[clkchef]

But I made it through!

All I wanted to do was eat. I wanted to eat chips and dip, mashed potatoes and sour cream, a HUGE steak, a juicy burger - any meal that would be fattening and artery clogging.

I didn't want to journal my food. I didn't want to count a single point. I didn't want another sip of water.

By bedtime last night I realized why.

I realized I was pouting. I was mad at the realization that I will very likely have to do something like this for the rest of my life. This isn't a 'quick' fix. This isn't a temporary solution to a interim problem.

This is something I will have to handle and deal with every day. Just like being an alcoholic or addicted to drugs - I'll have to take it one day at a time forever.

I will always have to make smarter choices about food and physical activity. I will never be able to eat just what I want, when I want, every time I want to.

For the first time in my life I realized that in order to lose weight and keep it off. In order to reach a healthy weight .

I have to loose a lifestyle. I have to reach a healthy mindset. And it has to be a 'forever' kind of thing. Otherwise I'll be right back where I stared (plus a few pounds).

It was a tough realization.

So, like I usually do when upset, pouting, frustrated, angry, depressed ... I wanted to eat. I wanted to eat until it didn't hurt or make me angry any more!

The good news? I pigged out on plain, air popped popcorn and 32 ounces of water!

I turned my back on my desire to sabotage myself. I thought about it and I made smarter choices! And I stayed OP. I stayed within my points. In fact, I even managed to bank 4 points!

Hurray!

Carole
289.6/155

[carree]

Whether you realize or not, you turned a corner last night, and you need never look back!

You "heard the click" so keep it going, girlfriend! You will never regret it.

[Diamonda]

Wow, that was a great post. That's the kind of thing I still look for when I browse these message boards. Carole, I can't tell by your post, but it looks like you are just starting out. If so, best of luck. It sounds like you have what it takes. I reached my personal goal about a month ago after many months of work (sometimes two steps forward, three steps back) and it HAS gotten easier. Much easier. Yes, maybe only a small percentage of people keep the weight off, but we're the ones who will do it, I think. Good luck!

--Diamonda
266/135/135.2 (close enough!)

[LM]

Carole.

I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. But you did a great thing!

And P.S. after a while it really is not so bad to live the healthy light life. It's getting your brain wrapped around that fact and happy with it that's the big challenge. Your body will be happy! (And nowadays with all the "lite" food products, it makes things so much easier. My latest love: Healthy Choice Chocolate Chocolate Chunk ice cream: 1/2 cup = 2 points and yes 1/2 cup is sufficient!)

Congratulations on reaching that milestone!!

Laurel

[Raindrops]

Carole you handled yesterday perfectly! Congratulations! It is a tough realization that this is something we will all have to live with forever. I look at it as this also...the good thing is that we can manage it and make changes. There are many other things we could have been born with that we couldn't change!

[ltlshtsmom]

Carole, that was great writing! Congratulations on your choice and I agree with the others....you turned an important corner last night and you should go far in your goals. As you get into it, it really does become easier to make those "right" choices.

Congratulations again and best of luck!

Karen