Sunday wrapping up
 

Evening Coaches

The credits are few today:
-weighed in and saw no change. rare that.
-made a plan for tomorrow to start a new 4 day challenge (my current weightloss plan)
-read my books as reward

I did some weird thing to my right hip/thigh. It reminds me of the spring when I was physically falling apart. It's been worrisome for 24hrs now.
At the end of this week I should be back at the pool. Our finances should cover either the gas to get me to the Y and back for my free 2wk pass or the cost of a rec membership in pools really nearby. I would really like to do bikram yoga but am unsure how the movements, my great weight, my high blood pressure (but I'm on meds for it) and the 115F environment would do together. They offer a 30 day pass for $40. I'm not sur ethis is the best time for me to take on such a physical challenge though. I am getting ready for two studio tours in October, a demo in a mall at the end of the month and then a charity art event in early november plus the 20th anniversary of our first date on Halloween. Lots happening. I expect that the 1.5hr bikram class will wear me out the first week or so. This is not the time I can recuperate at leisure--though I believe in yoga 100%.I don't feel it would harm me. I think it would heal me. But I can only get the $40 deal once. Maybe I should wait until the second week of November when my calendar is looser--oh just remembered the potters guild sale is mid november. It may be more like mid december. And I know if there are opportunities to do some xmas shows with my artwork I'll do that as well, So yeah, sometime in december I can do my bikram yoga if I still want to.

My food continues to be poor to middlin'. Second helpings are happening again. The quantities are large. I am still compulsive and obsessed with food. It's just not lifting for me. The more I worry and think about dieting, the more my food goes off the rails. I need to keep working on getting a handle on this.

I think I need to stay focused on just today. Do what I can today. Get it right today, this minute, this meal, this hour. My mind is panicking with the burden of the future--really what matters is how I live today. When I stick to my foodplan I am happy and nothing else seems to be very bad at all. I need to get back to basics once more.

Thanks for reading.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Mine was fairly successful. Saturday was very good. Made it to the gym for an hour in the morning. Healthy lunch and dinner at home, and then smart dinner choices and more walking at a college football game. No snacks at the game! Big credits all around! :carrot:

Today was a bit more challenging. Went to my first BBQ since getting back on plan. Have to admit that I was waylaid by the chips and dip. Still considering myself to be on plan, as I had plenty of room in my weekly points. But still a bit disappointing, as I had done so much better the rest of the week. Tomorrow is my official weigh-in, so hopefully the damage is minimal.

I need to focus more on the Beck principles in these situations. It's funny to me - I knew I was overeating. But I failed to recognize that I could revisit the skills I have been working on in order to refocus. Those darn chips just screamed over the top of any trationale houghts! :D

Big focus for me will be to let it go and get right back on track tomorrow. I tend to dwell and then let the negative feelings feed more bad choices. Going to try and get a good night's sleep to start the week out right, so no time for personals right now. Know that I am sending positive thoughts to you all! :hug:

I've been feeling pretty icky for about 24 hours -- ragweed allergy, probably. I hope another night's rest will fix the problem. Lack of energy seems to be helping me stick to the plan for the moment, but there's danger of trying to eat the ickiness away. It doesn't work, so I might as well stick to the plan. Exercise is difficult, but if I don't feel better tomorrow, I'll try to at least get some yoga or stretching in.

WI: -0.3kgs, Exercise: +0 375/1300 minutes for September, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Monday, Monday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Stuck with my food plan by ignoring several opportunities for store-bought cookies as well as several urges to go grab something, CREDIT moi. However, I walked (CREDIT moi) back to the last day of that Greek food festival to have a gyro for dinner. Did good enough by leaving most of the large pita bread. I lingered to listen to the live Greek music and watch the line dancing - it's refreshing to see folks of all ages, all sizes, and even limited mobility, join the line and dance as they could. Unfortunately, everyone in the place was eating dessert and I broke down and had one. Ouch! I rarely have pastry desserts. At least it was a worthy diversion instead of my old Oreo cookies.

onebyone - Love the clarity, "really what matters is how I live today." Kudos for seeing a path.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Ouch for ragweed allergy; I just read that's it's a bad year. Yep, eating doesn't cure ickiness, LOL.

