[Alicat]

Hi Everyone,
I'm back on the wagon. I fell off last year and I hit the ground hard. After a long and disappointing relationship with WW and Southbeach I pretty much gave up. I thought, well if I'm going to be fat anyway I might as well eat what I want. And I did. I really did. But now that even my fat clothes don't fit anymore, I've decided to stop licking my high calorie wounds and start over.
It took me a long time to get motavated again. The angel on my shoulder has been telling me to get moving since before the holidays, but the devil on my other shoulder would just stuff a donut in it's mouth and shut it up. This went on until April when the angel finally won, because the devil was too fat to get up and stop it.
Anyway, I've decided to jump in with both feet and I'm using the WW points as a guide but not going to meetings. I am excersizing a good amount. 3 1/2 hours a week minimum light to moderate cardio and weights 1/2 hour, 3 times a week. I really hope this works for me because I can't stand being this size anymore. I just want to be able to fit into the clothes in my closet again.
Also, though my husband and friends have noticed the increased activity, no one knows how much or that I'm also dieting. I'm afraid to say it out loud. So instead I'm coming here in hopes of finding a support group wothout everyone I know labeling me as being on a diet again.
Wish me luck girls!

[cher123]

You'll find a lot of support here. I'm curious, though, why don't you want to tell? Is it just because there have been so many previous "failures." (stupid word) I know we've all been through that! I surely know what it means to backslide--Hey a bag of Doritos can be lunch, if you eat it with guacamole, right?

Anyway, take it slow and good luck to you. Are you writing things down somewhere? I'm doing Core, but I know it would be way to easy for me to "forget" a point or 4 here and there, if I was just keeping it in my head.

[evcolbmom]

Good for you for stepping up and trying again! You do need to tell someone "live" - like a close friend - because sometimes, you need an encouraging voice when you're falling apart and that is better than e-mail! I love the groups too tho - they've been great. Find one that you can check in on a daily basis - that'll help. THeres lots to choose from. I also do WW online, but like the boards for chatting better here. Also, I started using "livejournal.com" a few days ago - it's completely free and you can journal. I've been putting my points and other things on there, and I"m really benefitting from that. You can either keep it private, or you could add buddies (possibly ones you make here) that can look at it and comment. Anyway, just some suggestions. Hang in there!!!!!

[derrydaughter]

Congrats on your efforts! I think you are afraid of failure by not telling anyone you are doing this again. Please tell your friends and family and ask them for support! Just my humble opinion.
I have fallen off the wagon and gotten back on again and again and I know what it's like. I'm not giving up!
Linda in NH

[Alicat]

Thank you all for your kind words. You're right that I'm not telling anyone because I'm afraid of failure. On the other hand, in my past attempts, my friends and family haven't been too helpful either. It's not that they are trying to sabatoge me, it's just that they don't really care that much about the day to day stuff. They don't really have much advice to offer either. I have gone to my husband with questions about weight training and was moderately helpful, but he won't get to excited about me losing a few pounds. Since he can drop 5 pounds in a week by cutting out candy and ice cream, he doesn't really understand my struggle. A heavy friend of mine in NYC lost 45 pounds since January on WW and when I told my husband he was just like "well that's a start". It's not that he's a bad guy, he just doesn't put a lot of importance into my weight aesthetically. And since I'm only 29 and my weight isn't at the point where it's caused heath problems, it's not too important to him.

It's really nice to talk things out with you ladies.

Cher, to answer your question, I am journaling. I have a small note book that I carry around with me and I right down my points. I also keep a work out journal and a spread sheet.This leads me to my next question...
What do you do when you don't know how many points you ate?
I went to someone's house last night for dinner. It was a couple that I had met a few times but we had never dined together and this was my first time at their house. There were 8 of us alltogether and they had quite a spread. Most of the food was pretty healthy looking. Some veggies and a cilantro lime dip for them and the mussles, cheese and triscits, brie with fresh cranberries, the main course was cajun catfish with salad and brown rice. Cheese cake for dessert. I ate a little bit of everything, including some bread (no butter), 2 small glasses of wine and I even had a half of a piece of cheesecake ( I could heat the voices of a thousand ww women saying to share the dessert). I don't think that I was really bad but I don't know how to count either.
I had 16 points left from the day, plus I excersizes for an hour and a half so the best thing I could think of doing was taking on 10 of my flex points and calling it even. I would be interested to find out what other people do.
Thanks for listening.

[mauvaisroux]

Welcome Alicat!

I think many of us have been in the same boat as you at one point or another so don't get down on yourself about it

Sometimes we don't get enough support from those around us so not telling them is just an easier way to avoid any sabotage, critique or not getting any input. I just tell people that I am trying to eat better in order to avoid future health problems because if I say I am trying to diet I either get told I don't need to diet it or people start trying to get me to eat more. I don't think they do it on purpose it is just a subconcious thing. Like when someone is trying to quit smoking and suddenly everyone seems to be offering them a cigarette

I find posting here helps a lot because there are others here going through the same struggles and we understand that losing 1/2 a pound is a big deal when others might not :

Good luck on your weightloss journey

[Alicat]

Yes, that's what I do too. Although, I've always been a kind of healthy eater so it's not too shocking to anyone. And everyone knows that I'm starting to excersize, so no big deal. I have decided that once I lose 10 lbs. I'll say something. I did mention to my walking partners today that I lost 4 or 5 pounds and that felt good.