Tuesday May 4th
 

Coaches/Buddies:
Had a busy, but good day. Rode my bike almost everywhere I had to go (and pulled my son in the trailer) and got almost 4 miles in. Also mowed the lawn. So I did great on spontaneous exercise. Did well with eating too. Now it's time for sleep.

G'nite everyone!

Wednesday night
 

Coaches
I am exceptionally tired - but healthily so after a busy and pleasant day and given I have to get up really early to go to the Happiness and its Causes conference tomorrow in the city (on the train - quite the adventure) I will have to get organised and off to bed. I did some exercise today which has tired me and today I had coffee with dear friends who are going to the US tomorrow to study for the next few years - Harvard plus some prep language courses - and I miss them already. And I didn't resist the cake this time - too late for Oh well and only time for let's move on unfortunately.

Next time I will avoid the coffee shop and take a boiled egg I think

Keep well
Cheryl

Wednesday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - So I did the experiment; since I had a few small Tuna sushi left over from the previous night, I took them for lunch - sushi, eaten the NEXT day. Well, I'm still alive. I've always believed that you should only eat sushi immediately after if was made by a Japanese speaking chef. CREDIT moi for being so cheap I wouldn't throw away a few small pieces of sushi, LOL.

Was out for a good walk which started with a visit to the ATM (since I'd stopped at the gas station on my way home from work and that tends to deplete my wallet these days) when the skies darkened, and I'm wearing a t-shirt with a wad of money in my pocket and I get this image of having to attach a string of twenty dollar bills to our basement clothesline with clothespins (which we have since DW pre-dries blue jeans before putting them in the dryer). So I went home and just beat the rain. But CREDIT moi for thinking about getting exercise; Ouch. [Sorry, some sentences just can't be salvaged, LOL.]


onebyone - Continuing to send supportive thoughts to you and Kitty X. Wish it was visible to you that if you had the deep pockets of Bill Gates, there's a time when we have to let our loved companions go their path. I faced the same angst you're feeling when we took our beloved Australian Shepard to the vet for the last time. An operation plan was offered, but my dog could never go outside again, and would never be herself again. It would just be pain and an ugly life. We had to let her go. I wish you well growing to accept Kitty X on her path.

Ouch for the sister dynamics that can send your neurons spinning. Kudos for processing away the notion of 100 pounds in two months. A reasonable, steady plan that allows you to focus your energy on creating art is what you sound like you're seeking - when not distracted by the old I-want-it-all-NOW thoughts. Maybe your plan should include a bike ride after every phone call from your sister, LOL.


Susan (hikergirl) - Ouch for being grabbed by seeing the bread. I hate when that happens. It's not my goal to go live in a monastery to avoid seeing food, but it would make it easier to stay on plan.

Kim (bennyhannamama) - Love the notion of biking with your kid in a trailer - wish those existed when mine were young.

CeeJay - Good job of countering 20 years of city indulgences. My admiration for remembering that food doesn't beat the hotel blues.

Beverlyjoy - Joining you in your "happy dance." Also joining you in "Sometimes I have a hard head," LOL.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Kudos for "reasonable substitutes." And I join those who like "Strategy is stronger than willpower." Willpower is over-rated in my book. One can only hold their breath for so long.

Shepherdess - Shuddering at your “major wind event” - you guys know how to do weather, LOL. Super Kudos for staying on plan when your DH is chowing down fast food fries - that's a big one.

Cheryl (Seadwaters) - Yay for updating your database. Ouch for the tiny spurt of "not thinking or caring" - that's the thing that concerns me when I do it because I have this dream that I'm past that.

Debbie (Lexxiss) - Ouch for "rollercoaster couple of days" with Big Kudos for "put the situation into a perspective." This recovery step always seems like a big deal to me - quickly getting up as if set backs are just a part of life.

nathy - Kudos for another day "OP without overeating." Neat that being OP makes the drudgery of life enjoyable.

Re: "why are you here?" Oh yes, I'm one of us. Before I started my journey 4+ years ago, I was grazing at food constantly. After I had made the transition to my current life style and lost the 80 pounds, I could still feel the urge to go back to grazing and realized that I didn't have strategies to resist. Luckily, when I went looking for some ideas, I found 3FC and then Beck. Beck's Cognitive Behavior Therapy strategies are just what I needed and feel that I can utilize for life to stay on track, and, most importantly to me, get back on track when I wander. All you guys on this forum on 3FC are helpful to me, day by day, to zap my brain with useful notions to stay the course.