Beverlyjoy – Good use of liquid soap on those candies. Kudos for a clear plan at the family dinner. Sending supportive thoughts for your ankle/foot; Yep, it's been a loooong year.

MaryContrary - Great new avatar for a person pondering a new professional life. Wondering if your's will be the only thesis with a Starbucks acknowledgement, LOL.

maryann - Tension in the house is so difficult to work without resorting to food for instant comfort; Kudos for being aware and working to release it.

missyj - That's such a big insight - that when you find your hand in chips and dip is when you can pull out your Beck strategies. Kudos for your gym, walking, and within-budget eating at the BBQ.

Tazzy - Now that's thinking, "Left the rest with the hostess and told her it freezes well." - Kudos!

Val (va1erie) - Kudos for enjoying your deck crawl by standing down all the food calling your name. [LOL at sending "one of the kids OUT FOR OREOS!"]

Readers -

Happy morning, everyone!

Sometimes I wonder if there's such a thing as giving myself too much credit! :lol: I feel like I'm addicted to saying "This is such a healthy thing I'm doing. CREDIT!" Sometimes breaking up one big thing into multiple steps to just give myself credit for each thing. "Credit for getting up on the treadmill. Credit for walking 25 minutes. Credit for pushing the speed up a little bit higher."

I really am out of reasons to put off writing out a plan. I have my lists made now, I went grocery shopping over the weekend so there's plenty of food on hand. And Mondays are my usual "plan" days. So when I get back from breakfast, I'm going to take it one step at a time and write out a plan for at least tomorrow. If not the week. (Part of me thinks it's better to get a draft out in one go. We'll see.)

As I mentioned before, I skipped exercise Saturday :o Oops! The first time in over 4 months! That being said, yesterday I got up and was still going through a case of the "Idunwannas", but I asked myself "Self, do you really want to skip exercise two days in a row?" and I knew the answer was "No..." (said in a mopey kid voice) so I got up on the treadmill, and I'm very glad I did my exercise. :) (Credit! :D)

Have a great Monday, everyone!

Hi Coaches! I'll take Beverlyjoy's suggestion an start out with the positive.
Weekend credits:
~got on my bike and saw Mile 600! Great for a gal who couldn't ride around the block in 2003.
~made some fantastic food choices around spontaneous events.
~got right back on track after unplanned snacking Sat. night.
Today credits:
~I have a plan
~I'm riding my bike both to and from the pool today.
~I continue to incorporate new healthy habits to my daily routine (flax seed w/warm water, no caffeine after 2 morning cups of java)
~weighed, even though I knew the scale would be up
Thanks for being here, everyone!

BillBlueEyes, great job sticking to your food plan, with the exception of one worthy dessert.

onebyone, you said, "When I stick to my foodplan I am happy and nothing else seems to be very bad at all. I need to get back to basics once more." Kudos for the insight and willingness to take it one day at a time.

gardenerjoy, hope you feel better very soon. Until then you will remind yourself that food does not fix allergies!

Beverlyjoy, :cp: for starting out with the positive! I acknowledge, too, that unplanned junk food doesn't undo ALL the healthy things I do during the day, and that getting back on track is such a great skill.

MaryContrary, glad you enjoyed Disneyland with a plan to "get instantly back on track." What a life skill for success, ala Beck.

maryann, yay for getting back on track with DH during a stressful time. More and more I acknowledge what I can do to keep the peace at home which DOES aid in my ability to stay OP.

missyj , great that you recognize your tendency to dwell and let negative feelings feed more bad choices AND are willing to get right back on track.

Tazzy, great credit for having a plan for the rhubarb cake you brought to the BBQ. Let someone else enjoy it!

Val(va1erie), it seems that 3 glasses of wine without a snackfest is great, and acknowledging you didn't want to walk home tipsy and overfull was a great reason to say NO CHOICE.

