You can't spot reduce. Body fat comes off the way it went on- all over. Your body has a mind of its own.
To begin, you have to eat clean. Figure out a good number of calories for you to eat per day so you don't starve yourself, but you are eating less than you are now. Then plan your meals around that number of calories. Eat lean meat, complex carbs and lots of vegetables and fruit. Losing weight is 80% diet.
Try to do some cardio exercise every day for about 30 minutes. As you become fitter, you can increase the time. If you can't get to a gym, walk outside.
There are many good exercises, but don't just focus on the upper body. Make sure you do a balanced routine. Check around for compound exercises that hit many major muscle groups. As you develop muscle, your metabolism will increase, thus burning more calories at rest.
By compound exercises, I mean the following:
Upper front- bench presses with a barbell or dumbbells. These don't have to be heavy, but they work your arms as well as your chest.
Upper back- lat pulldowns, seated rows, one-arm rows. Again these don't have to be heavy and also work your arms.
Legs- the dreaded squats and lunges; best leg exercises there are; they work the whole leg plus your hips and glutes. Step ups are also good. You don't need weight at first, so use bodyweight and reps of 12-15.
Abs- there are many, many ab exercises to choose from. Choose one for the upper abs, one for the lower abs, and one for the obliques. Use a stability ball whenever possible; these are terrific.
Lower back- again there are many lower back exercises that don't need weights. Find a few that you like, and go for it.
You don't have to work your arms specifically at first. Once more weight comes off, and you have built up some strength through compound exercises, you can then look at isolation exercises for your biceps, triceps and shoulders.
Hope this helps. If not, keep asking questions. And good luck. By the way, you are NOT disgusting. My daughter has had a weight problem all her life, and now that is exaggerated by heavy medications. That doesn't mean she is not loved or appreciated for who she is.
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