My first time caving I was a heck of a lot heavier than I am now and I actually cried. It wasn't because I got stuck but because we were up on a ledge and the shoes I was wearing were not working... I mean, I was falling off the side of the wall and if I fell it was a 50 ft drop into a creek ravine. All I could think about was if I fell, someone would have to go get help and that wouldn't be for hours and then someone would have to haul my fat butt out of the earth. And I really thought I was going to die. I could not keep myself on the wall.
It was also a terrible time in my life. I had just thrown out my boyfriend of five years and all our wedding plans. I was miserable and depressed.
Well? Obviously, I didn't die. The caving was hard - very similar to your experience except there was a duck walk with some bats and a couple underground rivers we had to go through. And scaling down the wall was... trying. And it became a very spiritual moment for me later. Because I had made it, and it was harder than I even imagined, and I cried but wow, I made it.
So, you didn't make it through the tiny gap. Yeah, it's a pisser. But you straddled a 35-40ft deep rift, you slid inch by inch for 50ft and you made it. Wow. Thanks a pretty awesome accomplishment.
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