighbor's dog and ended up going to StatCare for a tetanus shot and antibiotics. Not the kind of calm homecoming I was needing and hoping for.

Hmmm, it sounds like you may be experiencing some ambivalence or second thoughts, too. It's not surprising that the kids would, after having some time to think it through.





Interesting!! So, can you just immediately style and shape it exactly as you want it, and then have it stay that way long-term? That could be very useful! :D



Hope your weight is on its way down again and that your injury is healed.

I have not yet weighed myself. I got a LOT of exercise while I was gone, but also went to two parties, had numerous restaurant meals, AND a lot of stress-induced snacking at the end, so I am guessing that the net effect on my weight will be a gain. Time to get organized and back on track again.

Sorry to be in such a pissy mood. This, too, shall pass....

OMG! Sorry about the family crisis! And you were having such a great visit! Is it anything you want to go into? And your neighbor's dog BIT YOU? Has the dog ever bit anyone before? I'd feel I had to put a dog down if it ever bit anyone for fear the next bite would cause serious harm.

I'm totally ambivalent! :) I love the idea of living in Hyde Park -- it's just COOL there! -- but I hate the idea of leaving my big private yard. And we're finally approaching the point where we've got the house where we want it after fifteen years of remodeling and a major addition. And since we're already in a ranch, we could theoretically live here for the rest of our lives. The kids being reluctant to not come home to the place they grew up, at least while they're still in college, plus the fact the offer was probably on the low side of what we could probably get for it if we put it on the market just makes the timing definitely not right.

Until the first haircut -- second if I tell him just to barely trim it for the first -- I'm wash and wear. And no frizziness, even in this humidity we're having!

You and me both. I've been using you not weighing as an excuse not to weight either. :) Yeah, not really productive. I'll make a definite point to weigh tomorrow!

Not at all! And yes, it shall pass. Hope today was a better day!

Val

Thanks for the offer, which I really appreciate, but I am too tired of dealing with it to try to explain it all, even though I know you do a spectacular job of helping me process things. As for the dog, my neighbor hasn't had the dog long, so she doesn't know its behavior all that well. It's just a little thing--mostly dachshund, I think. She was holding it in her arms when it bit me. When I went to StatCare, they told me that, by law, they have to report the incident, so now the dog has a "record", which I feel bad about.

Yep, you're ambivalent, all right! Sounds like you were just testing the water and found the water not to your liking! If nothing else, the timing is clearly wrong, which undoubtedly means that you should stay where you are for now.

My hair is naturally straight as a stick, but it's so humid out that even MY hair is curling and frizzing a bit, so that must be one powerful process you get!

I weighed yesterday and was horrified to see that I was up 4 pounds, but then today I was already down 2.8, so I'm up 1.2 compared to before I left on my trip. I can live with that. And I walked 18 miles today in addition to having a personal training session. I would imagine that preparing for the Komen walk will take off the 4-5 pounds I want to get rid of.

It was spent mostly walking (and thinking), but it was a good day. After walking all day in the sun, I am incredibly tired and suspect I will sleep like a baby. Tomorrow my bathroom floors are both going to be replaced. YAY! And Wednesday morning, I get my storm door installed.

Oh, and yesterday, I spent the entire day with John. He came to my church (and heard me sing). Afterward, we went out to lunch, then took a walk, then came back to my condo and hung out and talked for a long time. I'm still totally ambivalent. Not him, though. Like I think I told you once before, the avid and eager expression on his face when he looks at me reminds me of the way my cat used to gaze with rapt attention at my pet rats! The more he flatters me, the more uncomfortable I get. ACK.

Hope you had a good day today and that you got on the scale!

I wouldn't feel bad. Biting is unacceptable in a dog. There's a reason they have to report the incident: it's because no dog should ever get more than one second chance.

I would think so! I weighed this morning -- 2.2 under goal, so yay for that.



Fun! I've spent the last week finally decorating my guest room, which up until now has been furnished with hand-me-downs. I've decided to list it on airbnb (a sort of couchsurfing site that I find fascinating and have booked two lodgings thru myself, one in August when we take Jane to college and another in October when we go out for parents' weekend) and the photo I took of it just made me realize what a dreary room it's been. So I've been madly purchasing at Ikea, figuring their inexpensive furniture is perfect for a room that's only used a handful of times each year. If by some chance it starts getting more frequent use through airbnb and the cheap Ikea stuff starts to show the wear, the room'll be earning enough to pay for sturdier furnishings.