Lovely, I don't think you can give yourself too much credit! Accentuate the positive! Great that you are pushing through to write down a plan, one day at a time...and that you got on the treadmill even when you didn't feel like it.

Report: Had a rough night. My 17-year-old daughter's boyfriend's mom, a healthy and fit 50-year-old, died last night after a short, sudden illness. Read my cards, didn't weigh because by the time I thought about it I'd been up five hours since 2am when we learned of the tragedy and I'd already had several cups of coffee. Ate reasonably yesterday thought not particularly slowly or mindfully, as all our minds were on her fast-deteriorating condition. Had to skip exercise class this morning because of everything, but it's probably for the best as I've been on and off crutches this week with my knee acting up and it can probably use the rest. Contacted my diet buddy. Credit for not allowing the chaos to cause me to try to comfort with food. Not a whole LOT of credit for that, as turning to food for comfort isn't really an issue for me, but this was a pretty rotten day.

Beverlyjoy - Can you ask your DH if he must bring home candy, will he at least call ahead to warn you so you can read your ARCs and response cards before he brings it into the house?

maryann - good for you for giving yourself credit!

BBE - credit for not allowing ONE dessert turn into several!

Lexxiss - I agree! No such thing as too much credit! Giving ourselves credit for all the small things turns into a habit of giving credit. Eventually we don't have to give credit for things that have turned into a habit, but as long as getting on the treadmill/walking for 25 min/turning up the speed aren't HABITS, Lovely deserves credit! :)

Val

Hi Becksters - I am happy to say that yesterday was a healthy day. I am always grateful for that. I was willing to hop right back on my plan yesterday. We ended up not going to DH’s brother’s for dinner. That was fine with me… instead I fixed myself a turkey burger patty with no salt ketchup, mashed sweet potato with Smart Balance Light margerine & sliced tomatoes. Credit for keeping it healthy in the face of change.

Dh went to the grocery. He asked for the low sodium deli turkey and they gave him the full sodium kind. Phooey. I hate to take it back… since he ate a sandwich. I’ll just work around it & eat less at a time.

Using the Sparkpeople food tracker has been wonderful for me to be keeping track of my sodium (among other things, of course.) I’ve been able to keep my sodium around 1500mg for the past week…. Give or take a few hundred. Credit!

I accomplished many of my goals yesterday: I left a bite, had no seconds, ate seated only, worked on slow/mindful/tasting food eating, planned/measured/logged/tracked food, wrote my Beck tasks & goals in my journal, drank lots of water, did my stretches & strengthening exercises, mindful of sodium, read my ARC/rc, and more.

Still working on: using distraction techniques, remember to say NO CHOICE to myself when pertinent, spontaneous exercise, reading Dr. Beck’s book, weighing the morning after eating too much and more.

I was listening to something on You tube a couple days ago on weight loss. It said to do this before eating: Take three deep breath before a meal. 1. Deep breath and say: I am strong & I am in control, 2. Deep breath and say: I love myself & don’t overeat. 3. Deep breath and say: I am eating less and feeling great. I wrote in on a response card and will give it a try.

Maryann - major credit for stopping unplanned eating when in conflict with DH. Not easy, for sure. Yes.. Those last five pounds are tough. You can do it.

Tizzy - credit for doing so well at the bbq! Good move leaving the cake with the hostess.

Onebyone - gosh I hope your hip is doing better today. I give you credit for posting even when your food isn’t in such a good spot. Plan, plan and plan some more and do the best you can.

Missyj - many credits for your bbq - aside from chip and dip. I agree… sometimes when we are faced with the food the Beck techniques disappear from our brains. I think it just takes practice to remember… strengthening the resistance muscle.

gardener joy - sorry you aren’t feeling so good - hope that passes quickly. Credit for making a plan when it would be easy to overate when you feel ‘icky’.

Billbe - many credits are deserved of you at the Greek Fest. I hope you enjoyed your pastry treat. You’ve done well, really. Carry on!

