Thin is not an accident......
And other maintenance revelations.
I have been at my goal weight for about a week now, and I am thrilled as well as learning each day what this means. some thoughts that have come to me..
Thin is not an accident, I look around at thin people, they work out, they eat well, and they know that they need to do those things to stay that way. Sure, there are those who are genetically gifted, but it is rare.
I will eat and exercise this way from now on. I did not diet to lose this weight, I changed my entire relationship with myself and food.
My body loves, needs, craves exercise. If I go without for a day, i get a restless feeling, like my muscles are crying to be used.
Being thin will give me just what it will- a healthier body, smaller clothes, more social acceptance, more ease of movement, but it cannot change what it is not tied too. Thin cannot make my son want to sleep in his own room, make my hair behave, make my husband listen better...
I can change patterns, habits and rituals. My body can crave salads and not sugar, I can stop my binge behavior. I can stop eating after dinner and not panic, and I can go to bed feeling good.
Getting thin does interesting things to friendships, new ones form, old ones may dissolve, some don't know who you may be.
I am worth the time and energy to buy and prepare good food, and I can also make food for my family and not eat it. Every moment it is my choice, it feels very liberating.
I am human, I will fall, fail, cry, and stumble, and this may involve chocolate.
I have been either on a diet or breaking a diet by binging since I was 12. I cried when I read my diary from the 7 th grade and I spoke of slicing off my stomach. Getting thin has involved for me realizing that I am worth being my authentic self, living the best way I know how, and living presently in the process. I have been thin before, but my head stayed stuck in " on/off diet mentality", I waited to be done, so I could binge again. It feels so good, and natural, to have shifted my thinking, though it took me to the age of 36 to get here, I can't imagine turning around.
I have really been inspired by all you maintainers along the way, thank you for letting me share, Amy
|