I always used to live and die by my goals. Goals are important in understanding the direction you want to go in. The trouble is, I used them to measure my success. And this just depressed me. I was never good enough.
Here’s an example. I just started working out, was going to the gym a couple of times a week and began sorting out my diet. I kept on looking around the gym and seeing people who looked fantastic and my goal became to look like them. The trouble was, I started comparing myself to them and this was unfair. They had been there for months, if not years. They were well ahead of me on their health and fitness journey.
But even though I had been going to the gym and making steady progress over the course of a month, I didn’t look like they did. Of course I didn’t! But this just depressed me, I was measuring myself against my end goal. So I was never going to be good enough.
The problem was, I never looked back at what I had actually achieved. 4 weeks before I wasn’t going to the gym at all. I was eating pizza most nights and the only exercise I did was with my thumb to switch the TV channel!
But, by the end of those 4 weeks, I was going to the gym twice a week and cooking healthy meals for myself most nights. That was incredible process, only I didn’t realise it at the time. I was so focused on my goal that I forgot to take a look in the rearview mirror and actually realise how far I had come.
The problem is as new habits form and we get used to new routines, we require less mental effort to think about them. So we end up creating new positive habits and sometimes we don’t realise they exist – unless we look back. So, when you feel like you are never going to hit your goal, or are struggling with your self belief, just pause for a moment and look behind you to see the progress you’ve actually made.
This also allows you to ask questions of yourself. What is going well? What could you do better?
There’s also another benefit to looking backwards. Because you get to see the improvements you have made and the tiny wins you have taken – you feel a sense of accomplishment. You feel happy with the progress you made rather than depressed that you still aren't as good as your goal.
Davey - Thanks the reminder! Just what I needed to hear as well. Here's my story...
I started my lifestyle change in March of this year. I realized I would be turning 50 years old in June 2017 and set a goal to weigh 160 pounds by my birthday. At the time I started, I was a half a pack a day smoker, had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, probably pre-diabetic or at least insulin resistant. But, I hadn't been to the doctor for tests or weighing in years.
I started a strict low cal eating plan and went from no exercise at all to 3 times a week for a month, then 4 times a week for a month, then when I was supposed to go to 5 times a week in June, I hit a wall and stopped everything for about 6 weeks. I had been having good success and was losing about 8 pounds a month.
In June, I had several birthday celebrations, an out-of-state wedding, 2 week vacation, etc. Got back on track in mid-July. Changed up my eating plan at the end of August to up my calories because of hair loss due to low calories and too low of fat, I presume. Still had success despite the upped calories, more at a pace of 5 pounds a month.
Then, around that same time I began transitioning from pre-packaged diet foods to whole, grocery foods. Likewise, I continued my progressive increases in exercise monthly, like I had done previously, but this time I DID do it 5 days a week starting in November.
With the transition to real food and a focus on calorie counting, plus monitoring my macros (as opposed to a commercial diet plan/purchased diet food), I began thinking I could have limited amounts of snack foods or treats. In hindsight, this has turned out to be not very good for me or my progress. For comparison, I lost 7 pounds in September, which was great! Then, I only lost 2 pounds in October by month's end, despite being down at one point by 5 pounds. For November, I'm actually up a pound so far. So, all of this is to say that I'm feeling a little discouraged at the moment.
But, Davey, after reading your post I realize I have to look in the rear view mirror and realize that since March I have lost at least 2 sizes, about 30 pounds, numerous inches, body fat percentages, and have implemented a whole new way of eating and habitual exercise (5 days a week now) into my life.
Furthermore, I had a doctor's appointment in October and all of my labs and blood pressure were in the normal range, which is pretty amazing given where I was before. In addition, I quit smoking in March after being a smoker for 16 years.
So, I must say, although I've been in a slump for the last 6 weeks and have not seen results because of my straying from my eating plan, I have made A LOT of progress. Although I might not make my goal of 160 pounds by my birthday in June, I will have regained my health if I keep up with these habits (and ditch the snack foods/treats, of course).
Thank you for giving me a fresh perspective and motivation to keep going!
Davey - Thanks the reminder! Just what I needed to hear as well. Here's my story...
I started my lifestyle change in March of this year. I realized I would be turning 50 years old in June 2017 and set a goal to weigh 160 pounds by my birthday. At the time I started, I was a half a pack a day smoker, had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, probably pre-diabetic or at least insulin resistant. But, I hadn't been to the doctor for tests or weighing in years.
I started a strict low cal eating plan and went from no exercise at all to 3 times a week for a month, then 4 times a week for a month, then when I was supposed to go to 5 times a week in June, I hit a wall and stopped everything for about 6 weeks. I had been having good success and was losing about 8 pounds a month.
In June, I had several birthday celebrations, an out-of-state wedding, 2 week vacation, etc. Got back on track in mid-July. Changed up my eating plan at the end of August to up my calories because of hair loss due to low calories and too low of fat, I presume. Still had success despite the upped calories, more at a pace of 5 pounds a month.
Then, around that same time I began transitioning from pre-packaged diet foods to whole, grocery foods. Likewise, I continued my progressive increases in exercise monthly, like I had done previously, but this time I DID do it 5 days a week starting in November.
With the transition to real food and a focus on calorie counting, plus monitoring my macros (as opposed to a commercial diet plan/purchased diet food), I began thinking I could have limited amounts of snack foods or treats. In hindsight, this has turned out to be not very good for me or my progress. For comparison, I lost 7 pounds in September, which was great! Then, I only lost 2 pounds in October by month's end, despite being down at one point by 5 pounds. For November, I'm actually up a pound so far. So, all of this is to say that I'm feeling a little discouraged at the moment.
But, Davey, after reading your post I realize I have to look in the rear view mirror and realize that since March I have lost at least 2 sizes, about 30 pounds, numerous inches, body fat percentages, and have implemented a whole new way of eating and habitual exercise (5 days a week now) into my life.
Furthermore, I had a doctor's appointment in October and all of my labs and blood pressure were in the normal range, which is pretty amazing given where I was before. In addition, I quit smoking in March after being a smoker for 16 years.
So, I must say, although I've been in a slump for the last 6 weeks and have not seen results because of my straying from my eating plan, I have made A LOT of progress. Although I might not make my goal of 160 pounds by my birthday in June, I will have regained my health if I keep up with these habits (and ditch the snack foods/treats, of course).
Thank you for giving me a fresh perspective and motivation to keep going!
Hi Zoniegirl, it's great to hear how much you've actually achieved since March. I really enjoyed reading your story and the ups and downs you've had. We all have ups and downs, times when we win and times when we fail. It's always important to remember that the times when we slip up are actually because we're pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zones. So, yes, we're going to hit rough patches, if we didn't fail at some point I would say we aren't trying hard enough at life. The important thing when you do is just to take a moment to realise how far you have come and then get back on it.
I'm sure from your story that you will get where you want to go, whether it is by your birthday or not. Just remember, it's not all about the goal - it's about having fun on the journey to get there too!
Thanks, Davey, for your words of encouragement! You've got a great philosophy of life and I enjoy reading your posts. You, too, keep up the great work! Sounds like you are doing very well towards accomplishing your goals.
Make a habit of looking in the rearview mirror