Lovely - there no such thing as giving yourself too much credit. And, it certainly isn’t a silly or unnecessary thing, either. It reinforces what you are doing well and helps to make it a real part of your relationship with food. Credit for not listening to the ‘onedonwannas”

Lexxiss/Debbie - happy dance for hitting 600 on your bike. So many other credits… wonderful. Especially - getting on the scale after eating something unplanned… I can’t do that very consistently. Carry on!

Valerie - I am so sorry to hear of the death of your daughter’s boyfriend’s mom. This must be devastating for him. Yes… credit with dealing with all these things without a major use of food to cope. So good that you contacted your diet buddy and also took the time to post here. Yes... I am going to be working on asking for DH intentions when he brings home candy... so at least I'll know

Mary contrary - glad you could get some exercise in despite not feeling well… credit! It seems like you are going to be writing… then writing it is!!

Michi - did you know that Trader Joe’s is owned by the same company as Aldi’s grocery? Isn’t the hunger experiment a telling thing. I think it proves without a doubt - it isn’t always hunger that pushes us to want to eat. You can remember this for later.

Everyone have a great day. Thanks for your support, insight and ideas.

Monday
 

Hey Coaches

I weighed in this morning and will take credit for that. I saw a +2.9lb gain putting me at 283.something. I hate being that far above 280. I know it's water retention. I'm doing something about that today by getting 8 glasses of water in. I'll take my credit for that when I complete it.

And I just realized that already I have screwed up day 1 of my newest 4 day plan. Man. I am supposed to be tracking every hour of my day, starting at midnight, and recording what I am doing when/if I am eating/what I am eating/how I am feeling. I am to do this everyday for 4 days to see if there are definite patterns to my life. The theory goes, that once I see the pattern, I work with my natural pattern and I tweak it/optimize it for weightloss and exercise. I *do* have to remember to do the first part, the writing it down part, before I can make any changes. I think I'll just start it now, at 3pm. Go from 3pm to 3pm instead of midnight to midnight. Does it really matter??? I think not.

I moved all the moving boxes of stuff out of the dining room. Now they are all over the kitchen floor. * credit for the first part *dismay at the second part* as I now have to do something with them cause they are in the kitchen. I have two rubbermaid bins, another box, and a bag to move from the transitional space between the living room and the dining room. I want that cleared out too. I am trying to deal wiht my stuff and to, once more, cull my things for the weekend swap and sale at the local community center. I want my extra stuff gone. I am *tired* of having a yukky cluttered dysfunctional apartment.

Better go. Much to do before DH gets home in three hours. I hope to report in tomorrow with some progress on all fronts. Bye :wave:

Sorry that I have been MIA for the past couple of days. I came down with the flu on Saturday night. I had previously agreed to join our church's RCIA program (rite of christian initiation), which was at 8:15 a.m. ( I went to bed at 2 a.m.--my usual time) and then because of 9/11 we were having a Memorial Mass and my DH was singing again for the first time with a new music director. So, I "just went" instead of staying home and allowing my illness to progress there. We went out to eat afterwards and I ate whatever looked good. No regrets though. I ate it mindfully while I listened to another restaurant patron make a "scene" about not having the kind of fish he wanted so he was given an apology and his money back. That didn't bother me as much as listening to what the restaurant manager said as the "reason" behind the snafu. He blamed it on his (foreign) help. I cringed. I felt that this was a cowardly thing for this male manager to say and it didn't sit well with me at all.

I told my DH that I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. This is one of our favorite restaurants. We are very friendly terms with much of the wait staff. They get paid less than $2 an hour. After we were told this by two of our favorite waiters we increased our tipping. I hope this isn't sounding like an "excuse" on my part but if we were to "boycott" this restaurant by not eating there, it really wouldn't change the inequitable work situation there. They have such an attention to fresh fruits and vegetables, quality meats and so on that it just makes it so hard to see what the work environment behind all of that is. I am grown up enough to know life is unfair but, gosh, it is difficult to watch this scenario unfold.