Readers -

Hi beck folks, coaches, buddies...

Well I almost made it through my weigh in day with out eating extra. Some things die hard....I did eat extra before I went to bed. But - I am grateful that everyday is a new beginning. I will carry on. I even made a response card for this sabatoging thought.

I've been feeling very frustrated. This foot/ankle stuff just is getting to me. I feel like I don't know what will happen next. I don't know when or if I'll be able to do my programs. Maybe I'll need to do the surgery earlier than fall. I am not very brave.

But - today I will push forward and make it a good day.

I'll be back later. Thanks to everyone for doing the happy dance with me yesterday as I celebrated two more pounds down.

Have a GREAT day.

Yesterday was on plan. . .until after dinner when my planned dessert was much larger than it should have been. At dinner I decided at the last minute to swap my planned bread for some chips. As far as calories go, the swap was fine, but I don’t think I’m quite ready to make spur-of-the-moment changes to my plan. It just makes me get too lax. So for now, it’s back to being strict and inflexible.

I had hoped to spend yesterday in my garden, but it was just too windy to be outdoors more than I had to. So besides my run, it wasn’t a very active day, but I guess that’s all right.

Lexxiss, you’re right that scrimping on calories after a not-so-great day is not a good plan. It’s best just to learn why you went off-plan and move on. I love your line “determined this is a situation which is out of my control.” It’s so nice to have at least one area of my life that I control; I just wish I didn’t have to struggle so hard to control it.

Onebyone, it’s so hard to watch animals coming to the end of their life, but you are right not to spend the money. We have frustrating patterns with our families, of baiting and being baited. Don’t take your sister’s bait; you are doing what is right for you. You may be able to lose a lot of weight her way, but would you be able to keep it off?

CeeJay, great job eating so healthy in the hotel room. Those old, well-established patterns are hard to break, but you are doing a great job. If you keep this up, those private binges will be a thing of the past.

Bennyhannamamma, kudos for getting so much spontaneous exercise, and I bet it was a lot of fun for your son! Great job eating well and checking in here.

Seadwaters, kudos for getting some exercise, but ouch for the tired. Good job moving on from the cake and making a plan for next time, but it was nice you got a chance to say goodbye to dear friends. Good luck with your conference—the train sounds like fun.

BillBE, glad you survived your sushi experiment, LOL. Great job getting in a walk and beating the storm. Did those dark clouds make you walk faster?

Beverlyjoy, ouch for eating before bed, but I love your attitude, "I am grateful that everyday is a new beginning." Doing surgery earlier may be a good idea. It seems like the foot pain is really interfering with your life. Is there a reason you were waiting until the fall?

Credit for packing my normal snack on what would have been, otherwise, a very strange eating day. I ate it, sitting down, in a cute little park with pleasant memories. When I was a shy computer programmer at my first job, I used to pack my lunch and a thick novel, like Clan of the Cave Bear or Outlander, and take my midday break at this little park in the company of delighted toddlers on swings and slides and their patient mommies and nannies.

WI: +0.35kg, Exercise: +60 190/1400 minutes for May, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Greetings. A big "ah well" to my eating yesterday. Extremely compulsive overeating.

BBE --- I laugh at the picture of the drying $20 bills. I will not give you a credit for eating day old raw fish (yuck). Glad that you did not feel the after effects.

Great posts from everyone.

"I am powerful when I sparkle."


Weight:
May 2nd 160.9, 3rd 159, 4th 158.7, 5th could not do it,

Exercise month to date:
160 min

Month to date -Days with out compulsive overeating 2 of 4.

Wednesday May 5th
 

Buddies/Coaches:
Didn't weigh today because I stayed at Jim's house and he doesn't have a scale. Kind of bummed about that because I burned a lot more calories than I consumed and it would have been fun to see the effect (if any) it had on the scale. Although, I have noticed that not weighing today has helped keep me on track so that I can see some good results when I weigh tomorrow morning.

Today I have:

Read my advantages :broc:
Ate slowly and mindfully (most of the time) :broc:
Gave myself credit :broc:
Checked in here :broc:
Exercised my resistance muscle by not eating the keylime cheesecake my co-worker made :broc: :broc:
Reminded myself that hunger is not an emergency and made myself a cup of tea :broc:

Hello Coaches,

Urgh! Lost my long post when I hit the 'back' button! Very frustrating. Well, I learned my lesson. Will compose it as draft in Notepad and post when finished. <sigh>

Anyway, I finally had The Discussion with my husband, and told him I had joined a really good support group which meant that I would be posting (hopefully) every day.
He didn't get bent out of shape about it. He just shrugged and said that it doesn't matter what "framework" I use to make changes, so long as I execute the changes.
Then he seemed to consider the discussion over, and turned his attention to something else.