I so totally empathize. I had a friend who did that to me. But it made me like her less because she 1. thought I was susceptible to flattery, which I flatter myself I'm not <g> and 2. herself equated flattery to friendship. The more nice things she said, the more I felt as if what she was really saying was, "Give ME some compliments so I'll know you like me as much as I like you." And I suspect I could be the world's most incompetent flatterer. I can just FEEL my offness -- facial expression, the way I hold myself, tone of voice, everything. I can't even believably say, "Oh, you too!" in reciprocation of a compliment if I don't actually feel it. I can lie better than I can flatter! :)

GRRRR. I had an entire post all typed out and then got kicked of the site before I could submit. Sometimes this site makes me gnash my teeth in frustration! Anyway, today someone from the Health Dept. showed up to QUARANTINE my neighbor's dog for 10 days, which made me feel really bad. But I guess I should be grateful that they are looking out for me.

YAY indeed. I sense that you were not expecting such a good outcome!



I've never heard of this concept before. So you are saying that you can charge people to stay in your guest room without having any kind of license or anything? That would scare me a little, both from your perspective and from the guest perspective. I'll be interested in hearing how that works out.

Oh, THANK YOU! I think you just helped me figure out at least part of the reason for my discomfort. The reciprocity norm demands that I return an equivalent degree of flattery, which I can't honestly provide, so that leaves me feeling that the interaction is unbalanced. I definitely think that he is trolling for reassurance that I am as into him as he is into me, which I resent. And I suspect that the rest of my discomfort comes from believing that men who flatter women expect even more than reciprocated flattery in return, and that makes me feel manipulated. What I still can't figure out is how much of my discomfort is from him specifically and how much is just my general fear of romantic relationships. This leaves me caught between thinking I need to extricate myself from this relationship and move on, versus thinking that I'll repeat this same dynamic in any relationship I get into unless I just power through the fear.

report: I was down .4 this morning. Didn't get a chance to exercise, since the flooring guys were here until 5 and then it took me several hours to clean everything up again afterward.

Hope you had a great day!

Submit after each paragraph, maybe, then edit? That way you never lose more than the most recent paragraph.



Definitely not! But the weight was unchanged this morning.





You and me both! There's a lot of safety measure built in -- I don't -have- to rent to anyone who contacts me. If they have no "reviews" from people they've stayed with before, I can just say no. Or if they're brand new to the site, or don't have their facebook linked in, or don't have any references from others who use the site. Various things. Plus airbnb maintains $50,000 damage coverage on all listers. But it's definitely taking a risk! :) The person we're staying with in August has a little cottage out behind her house and an apartment over her garage. We're staying in the apartment in August and the cottage in October. She's six blocks from the college, and is linked through her facebook page, and has numerous rave reviews from people who've stayed at her place, and is an elementary school principal. I've been contacted by two people to stay at our place so far. One was brand new to the site, didn't have a profile picture up, wasn't linked thru facebook, didn't have any references...so I just told her no. The other has two positive reviews, is linked through facebook, and her husband is a scout for the Reds. It didn't work out because of the timing (they need to come in July for a training camp, and we don't want to rent the room until the kids are at school and their bathroom is unused) but I definitely would rent to her if they make a future trip.



And he may just be exhibiting insecurity, since you in fact aren't as into him as he is into you. He may be a perfectly nice guy who, under stress, has a little personality quirk that isn't 100% attractive. :)

How do you like your new flooring? airbnb is sending out a photographer Friday (a service they provide for free) so I'll be able to show you photos of my new room!

Went to class today, yay! Found out Elyse would be on vacation next week, though, so no class all next week. :(

Hope you had a good one!

It's hitting submit that causes me to get kicked off, so hitting it more often would be counterproductive, unfortunately.

Sorry not to get on here last night. I fell asleep on the couch and was afraid to do anything that might wake me up in between awakening on the couch and getting into bed. I slept for 10 hours and am just starting to wake up now.



YAY for that!





Oh, I guess it would stand to reason that there are so many safeguards built in. Score another point for the internet!! I understand the motivation from the homeowner's point of view but am less clear on why this idea would appeal to a potential guest. Why would you rather stay at the home of someone you don't know, rather than going to a hotel? How does the cost compare?




