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Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: I finally got on the scale this morning; weighed 132.4 (up 1.6 from the last time I weighed, which was last Thursday), not as bad as I was expecting. I made it a point to dress up today so that I would feel better and be more motivated, despite the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep last night (couldn't fall asleep because of the nap I took yesterday afternoon, I suspect). Stayed OP today but am not feeling entirely confident of mys self-control. I am looking forward to getting back to the basic Beck tasks, which I have gradually but inexorably allowed to slide. I'm off to bed before I collapse on top of my laptop. Tomorrow is my last day of class. HOORAY! |
Originally Posted by 4EverLearning: Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Report: weighed (no change, and also no progress!), no exercise today, ate too much pizza last night. I really do need to restart Beck and start doing my cards every day again. :) Hope you had a great last day of classes! |
Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: I guess in the grand scheme of things that's a good problem to have! :) Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: My weight was up .6 today (took me by surprise and made me think UNFAIR!). I had a good personal training session and stayed OP. I went with a colleague to see "Pirates of Penzance" at the campus PAC. It was awesome. And it was so nice to see even the young members of the audience thoroughly enjoying a show that was so old-fashioned and "clean"! Hope you had a better day today! |
Originally Posted by 4EverLearning: Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : This is making me think about my own drinking habits. I need to drink more water. Literally the only time I drink it is when I wake up in the middle of the night. I think I'm going to try to develop a new habit of water drinking. I've developed a habit of ordering a glass of soda water when I order a glass of wine in restaurants and then requiring myself to drink the soda water before I can order another glass of wine, but maybe I should just make it WATER instead. Soda water's really not great for me either. I read somewhere that whatever makes soft drinks carbonated leaches calcium from your system, and I assume that means soda water is the same. I wonder if it's the same for naturally sparkling waters? And maybe I should make it a glass of water BEFORE each glass of wine -- that'll automatically make me drink more water, and it'll make each glass of wine "cost" me more. And if there's any element of -thirst- to wanting a glass of wine, maybe it'll even cut my wine consumption which would be a very good thing. Maybe I should start having a glass of water before every pop and coffee, too. Gah, not coffee. I can face it for the pop. I don't drink that much of it, and since I do drink it because I'm thirsty a glass of water might actually keep me from drinking the pop. But water in the morning when I want hot coffee sounds really unappealing. Maybe I'll start with water-before-pop-or-wine and reconsider it for the coffee at some later date. Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : |
Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: My weight was unchanged this morning. Did no exercise. I saw my counselor, and we had a good discussion. My big news for today is that I have not had a drop of diet soda all day, and it's been a rough ride. My headache is manageable, but the grogginess is overwhelming. I feel like I'm swimming underwater. I actually took a 4-hour nap this afternoon and slept like a brick. I am going to bed now and am not worried that my nap will keep me from sleeping. I can barely keep my eyes open! Tomorrow will probably be the roughest day. My timing isn't great, when I have so much grading to do, but I'm going to stick it out long enough to get a sense of how my life would change, how I would feel, and whether the improvement is worth giving up my "crutch"! |
Originally Posted by 4EverLearning: Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : |
Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: |
Originally Posted by 4EverLearning: Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Report: weighed (no change), ate reasonably. Had a crappy night's sleep AGAIN and skipped my exercise class this morning. I just felt physically ill from lack of sleep. I'll have to take an ambien tonight for sure. Hope you have a less headachey/groggy day today! |
Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: My weight was up to 135 this morning. I'm slightly anxious about that, but not panicking. (I'm probably too groggy to panic!) I've eaten 1500-1550 calories for each of the last three days, so I shouldn't be gaining. I know my metabolism is probably a little slower now that it is not being fueled by a continuous infusion of caffeine (I'm going to wear my Exerspy for the next few days to see), but that can't account for such a big gain. I'm guessing that I've probably been chronically dehydrated for a long, long time and am now normalizing. On a happier note, my constipation seems to have resolved itself. That alone is a HUGE reason to lose the diet soda forever, assuming that is the reason for the change. (It's hard to tell, since I've confounded the variables of decreased diet soda intake, greatly increased water intake, plus I started taking a probiotic supplement the same day I quit the soda.) The other interesting change is that my hunger feels different. I'm still definitely getting hungry, but it doesn't have the desperate, gnawing quality to it anymore, which makes me wonder if I am still ever hypoglycemic. I don't have any more glucose testing strips, which are very expensive (my insurance won't pay for them anymore since I am no longer diabetic). But I am planning to buy a box so I can repeat Beck's hunger-is-not-an-emergency task. I am very curious how that would turn out. I need to get to bed. I have a 7:45AM final tomorrow, along with a mountain of grading, and I am so darned tired. I am really looking forward to Wednesday, though! |
Originally Posted by 4EverLearning: Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : |
Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: My weight was unchanged this morning. I wore my Exerspy today, and it says I have burned precisely 1700 calories today, a little less than I would have in the past, but not a huge difference. Considering that I did nothing today other than sit at a desk, I'm happy. I was afraid maybe my metabolism would have decreased really substantially. I had a completely OP day until tonight, when I had another dessert-fest in response to discovering that my first eHarmony match (Mr. Can't-Make-Up-His-Mind) called me and left a rambling, pretty incoherent message about how me misses me and is sorry he's been out of touch for so long (it's been six or seven weeks since I heard from him last). I went straight to the food after that. Then I got out both of Beck's books and read the introduction to both of them. That practically made me cry, recognizing just how far I have let myself slide in terms of her tasks. I'm very, very glad to be starting over and to be devoting myself to this ultra-important effort again. Tomorrow I plan to do the first four tasks in Chapter 3 of the second book (the first four preparation stages prior to Stage One). Because I have been so sleepy lately, I've gotten behind on my grading and still have a ton to do. But I want to start anyway. I NEED to feel in control again, REALLY in control, not just temporarily getting a grip until the next meltdown. Enough is enough! And my trip is less than a month away now. I hope you had a great day. Tomorrow we start anew! I know it will be just what I need, and I hope it will be of great benefit to you, too. |
Originally Posted by 4EverLearning: Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : |
Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: I had a really nice day today. I was oddly content and anxiety-free, despite weighing 135.8 this morning (ACK) and spending much of the day grading statistics tests, which is tedious at best and infuriating (because so many of the students just DON'T GET IT) at worst. And here it is 2:30 in the morning, I spent the whole evening after choir practice grading, I have to get up early to start grading again, and I'm happy! Weird. I'm sure part of the reason I feel happy is that I went to the gym, and I had a very low calorie day (ate just one meal, along with 3 protein shakes [decided to try your strategy for cutting cravings], for a total of under 1100 calories). And restarting Beck makes me happy, too. Hope you also had a happy day, despite your work at the farmer's market. |
Originally Posted by 4EverLearning: Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : How did you know that about BL -- that they recommend strong coffee, I mean? Is that stuff they talked about in earlier seasons? There seem to be lots of things I don't know that are common knowledge to BL fans who've been watching for longer than I have. :) Like the cases where the light goes off when someone gets eliminated -- someone mentioned somewhere that the cases had their former favorite foods in them, and I was like, "They do? When did they talk about that?" Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : Originally Posted by : |
ARGH!! I had a long post all typed out, and then it went POOF right before I hit submit. This version will be shorter, I'm afraid.
Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: Originally Posted by va1erie: My weight was down 2.2 this morning--a surprise, but a welcome one! I consumed about 1420 calories (should definitely put me in a deficit, if my Exerspy is to be believed) and had a personal training session. I didn't have time to work on any additional prep tasks from the Beck book but will definitely do so over the weekend. I hope by the time you read this you will be well rested! FRIDAY NIGHT (actually Saturday morning!): Hope you are OK! I had a decent day. Weight was down another .4, had a personal training session at which my trainer outlined his extreme plans for my summer "shape-up" (third day in a row I went to the gym-yay me!), had a deficit of about 400 calories according to my Exerspy, did not quite finish my grading in time for graduation tonight but can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow I can start back to reading Beck and continuing on the tasks. SATURDAY NIGHT: Weight was unchanged this morning, had a deficit of about 650 calories today, went to the gym on my own for an hour (4th day in row to the gym, a record for me!). I continued with the prep tasks in the second book. Task Five--I organized my kitchen cupboards and threw out the few remaining NS desserts I had (don't trust myself for now). Task Six--I read all of the memory cards I previously created and put them in my new box, along with a divider to separate them from the new ones I will add this time around. Task Seven--I got together my distractions (Sudoku, bananagrams, crochet supplies, a book I got at the conference where I met Beck last year but still haven't opened, a fashion magazine, a decorating magazine, and a list of websites to visit) in one of my favorite Longaberger baskets. Task Eight--Talk to my family? Can skip that one! Task Nine--Build a sense of entitlement. That's the one where Beck talks about learning to make your own needs a priority instead of always putting others first. My first inclination was to say that obviously that one doesn't apply to me, either, but then I realized that it does, in a way; I may not have a family making demands on me, but I certainly let my work, my students, and my colleagues put lots of demands on me, and I usually respond to those before I get around to taking care of myself. I won't have a chance to work on that one much over the summer, but will use that time to work mentally on getting to a more balanced place prior to the start of the next school year. Oh, and I also made a graph where I can record my daily weight and hung it on the back of my bathroom door. I never did try graphing my weight, but I think the visual record will be helpful. I still have a couple of hours of grading to do tomorrow. I plan to go to the gym again after church. I will also work on the last prep task--creating the initial response cards. I think I'm going to completely scratch my old ones and start fresh, creating new ones. Even if they repeat the themes of the old ones, I think I can improve them and make them more relevant, and the repetition will help me. I hope you're OK--I'm getting a little concerned now! |
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