Anyway, I came home and I have been in and out of bed since then. I haven't been on the treadmill or done my weights for 6 days. I have only limited stamina because of my RA (it tires me out) plus all of that inactivity (especially at my age--I'm older than most of you here) is a real "killer" (literally and figuratively)so don't stop being active. It takes that much more to "get caught up". Word from the "wise" (I seem to learn everything the hard way, I guess). Anyway, I will see how the rest of this day turns out before I decide whether I am going to work out. Again, I will let my body tell me what it is capable of. I wouldn't have done that in my 30s. I would have kept working out in spite of having a fever,etc.

onebyone The most important thing you need to do is calm down. All the anxiety is what is causing your mind to do all that spinning. If you are concerned about how you will look in photos here are a couple of options (besides losing weight): there are certain types of clothes and colors that will give the illusion of less weight, body shapers worn under clothes and exercise. I hate body shapers because it is over 80 degrees here almost 6 months out of the year. Navy, brown and black are a larger woman's "friend". Black washes me out since I am a blonde but navy is a good color choice for just about everything. I am saving the best for last: exercise specifically building muscle and toning. Considering your limited means right now, you can build muscle with the simplest household objects, you can do it according to your schedule and not some fitness center's hours and you will see results faster than losing weight. I guarantee that! That gives a person a lot more satisfaction and that fuels doing it more and more frequently.

Over this past summer, I have only lost around 10 lbs BUT I have managed to go down one full size (and even that is loose on me) so it looks like I have lost 25-30 lbs. In fact, this past Friday everyone who hadn't seen me over the summer asked if I had lost weight. One woman mentioned that she thought that I had lost a lot more. I said that I was also exercising so it just looks like I've lost more.

Well, I am going to go back to bed now so take care and I will check back in tomorrow.

Pam

Good afternoon:
This weekend I struggled with free floating anxiety. Credit for saying "Oh Well" and had a life despite the discomfort. I was a good mom, a good wife, wrote, I exercised - I was just scared much of the time. I got to school early this morning and took care of a few things that were worrying me. I was a good teacher. I am starting to feel a little better. The important thing is to remind myself that it is my ACTIONS that count, that will pull me out of my doldrums. My feelings, while they need to be acknowledged, don't dictate who I am.

onebyone: I was thinking about what you said about this obsession lifting. That is really the goal. Sometimes it is for me and sometimes, like this weekend, it isn't. You are right on in saying it is a daily focus.
missyj: social stuff is SOOOO hard. You are right on the mark to look at it as a learning experience. I still get sidetracked but the difference is recovery time is much quicker. Sometimes I am back On Plan within the hour. I use to flounder for days before I could clean up my eating again.
gardenerjoy: credit for the back up yoga plan. Sorry you are not feeling well.
BBE: I agree about the quality dessert being progress. I had EXACTLY one half cup of Ben and Jerry's, weighed and measured and enjoyed every bite. A lot different than sneaking spoonfuls and not admitting I was eating it.
Lovely: I don't think you can give yourself too much credit. In my experience, I have lived in a deprived environment through my own doing for years. I starved myself for any self acceptance. I would call myself an ugly monster everyday, I called myself weak, useless, pathetic. It takes a lot of Credits to undo that kind of damage.
lexxiss: Congrats on weighing even if you knew the scale would be up. That is courage.
va1erie: So sorry for the loss. You must feel it deeply in that it was so sudden.
beverleyjoy: I am going to look into sparkepeople tracker. it sounds interesting.

Lessons from a dog.
 

It's going to be a crazy week. I did not get drafts of the job materials done. I banged my head against the same paragraph for four hours. But I just have to keep moving forward . . . I can do it, but the stress is mounting and seeping out in ways that aren't always positive. Trying to preserve the balance is my goal for the week.

Here's a little anecdote that taught me a lot, and has me reflecting more on the type of exercise I do:

It used to be that my only form of exercise was walking the dogs. We live in a hilly area, so that would get my heart-rate kinda going; yet walking the dogs is never quite the extended work out I need.