You are definitely right that the relationship is somewhat one-sided, and you could be right about stress bringing out a little quirk. I suspect that I would be looking for flaws in any man who pursues me, because my fear is pretty generalized and overwhelming. And that just makes me depressed.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the new flooring in the kitchen, laundry, and bathrooms (the same primitive, "oak" vinyl throughout). The living room carpet did not make anywhere near as complete a transformation, but it was still worth the expense, since it is much easier to clean when the cat barfs on it. Yesterday I discovered a hidden spot where Callie had upchucked probably two days earlier, and it was still easy to clean. I am afraid to try to attach pictures to this post, given how much trouble I have submitting. But I will email you some pictures.

YAY for going to class!! I assume you are boot-free by now? What else can you do for exercise when your class doesn't meet next week?

I'm somewhat depressed, between the situation with my family, torturing myself over the dating issues, and my concern over my weight. I was up .8 yesterday and up another .8 this morning, and I don't know why. I ate about 1500 calories each day, so I don't get it, but I don't like it. This morning I have an appointment with the oncologist who prescribed the medication to reduce my breast cancer risk. I know I am going to be significantly heavier than when I first saw him 6 months ago.

Today I have a session with my personal trainer and also hope to get some walking in. Will check back in tonight as normal.

Thursday night: Ended up walking over 12 miles today, after my personal training session. I made it a point to try to walk a little faster, and nearly my entire route was hilly, making the walk a lot more challenging. I averaged about 3.2 miles per hour, which I think is pretty good considering the hilliness and the distance I covered. I also did it with only one break. I'm getting more and more confident in my ability to do 60 miles in 3 days. I still have 3 weeks to get ready. And I ate a little under 1500 calories today, so hopefully the scale will reward me tomorrow.

Boy, do I understand! I sometimes read on the sofa when I've awakened at 2am so that if I get sleepy again all I have to do is lie down! :)






Well, for me it's because I've found I experience an area completely differently when I am staying with a local than I do when I'm in a hotel. Our trip to Puerto Vallarta was fantastic -- we were staying with good friends who'd been living there for six months and are very social and had met EVERYONE. We attended three parties in the seven days we were there, and at these parties I met one woman who, if she'd been the facebook type, I would have friended. :) And I've found that the people who do things like this tend to be the types of people I will find extremely interesting. Both the people who have contacted me to stay at my house and the woman who is hosting us in August and October in Colo Spgs sound like fun people with a ton of interests. For instance, yesterday Missy (in Colorado Springs) and I were revising our August reservation. (We're going a day earlier than originally planned.) And during the course of it, as she's giving me the info on how to pick up the key to the little 1BR cottage behind her house, she mentions she'll leave fresh baked cookies. I responded, "If you give Jane sugar cookies, she's yours for life." She said, "Jane won't believe this: I give sugar-cookie decorating classes in my home. It'll be great knowing a college student in town [she lives 6 blocks from campus] I can drop off the broken cookies to!" Then she offered to have Jane invite a group of girlfriends over for a Christmas cookie decorating party one Friday night in November or December. I would never have made this connection staying at the Antlers Hilton -- I likely wouldn't have met anyone in town on any sort of a meaningful basis. Plus we'll be paying about half the cost of the Antlers Hilton for a whole cottage instead of just a hotel room, which means that if John's snoring wakes me up I can go out into the living room and sleep on the couch. And the cottage has an equipped kitchen, which means if I want to, I can cook instead of eating every meal out.

In the case of some travelers, especially young ones who don't mind bare bones travel, it can be hugely cheaper than even a fleabag motel. Some hosts offer a couch or futon or air mattress, let you use their bath and kitchen, and charge $10 a night. It can mean the difference between being able to stay in Paris or Venice or Manhattan and not being able to afford it.

Some of the offerings are fantastic -- treehouses, houseboats, hike-in no-electricity no-running-water cabins on mountain lakes with no one around for miles. Any commercial organization that's running something like this would charge hundreds of dollars because they have to pay someone to maintain it. But most of these hosts just want someone to defray their costs of ownership, not make a profit. So the guest might pay $150 instead of $450 per night for such an experience.

For me, it's also that I'm willing to accept the risk of having a bad experience in exchange for the chance of having an extraordinary experience. I dislike chain anything. Sometimes you can't avoid it -- when I've traveled with the kids, I've often chosen one of the big chains because I know what I'm going to be getting and I know that a bad experience will be made MUCH WORSE by the addition of a teenager having a bad experience. :)




Yeah. It's good that you are recognizing it as a possibility, though. You can consider it really carefully if you're that self-aware.



