[rjneeley]

I'm new here and a lot embarrassed that I am. I've recently decided that I'm a compulsive overeater or binge eater or both. I bought a book called "Overcoming Binge Eating" and am following the recommended plan, but it's so slow going that I find myself thinking about food all the time. I'm heavier than I want to be also, probably why I ended up here in the first place. But they don't recommend dieting and overcoming binge eating at the same time. So how do I recover and lose weight? Does it happen or do I need to just get happy with where I am?

I've also found that family and friends aren't taking this seriously. It took a lot for me to "come out" about my problem, but no one wants to talk about it. My DH doesn't even mention it -- just says "So, how's it going?" and gestures to the book. I feel like I'm so alone.

Any advice?
Rachel

[ellis]

Rachel, I'm so glad you've joined us.
You're not the only one with those feelings. I think that many people have eating disorders, but we're not able/willing to admit to it. Don't be embarrassed, hon. You're not alone.
I haven't read the book you bought, so it's difficult for me to comment on their advice regarding not dieting while going through the healing process. What's the recommended plan like? Is it healthy, or is it an all-out binge fest/do as you please?
And how long is the plan?
How much would you like to lose? Is the excess weight a health concern, or is it 10 or 20 pounds that you can "put on hold" until you've got a real grip on the disorder?

As for other people not taking you seriously... that's not uncommon at all. For years I would tell the people closest to me every time I went on a diet, but their responses weren't always what I needed, and so I've learned to reserve my discussions to my friends at 3FatChicks. I now regard my eating disorder as something very personal... too personal to discuss casually.

Hang in there, Rachel. We're here for you.

[rjneeley]

Hi, Ellis, thanks for the response. It really made me feel welcome here

As for that book, the plan they recommend is a 6 week plan to stop binge eating. The first week is just writing down everything you eat, the time you eat it, and why. I'm on to the 2nd week, which is when you start following a more structured plan -- 3 meals, 3 snacks. They don't tell you what to eat, just to eat normal meals or normal snacks, don't eat it really fast, pay attention to serving sizes, etc. The following weeks will have me start trying to figure out how to avoid binges and more psychological stuff.

My weight isn't so great that I need to focus on it right now, but not so little that I feel like I could ignore it. I'm 187, and 5'5" tall -- in the obese catagory on a BMI chart. I've been dieting for 7+ years -- had some success only to regain for various reasons. I'm afraid that if I just set the weight issue aside and focus on the binging only, I'll never get back to it. I also wonder if I don't handle both the issues together, I'll go back to binging if I ever return to dieting. I'd like to get healthy; I'm not concerned too much about what size I wear, I just want to look good in the mirror for myself or my DH (who says I'm perfect as I am).

Why is it that others dismiss eating disorders? I've gotten the feeling from others that they don't take it seriously -- that I could just get over it if I really wanted to. Do they think that I really WANT to feel this miserable? That I want to feel this out of control? That I wouldn't just fix it if I could??? Oh well, I guess I'll just try to get to know all of you here instead

Thanks again for your post. And can you recommend a group of people to chat with here? Are there regulars that post here daily? I think I'd like to get into daily chats with others in the same boat as myself.

Rachel

[ellis]

Rachel, I'm just rushing off to my psychiatrist, and then to the cottage for a couple of days, so I'm going to type fast.

There's an August Chit Chat that you can jump right into. It's just below this thread in
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=64

I've got to run out the door, but I'll try to get back in to answer your other questions before I head off to the cottage... hopefully some of the other girls will see this, and will post, too!
big hugs...

[katrinabgood]

Hi Rachel! Welcome to our world. You've taken a gigantic step, seeking help here, where you can at least discuss your weight issues with people that actually know what you are talking about and feeling. I think that's the reason why "others" seem to dismiss eating disorders. They can't relate because they just don't know what it feels like. Have you ever spoken with someone who is really thin and just can't gain weight, no matter how hard they try? ( I have...my dad. ) Just can't relate. That's why it's so important to interact with people who share the same feelings and situations. We KNOW what each other is feeling. It's very validating to me to read someone else's description of how they abuse food...shows me that I'm not alone...that I'm not just a disgusting pig...but someone with a compulsion that CAN BE OVERCOME.

As far as dieting goes...this time around, I'm not 'dieting' per se. I'm concentrating on eating a balanced diet...lots of fruit and veggies, lean protein, low fat dairy, whole grains...with an occasional treat, like ice cream, so I don't feel totally deprived. Oh, yes! And lots of water!

Listen to ellis...she's the bomb! Come join us over at Aug Chick Chat...and see that we're all going through this in one way or another. We're all here to help each other. Welcome aboard and good luck to you!

[ellis]

Rachel, I am totally running out the door here (DH is packing the car), but I think if I were you, I'd try to continue with the program in the book. It just may "click" for you, and that's what we're all searching for... "The Big Click". I may even check out that book myself.
Come and join us on the Chat thread, and I'll "see" you when I get back.

Kat, you shmoozer, you.