Since I have been on this quest to lose weight, walking the dogs has taken a backseat. I've only ever walked them after I've already done my own exercise. It just takes a lot of time to walk the dogs (they need at least 40 min.) AND do my own thing. So I've had it in my head that I would increase this type of exercise when I was in the maintaining stage. And I don't feel I'm at that point.

WELL, for a variety of reasons, mainly emotional, I really needed to work out yesterday but the house wasn't available. I suited up myself and the dogs. We put weighted backpacks on the two big ones, to help them burn off more energy. Long story short, I spent most of the walk wrestling with our bull-terrier, who kept pulling back and walking way too slow. If y'all know bull terriers, they do NOT respond to being forced to do anything. The walk was going pretty miserably. I didn't know what to do, I kept getting angry about the situation, excessively angry due to other stresses. I knew that my energy was affecting him (who wants to follow an angry pack leader?), but my energy wasn't being helped by his slow, stubborn pace. What to do?

Credit moi for finally stopping and "listening" to the dog.

I took the back-pack off him. I put his backpack inside MY backpack, which meant I was carrying about 15 pounds extra weight (what with the leg weights I was wearing, the weight of the chihuahua who walks a bit but mostly rides, and now the extra dog backpack). The walk instantly improved. The dog kept pace and relaxed. I felt as if the dog was saying to me, "Mom, you're the one who needs to carry this weight. You need to wear off that energy." And it worked for all parties involved.

The result is that I walked the dogs again, this morning. It still doesn't feel like enough exercise, but I added weight to my own backpack, again and we all got a pretty good work out.

This incident makes me think more about working out my stresses in different ways. With dogs, you can't just burn off the emotion through sweat and adrenaline. You MUST let it go, listen to yourself and the canines, which is another much more difficult but perhaps more beneficial stress release. I'm going to try, therefore, to walk these pups twice a week. I don't think my weight loss will be adversely affected, but it'll have to be something I track.

Tuesday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Took a refreshing walk (CREDIT moi) to Trader Joe's to resupply my walnuts, pecans, and almonds. The FREE sample was a small organic carrot dipped in humus. So I indulged with no feeling of drifting off plan. Wish all FREE foods were as benign.

onebyone - Kudos for charging forth on recording your activities NOW, instead of just putting it off for another day. Of course it'll give you the same information. I do know that feeling of too much stuff.

Beverlyjoy – Ouch for the constant struggle to keep the salt at bay. Always love that sweet potato.

Debbie (Lexxiss) - Congrats on Mile 600!!! And that achieved in one hilly locale.

MaryContrary - Love the story of the dog. Kudos for turning it into a learning experience.

maryann - Thanks for, "My feelings, while they need to be acknowledged, don't dictate who I am." I need to remember that feelings, thoughts, and wants are just inputs when I decide what to do next.

Pam (pamatga) – Congrats for dropping that clothing size - well deserved for a summer of mindful activities.

Lovely – LOL at your "Idunwannas" - I've seen those a bit. Kudos for just going to your exercise.

Val (va1erie) - Sending supportive thoughts to you and your DD - that's a rough blow. BIG Kudos for not turning to food in a time of crisis.

Readers -

Hi everyone :D

I stopped all my thumb twiddling and sat down yesterday to plan out my meals for the week. I decided to do it all at once to see just what it would entail.

It turned out about as well as I thought it would. The lists aren't perfect. Breakfast planning was done in a pinch (because I already plan breakfasts for my week). Dinners didn't take that long. But, as I thought they might, lunches and snacks took a long time. Though, it's mostly done for the week now, and I can adjust day by day as needed. Plus, if I keep at it, it'll get easier and easier over time. (I'm hoping.)

Here's to a good (well-planned) day!

Report: didn't read my cards, weighed (up 1), ate fairly mindfully but not particularly slowly, got zero exercise, contacted my diet buddy. Stress levels at my house are very high between Jane's mono, her schoolwork, her college application process, and her desire to support her boyfriend through his loss. She's exhausted and stressed. DH is out of town and can't help. Funeral is tomorrow morning.

Val