Got the pix! They look GREAT!



I think I'll try to do some walking, or maybe treadmilling if it's too hot, plus pushups.



What is 'significantly heavier'?



Sorry to miss getting in here! Crazy busy with getting ready for the photo shoot, which is in 2 minutes! Whoops, there's the door -- did go to class this morning, didn't weigh!

Sometimes just getting up off the couch and moving to the bedroom is enough to wake me up, and then it takes me hours to go back to sleep. :(






You've definitely convinced me!! Meeting new people and meeting your need for adventure are definite advantages. And the sugar-cookie connection is downright serendipitous. It's all good!

Lower cost is just another advantage, but it sounds like there would be all sorts of advantages even if there was no price difference.

DEFINITELY some adventuresome experiences--and in a much better way than the two nights I am going to spend sharing a tent with a stranger!

LOL!! So you're saying that, if the kids aren't happy, mama isn't happy. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around!! :D




I had a session with my therapist yesterday, and she is helping me work through it all. But between her schedule and mine, we couldn't find a time for another session until the very end of August, so I'll be on my own with my angst.





Thanks!



Where do you keep your treadmill? (Obviously it must be in an air-conditioned place!)



I was 6 pounds heavier than last time I was there. To me that is definitely significant. :(



That's OK. I gave up trying to submit my post last night, so I missed one, too.

So how did the photo shoot go?

My weight was down 1.6 yesterday and up .8 today. I don't know what is causing all of these big fluctuations, since my calorie intake is pretty consistent. Tomorrow I am going to do lots of walking--maybe 20 full miles, depending on the weather.

Hope you had a great day!

Wait, what? Did I miss something, or just forget?



It's definitely the other way around, too! :)






:( I know you'll get through it.







It's in our basement, which is always nice and cool even when the power goes out! Of course, since the treadmill is electric that doesn't matter so much... :)





But how much of that is new muscle? Are you BIGGER? Or just fitter?




She was kind of a downer person -- long story about how hard it is to find a job with a master's in maritime history even though she sent out 700 resumes -- but hopefully she's a good photographer. It's supposed to take up to 14 days for the photos to get through the process.

We finally got rain here! And the temps are down! SO happy!

I'm off to dinner at arguably the best restaurant in town with a couple of girlfriends. Will try to eat sensibly but I'm not going to miss anything fantastic to protect tomorrow's number on the scale! :) Didn't weigh this morning, up early again! Tomorrow I'll be missing class unfortunately since Elyse is out of town and apparently Giselle is either not available or no longer working there. I'll probably take a nice walk, though, as I don't have too busy a day scheduled.

Hope your day was a good one!

I thought I had told you, but maybe I forgot to. When I do the Komen walk, I have to spend two nights in a two-person tent. And since I don't know anyone else, I will be randomly paired with a stranger. That is definitely the part I am least comfortable with.



Interactions are always a two-way street!






Oh, yeah, I'll get through it, all right--but how well??!







Hmmmm, I wonder if it would be worth hiring someone to move my very heavy treadmill to my basement. It's in my garage, which is miserable in both summer and winter. And you know how short fall and spring in Ohio can be!





I'm a little bigger, I think, but only a little. Some of my clothes actually fit me better now than they did before, I guess because my body is more proportional. I'm definitely much fitter.




Goodness, she sounds like someone who has no sense of boundaries! Is her position as a photographer her paid employment, or is she a volunteer?

We had just enough rain to convince me not to venture out on a long walk, not enough to address the drought conditions.

Hope your dinner was terrific! I do like your strategy of only overeating if a food is something you don't have access to on a regular basis.

It was OK. Weight was unchanged. Ate about 1500 calories. Tomorrow I have a personal training session AND an evaluation with the plastic surgeon to talk about possible Zerona on my abdomen. I'm not sure how I'd fit in a series of treatments yet this summer, though, since I just found out that I am on call for two weeks for possible jury duty--starting the day after the Komen walk. Ugh. Those were the two weeks during which I was going to do the majority of the preparation for the start of the school year, and now I can't count on having that time.

Can't wait to hear about your dinner!

TUESDAY afternoon: Sorry I didn't get pn here last night. I walked most of the day in 90+ degree heat and totally hit a wall. I slept for 14 hours last night.