Now, for a moment I considered following up on this with him. I wanted to make the point that the framework is actually the really important part to making sure that changes
stick, but I stopped. I'm not going to be able to turn him into a Beckian. I decided to take my victories where I can, and all I really wanted was to let him know
that I will be posting to this forum and not get grief when I do. If I have acheived that, that's enough for now. I already know that he can only offer qualified support,
at best.

So, credit to me for dealing w/spouse. And credit for planning today's meals, extremely important as tonight is dinner at a restaurant that really is not oriented towards
healthy choices (a BBQ place). I have decided a plan of action (salad and pulled pork w/no sauce), and I think I can get through the dinner without going off of my plan.

BillBE: Your sushi story reminds me of "Desperately Seeking Susan", the part where the NYC taxi driver is talking to Madonna about sushi, which was a
relatively phenomenon when the movie came out. He said, "Sushi, sushi. I don't see the big deal about sushi. I bought some the other day, brought it home and cooked it.
It wasn't bad, it tasted like fish."

onebyone: When my kitty was at the end of her days, a few years ago, the vet told me that she might be tempted with clam juice, and that did work for a while.
Cats will make more of an effort to drink clam juice than they will water. Just get some canned clams and give her the liquid. You can eat the clams - they are good
with pasta.

Oops. Will have to finish posting later. Where did this day get to?? Off to face BBQ, but I have a plan.

Hello Coaches,

BBQ dinner was perfectly on plan. Ate the food I planned and didn't eat the food I didn't. The large beer was good, too. I planned to have it the minute I saw it.

:-)

OK, there is room for improvement.

onebyone: Also sending calmness your way as your family documentary situation pushes your stress buttons. I don't know what Volumetrics is, but anything to do with math pushes my stress buttons. Kudos to you for gathering your facts before making your choices.

gardnerjoy: Excellent! Thank you thank you thank you! I love it. "Strategy is stronger than willpower is my new mantra." I just have to remember that beer is part of my strategy.

shepherdess: A day when all you can do is run... that's much better than my best! I think it's a good day if I walk to work instead of take the subway.

nathy: Hi! And thanks for the support. Yes, this is a good group.

ceejay: Thanks for the encouragement! It's a work in progress.

bennyhannamama: Great spontaneous exercise. Sounds like fun, too.

seadwaters: I admire your patience for typing out your recipes. I did that for a while but found it tedious.

Lexiss: Good to know that someone else is coping with a spouse who is not entirely on the same wavelength. Since you've had great success, you are proof that it's possible to find a way to make it work.

Beverlyjoy: Condolences on your foot. I know we both have foot problems - mine is an ankle that's now weak, ever since a fracture resulted in my foot breaking off of my leg, and it sprains a lot. What is the problem with yours?

Hi to hikergirl & wndranne, and everybody else out there. All of your posts are really helpful.

Thursday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Micro steps: 1) Dinner was coming late (my gardener DW has a hard time coming in while she can still see, LOL) so I saw my hand reaching for some trail mix; I stopped myself, realizing that I don't graze anymore. CREDIT moi. and 2) I had the opportunity to have both an orange and a pear for my evening snack, and I remembered that my plan is for a fruit, not for as many as I can lift, so I didn't; CREDIT moi again.

It was sobering the other day to be reminded that 100 calories a day can change the weight by 10 pounds a year. It's time for me to get un-lazy about staying on my plan. 100 calories matter once I start doing it daily.


Susan (hikergirl) - Extreme Ouch for "overeating." There seem to be several of us here that need to get a bit more attentive to our plan.

Kim (bennyhannamama) - Yep, Two Broccoli Kudos for avoiding that "keylime cheesecake my co-worker made." Love seeing your page of dancing broccoli.

Beverlyjoy - Sending supportive thoughts as you work to keep your spirits up while stretching your foot/ankle surgery until fall. I thought that your "happy dance" reference yesterday was a sign that you're winning.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - What pleasant memories with your lunch. I remember Clan of the Cave Bear - that must have sold a zillion copies.

Shepherdess - Ouch for those little diversions from plan - from a guy who understands your phrase "too lax." And Yep, those dark clouds did make me walk faster - maybe I'll think of threatening weather as my exercise coach rather than a problem, LOL.

