[callystia]

Some of y'all already know me, so forgive me for cluttering up your screens; I'm just a little uncomfortable at the moment.

I don't overeat as a general rule, although once in a blue moon I'll go a little crazy and binge--did it this last Saturday, as a matter of fact. My main problem is that I got so obsessed with losing weight last year that I started restricting my calories wayyyyy too much, and throwing up whenever I ate more than about 700-800 in a day.

I'm a lot better about it than I used to be--I can get up to 1200 calories before I start feeling too panicky. My problem, and why I'm still here on a site that's generally devoted to weight loss, is that not only do I still purge sometimes, my metabolism's basically shot after all the stress I put on my digestive system. My doctor has told me that I'll probably gain a few pounds while my body gets used to having food again, but I'm having trouble dealing with that well enough to relax and actually eat. So I'm trying to surround myself with supportive people who know (or are learning themselves) how to deal with food in a healthy way.

I don't feel comfortable going to sites about general eating disorders because I feel that all the anorexic or bulimic girls are judging me, because I'm not very skinny and thus can't possibly have a "real" eating disorder.

But on the other hand, I don't want to take up space anywhere else, either. I feel like a fraud talking with normal people about losing weight, even though I DO know healthy methods to do it...because I didn't always employ those methods myself. I post on the calorie-counting threads and in a few challenges, but I have to admit that whenever I mention my problem I get kind of embarrassed and start feeling like maybe I should leave.

Ugh...I don't even really know what I'm saying. I guess I just wanted to know whether y'all thought I should try to find somewhere else to go for support.

[HarpoChicoGroucho]

Not at all, you are VERY much welcome here. I know the whole ED/weight loss struggle inside and out. I know I was never a typical ED sufferer (I was over 300 when my bulimia was at its worse). I've been a member of this site for quite awhile now - and no one judges anyone here. I always thought having an ED was detrimental to weight loss -- and if you really think about it -- if you (and I) had started losing weight normally, our metabolisms would not be wrecked, and our weight loss would come easier when we do employ healthy methods. I know I'd be at my goal weight already if I didn't still struggle with relapsing.

[Tisha___]

Of course you're welcome here!!!

This thread isn't called "Chicks Who Binge" ... It's called "Chicks in Control" ... we're all trying to be in control of whatever our problems with food are, IMO.

[callystia]

That's a good point.

Thank you both, ladies! I was just having a couple of nasty moments today.

[isthatreallyme]

I agree.... you're trying to get help, you know what's wrong, and you're trying to get in control/stay in control of it.

My opinion is, that as long as you aren't trying to lose an amount of weight that's unhealthy (ie putting your bmi too low) and as long as you are trying to do it in a healthy way (ie NOT restricing your cals to like 500 a day or something equally stupid - cuz we know the effect that has on your bod....) and you aren't in denial about an ED (ie you are anorexic, but insist you aren't or you binge, but insist you don't etc) then in my opinion is that yes of course we are happy to help/support/motivate you.

You're trying to get healthy, you know what your obstacles are, and you're trying to work past them. That's what we're all here for. Why wouldn't we support you ?

[rockinrobin]

Umm..... are you serious?? Did you really have a doubt that you weren't welcomed here. Well you most DEFINITELY are. I hope it's giving you the help, hope and encouragement that you and us all need.

[healthywtloss4me]

I with you in the same boat. Let's keep each other from sinking. Search my posts and you will see what I mean. I feel very welcome because like the previous post, I know my problem and am here to help myself

[martiniforme]

I know that EDs are often generally classified as bullimia or anorexia, but in all honesty I don't think they are the only EDs. Essentially, many of us have different types of EDs, they just may not be as commonly referred to as EDs.

I myself have an eating disorder. I have a problem with overeating, and not knowing when to stop. Recently, this type of problem has been classified as an addiction, as well!

We all got to be where we were for 1 reason or another, and not all of them are the same reasons.

Whether it's because we don't eat, or we eat too much, or do a little from column a, and a little from column b, the outcome is still the same.

We all have a goal in mind. And we are all here to achieve it, and get the support we all need to reach our goal. I've already gotten to know you from your posts, and I really want you to know there is no reason to be embarrassed! In the very beginning I was really embarrassed because I saw all these ladies succeeding and losing, and here I was just trying to deal with binging. But the last couple of weeks (and especially with your support, and support from the other ladies) I have come to realize that you guys don't care about how big I am, or how much I eat. You guys care about how I feel, and are there to cheer me on to the very end.

No judging here! And smite those that judge, least they be judged!

~Mande

P.S. Although our eating disorders are different, I am always here to listen if you need to talk! I may not understand, but you can explain it to me. And you might not always understand me, but I'll always explain myself to you!

[thinagain08]

Thank you so much Callystia!

I honestly thought this sickness I had was my own - I truly felt alone until I found this sight and saw your posting.

I too am not the normal weight of the thin people with ED's - but I clearly have an uncontrollable ED. I compulsively overeat after fasting for 24-48 hours and then purge the majority of what I consume.

This has been my cycle for many years - I have never been able to sustain normal dieting and achieve any lasting results. I however never had the courage as you to lay it out there to others....I guess if I would have sooner - I would know that I am not alone. Others are out there struggling with the same or similar problems as myself.

So thank you so much for showing yours so I realized I was not alone out there.

[Allycatisfat]

Callystia,

Together we have bulimia because I'm the binger and your the purger. I'm seriously considering going to an OA meeting because I thought I was in control but Friday taught me differently. So..how do we get in control of our bizzare eating problems?

~Hugs~

Allycat