I had my evaluation for liposuction or Zerona last night. The doctor didn't have to examine me very long to tell me that she would not do either procedure on me, because she thought either one would leave me worse off than I am now. She said I already have minimal body fat (!!!) and lots of muscle (YAY), including abdominal muscle, and what I really have is a lot of excess skin that needs more invasive surgery. She strongly recommended a tummy tuck (which she does not do, so she has no vested interest) and possibly a thigh lift as well. She said that liposuction or Zerona would make the skin problem worse, so that I would have a loose flap of skin on my ribs and belly that would hang down and cause a lot of chafing and discomfort. But she also said that my skin is actually in very good shape, considering my age, the amount of weight I have lost, and, especially, the fact that I've lost 24 inches off my waist. She also said that I am in superb health, that I'd be an excellent candidate for a tummy tuck, and that I'd be really happy with the result. Sigh. I just can't imagine going through all of that. And then there's the cost! She recommended that I see a plastic surgeon (she referred me to one in Cleveland) now for an evaluation, then start saving my money to do the surgery next summer when I have the whole summer to recover. That's a lot of food for thought.

I'm leaving now to meet a friend for dinner at Bob Evans. Will check in again tonight at my normal time.

LATER on Tuesday: Had a low-calorie entree from Bob Evans: potato-crusted flounder. YUM! Had about 1400 calories today. I'm still really tired and planning to go to bed soon. Hope to get another long walk in tomorrow. Hope to see a post from you!

Sorry to go MIA! We lost power again. Very irritating in this heat! You'd think these rainstorms would be cooling things down, but it seems like it's just getting muggier and muggier.

Sorry if you told me and I forgot! I don't remember you telling me about a TENT! Good grief! Are you going to be in a campground, or what? Hope you have good weather and a nice roomie! Yeah, I can understand being uncomfortable with it. But probably anyone who is doing a walk like this one is pretty cool.


Wow, yeah, if mine was in my garage I'd probably use it a lot less often! I don't enjoy heavy exercise in the heat at all.

So maybe your doc will not be at all concerned by a slight gain.

She's paid. We were having a conversation about the space being available because the last kid was off to college, which led to what was Jane studying, to which I said English or Psych, to which she said as long as it's not history, to which I said Michael was studying history, which gave her the opening to complain she'd been a history major and there were no jobs for history majors. I said I figured undergrad was for figuring out what you love and grad school was for figuring out how to make a living. That's where she started in on the worthlessness of her degrees. :) She seems to have wanted to get a job -in maritime history- and was surprised there aren't many. I was thinking well, duh, there are no jobs in history. Or psych, or English, or sociology, or anth, or the humanities or the classics or any dozen other liberal arts majors. But there are any number of people with degrees in history who are working in professional positions. Insisting that she has to work in her degree field is the problem here, not the fact the degree is in history. And her apparent solution was to go get a master's in history, and then stop because there still aren't any jobs. Huh? Who is advising this person? Is ANYONE advising her?

It was fantastic!



Have you ever done jury duty before? Here at least it's mostly sitting in a room waiting, and there are quiet rooms where most people are working on their laptops, etc.





[quote]I had my evaluation for liposuction or Zerona last night. The doctor didn't have to examine me very long to tell me that she would not do either procedure on me, because she thought either one would leave me worse off than I am now. She said I already have minimal body fat (!!!) and lots of muscle (YAY), including abdominal muscle, and what I really have is a lot of excess skin that needs more invasive surgery. She strongly recommended a tummy tuck (which she does not do, so she has no vested interest) and possibly a thigh lift as well. She said that liposuction or Zerona would make the skin problem worse, so that I would have a loose flap of skin on my ribs and belly that would hang down and cause a lot of chafing and discomfort. But she also said that my skin is actually in very good shape, considering my age, the amount of weight I have lost, and, especially, the fact that I've lost 24 inches off my waist. She also said that I am in superb health, that I'd be an excellent candidate for a tummy tuck, and that I'd be really happy with the result. Sigh. I just can't imagine going through all of that. And then there's the cost! She recommended that I see a plastic surgeon (she referred me to one in Cleveland) now for an evaluation, then start saving my money to do the surgery next summer when I have the whole summer to recover. That's a lot of food for thought.[quote] Wow! It sure is! I have a neighbor who had a tummy tuck. She loved the results.



Again, I apologize!

Didn't weigh, didn't work out. Sigh. Had a weird night...woke up at 3:30 to find Jane wasn't home yet. Spent 45 minutes feeling slightly frantic when she finally answered a text -- she'd had her phone turned off because they were at a movie that premiered at midnight.

Hope your week's been good!