I know ya'll don't know me, I've posted a few times but I read everything. I just need to 'talk' to somebody...
I'm supposed to have my lap band May 12th....
I can't (won't, unable, whatever) stop eating. I'm completely out of control like I've never been before. I feel like a failure already and am wondering if this 'tool' is going to work for me. I'm afraid I'll do all those things to sabotage myself in this journey.
I just feel like a mess. I'm afraid of the liquid diet, like it might be emotionally impossible for me to accomplish. I know physically I'll survive, but I'm worried about the other part...
I can't be the only one who's done this. I mean, we didnt' become overweight in the first place by eating healthy, well portioned meals.... but did anyone just lose it before the surgery?
Please respond... I need some feedback from folks who understand.
Never mind, I looked it up. Sorry bout that, I am feeling a lil silly for not knowing all the abbr. ya'll do here. But I am learning, slowly, but surely. Thanks!!
princess - it's called LAST MEAL SYNDROME. it usually doesn't last for a month, however. and a word of warning: there are SOME surgeons in this country who won't operate if the patient has gained weight before surgery. so please, do whatever you have to in order to get control, even if it means going to a support group.
some surgeons have pre-op support groups, but overeaters anonymous is a thought, as is the old standby, WW.
bottom line, if you don't start dealing with whatever issues you have, you're going to have a VERY hard time with the 'head work' that goes into this...
i wish, with all my heart, that i could wave a magic wand and take this away from you, but i can't. and it is indeed something that we all dealt with, in one way or another.
but please be careful... and hang out here! if you're typing, you're not eating!!!!
princess
My surgery was scheduled about 5 weeks after everything was approved. Three of those weeks I ate like crazy...everything I wanted. I had doubts about whether I could stick to the instructions after surgery...but never once did I change my mind about having it. I guess we've tried so many things before we just can't really believe down deep it will work for us. The last 2 weeks before surgery I buckled down and followed the diet they wanted me faithfully and drank gallons of water. In those 2 weeks I lost 10 lbs.
But truthfully, the only reason I did it was because my doctor wouldn't do the surgery if I gained any weight. I was more afraid of not having the surgery than I was about sticking to the diet. Only one day did I really panic. And that was the Friday before surgery on Wednesday. But I just went over my options...and reminded myself why I decided to take such a drastic measure in the first place. It was my last chance to get out of all the pain. I didn't have the lap band....but it is my understanding it restricts how much you can eat also. You won't be ABLE like you did before.
As jiffy says.....BREATHE ! The unknown is always scarier than the known. Even if the known is horrible. If you're sure this is what you need to do ... then just keep breathing and do it. It's fear that's causing you to eat. That's the way we have coped in the past. But there are healthier ways to deal with our frustrations. Ask yourself what am I afraid of? And write it down. Be as honest with yourself as you can be. You might be surprised at some of you answers. You'll also be amazed and how your self esteem will blossom when you face your fears head on.
Hang in there !!!
I agree with these ladies!! I eat myself sick sometimes. Really I do. Once I start, I cant stop for days!!! I will gain 5-10 lbs from it, then work my booty off taking it back off. That's why I have been stuck at this weight for so long. I cant stop eating. I am preparing myself for plastic surgery right now. YES, I am freaked outta my mind. And eating makes me feel better about it. But if I dont stop, I will not be able to have the surgery. I want the surgery more than ever now. So I made a deal with myself........No more overeating because its gonna ruin my goals and my peace of mind about myself in the long run. Its a very hard and long struggle, but ya gotta do it for yourself, and no one else. Take the time to weigh your pros and cons. Write it all down, see which list is longer. Evaluate your sitaution, then carefully make your decision. Eating too much can be stopped!! I know, because I stopped eating too much over a yr ago to lose my weight. Its a battle of will power, but it is possible if you want it badly enough. My problem now is that I am close to where I want to be, and I have grown tired of the dieting. Just gotta find my mojo again is all. You do too. Its ok to fall off the wagon, hon. Just make sure you get back on it!! And I have never been on a liquid diet before, but from what I've heard, its very important to do what the doc says for safety reasons!! If you want this surgery to be successful, you gotta be strong and do whats neccessary to make it successful!! It will all work out for you!! I am sure of it. And, you're NOT a failure!! Good luck, and I'm praying for ya!! <<Smile>>
I can't add any more wisdom in terms of what the issues are behind the frantic feelings you're dealing with right now. But maybe a practical word of two with regaining some control.
If you can get rid of the sugar and nothing else you'll stop feeling driven by carb cravings which can be HUGE and very powerful. Don't try to cut back on quantity of food otherwise and if you're hungry reach for some protein. Eat meat all you want. Hard cheese in moderation. But stay away from sugars. Even fruit and especially fruit juice. Eat all you want otherwise for now and if you can get the carbs back under control you'll start to feel a lot more balanced and less driven in general.
Thanks so much for your input. I needed to hear it all! After I got offline I talked to people here about what I was doing, just to keep it from being a secret. Ruins a binge quick if it's not a secret! I poured the rest of the raw brownie mix down the drain and took a nap - I know, I could have gone for a walk, etc. but I figured as long as I stopped eating, I'm doing better than before.
I'm not only stressed about the surgery, I'm going through alot of stuff - all of which is GOOD. Scheduled for Lap Band, buying a beautiful new house, loving the love of my life...I'm self sabotaging by eating too much and making myself feel awful. I just need to keep reminding myself that 'it's all good' and that I DESERVE IT!
Thanks for the tip about the sugar. I think I'll try that. My girlfriend is doing that right now and is doing well.
Out of Control
Back on the wagon...