Cheryl (Seadwaters) - What a happy thought that you spent the day at a "Happiness and its Causes" conference. So much more pleasant than all of The-End-Is-Coming conferences about the environment, health, population, etc. Yep, "let's move on" should do it.

MerinoGirl - Ouch for that replanning that happens when the eyeballs spot a treat. BTDT. Kudos for making a plan before heading off to your BBQ restaurant. LMAO at the NY taxi driver's "it tasted like fish" - thanks for that one.

And Big Kudos for having "The Discussion" you needed to have with your DH. It's a victory in the Venus/Mars arena just to have the conversation and come out good enough. My take is that marriages get all in a knot when there's a stack of subjects not being discussed rather than from any disagreements about the topics.


Readers -

Hello Beck friends:wave:

Yesterday was a much better day *credit*. I had opportunity for reflection on my daily planning. I am back to my plan which has had long term success; automate breakfast and lunch, and OP dinner, amended to use my Beck skills and not graze or overeat. I'm recognizing that for me, too many changes=food chaos. I'm back to baby steps...and it feels good today. I did my Beck homework this AM and am looking forward to a stressless OP day. Many of the stressors still exist, I'll just work on taking control of my attitude and related responses.

BillBlueEyes, *credit* for resisting the urge to graze. Yes, small indisgressions do add up. I remember that, too.

MerinoGirl, (I smile) *credit* for knowing when the conversation is over and choosing to leave it. Great job explaining your needs to DH.

Kim, your cup of tea reminded me to have one! *credit* for all your :broc:

hikergirl, sorry you had a rough food day. I'm glad you are here.

gardenerjoy, thanks for sharing your memory. It reminded me of my first job and lunches from home. I used to walk to work every morning, too.

Shepherdess, I'm back to strict and inflexible, too. *credit* for recognizing that spur of the moment changes make you too lax.

Beverlyjoy, sorry to hear you are frustrated with your foot, but *credit* for your resolve to "push forward and make it a good day."

seadwaters, I hope you were able to get some rest. the Happiness and its Causes conference sounds very interesting. I look forward to a report.

CeeJay, such a *credit* for changing your hotel pattern to a healthy one. Sane and healthy! PHEW!

onebyone, I am looking foward to seeing your new painting. I married into a family of artists, but am not one! My Sis and I have always had a *very interesting* relationship. I love her, but have to be very careful to take care of myself. At my higher weight, it really did help me, when spending time with my family, to remember exactly what you said, "The story/film is not about you and your body, it's about your mother and her journey and ours with her and with each other. Who really cares." I enjoyed our reunions, and they were happy to be with me. They truly didn't care. :hug:

Thanks, all, for taking time to share your insights. I appreciate it very much.

I ate sloppily in the middle of the day yesterday with lots of sabotaging thoughts like "I don't care" and "Just one day won't matter." If I truly didn't care, I would have weighed myself this morning. And it wasn't just one day, it's the second day this week.

The result was that suddenly candy displays interested me. I was really never close to actually buying any candy. But, for weeks now, candy displays have had nothing to do with me, like a display of dog toys since I don't own a dog. Life is better with that total disinterest and it's easier to achieve when my resistance muscle is strong.

WI: NAkg, Exercise: +20 210/1400 minutes for May, Food: 65%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: no

hikergirl: hope you're sparkling!

bennyhannahmama: love that you were able to use not weighing as motivation to have another good day!

MerinoGirl: I think your minimal discussion with your husband was just perfect. All you need from him right now is not to get in the way and it sounds like you got it! I get much more meaningful support from this group than my husband on this matter since we're all on similar journeys. My husband and I have many other journeys to support each other through, but it works well to have a few journeys we take on our own with the support of others. Yay for the (mostly) OP BBQ!

BillBlueEyes: good job on two credits before and after supper!

Lexxiss: yay for a much better day and back to baby steps!

onebyone: sending warm and healing thoughts as you are dealing with a lot right now!

Greetings to Shepherdess, nathy, ChinaMaine, seadwaters, Beverlyjoy, and anyone else wandering this way!

Hi friends....I have been struggling since last night and it has spilled into this morning.I overate last night and this morning. I can't undo everything I've learned and accomplished these past monthes. I have many decisions to make. But, food can't make any of this easier, better or clearer. It really just clouds up everything.

Credit for checking here. I'll check back.

I will draw my 'line in the sand'.

Beverley - if you're still here, have a :hug: You'll get through this. I know you will.