[Needy2]

Hello everyone, I am new here hopefully I am posting this on the correct forum.

Hello everyone. I have been obese most of all of my life. Three years ago my husband passed away in his sleep next to me from a heart attack at the age of 48. Of course it was a huge thing to get over. I then decided to take better care of myself and lost 50 lbs and did my first race. After the race I thought I would give myself a break and well 2 years later, guess what? I am even heavier than when I started. Why oh why do we do this to ourselves. This time I found my obesity journey a little different. When I looked down at myself I saw a thin person. Which is kind of the opposite how a anorexia person sees themselves.
I have been putting the mental effort into myself and working on my own flaws and really a much happier calmer person, not sure if that is why I had a different look at myself? It wasn’t until I got a professional picture down with my sons when I really saw how obese I was. So I have been back at it, have lost 20 lbs in 6 weeks and really want to find me, the person at a non-obese weight. Who has been told time and time again this is impossible. I say screw that!!
I have been looking back at my childhood and been looking at why I was the fat kid. All I could come up with was because I was teased and had this thought in my head I was never good at sports. My parents never encouraged sports, but never discouraged it. My brother and sister also have trouble with obesity but our parents were ideal weights.
During my marriage I put lots of effort into the family and not so much into me. I think lots of us women can say they have had this happen to them to. I was a pretty passive person didn’t really stood up for myself.
The new me is getting better at standing up for herself but it still is a huge struggle. Currently I have been screwed over by a contractor and the mess has caused me is really making me want to hit the bag of chips, chocolate or any form of sugar based carbs. I find the stress also can totally shuts me down, I am paralyzed on the couch.
How do we handle this, so we just don’t keep putting on the pounds I am up for suggestions.

[lostbutstilltrying]

Hi, welcome- if this is a forum where you feel comfortable, then I say this one is fine. (I belong to several for help with different aspects of my journey.) It sounds like you are getting a good handle on yourself and your own challenges and that sounds like a good start to me!

[twinieten]

Hi Needy, I get what you're saying. I love to eat my feelings! Stress eating, anxiety eating, depression eating.... and it's so wrong that vegetables won't cut it. If you could pig out on a plate of broccoli, that'd be awesome.

I think you're in a great place because you realize what you're doing. You have identified your problem. Now it's just a matter of controlling it and finding new outlets.

1) Exercise. No one ever says "man, I wish I didn't get up early to work out".
2) Supplementation. Chromium? 5HTP? (personally, I love 5HTP)
3) Journalling
4) Keep good snacks in the house. Low glycemic protein bars are great for these types of cravings, and good salty snacks like nori snacks. Salted fruit, yogurt, cottage cheese, berries and cream, etc. I like go for high fat, high protein, low carb. It sits in your stomach awhile and sometimes that feelings is more about being full.

As for that "paralysis". When I get stuck, it's usually because my efforts have not yielded results, so I slide back to old habits- not eating right and not moving. Most of the time the only way through that is to "just do it". it's not about motivation. It's about choice. I choose to sit here, or I choose to put on a pair of shoes and go do something. I start fresh on Monday or a regular basis.

Another things I sometimes do is I set up tracker. Put a red X on every day that you eat right, or exercise and see how many red x days you end up with.

[Needy2]

Thank you lostbutstilltrying. Facing your own mental BS is one thing I need to do but darn it is so hard.

You are right twinieten it is the control part. Let's face it obesity there is a mental issue connection. And I think mine is I am an emotional eater but I think there is something else deep down too. Not sure what it is but I would like to know so I can deal with it.

I am exercising. Depending on the day 1-3 hours a day. I am lucky, I work at a college and do a exercise class at lunch time and have access to the gym. I am enjoying it although I still have those moments before saying oh screw this. Next weekend I am doing a 10 k mud run. Yikes.

Supplements do confuse me. I did belong to Herbal Magic a really expensive weight loss place and I didn't do well on their program. I was starving and moody. I switched to weight watchers 6 weeks ago and so far very happy with it, except for I am getting constipated. Not sure if it is the diet or because of the calcium. Currently I am on omega fatty acids, multi vitamin, calcium and sometimes magnesium (it causes me some serious gut pain). I will research 5HTP. I was on chromium on the herbal magic hard to say if it helped or not.
I never thought journaling would help but it sure does.
I guess WW system would be similar to your tracking system.
Thanks everyone!!

[twinieten]

I used to work at a place that had a gym and it was so nice to be able to get in a little workout during my lunch break! You are so lucky, Needy!

WW out to be a great system to keep you focused and stop you from eating your feelings!

I never felt like chromium did anything for me either, but others rave about how much they like it. I like to use 5 HTP when I need it (serotonin precursor). I wonder if psyllium would help you with the constipation.

[Needy2]

I did start using psyllium a few weeks ago and I have cut back on the calcium and magnesium and things are a little better. I read a bit on the 5HTP maybe it will help. My binge eating thoughts seem to come from emotional things but maybe serotonin could help with that too. I will have to try it

[Karencat]

just read that your suffering constipation - hoped that has eased - my mother always swore by apples - stewed for blockages and grated for the trots
and yes they do help plus if you stew with a just water no sugar very little points on the plan - are you on smart points?

I'm following weight watchers and find if I don't drink enough water and eat at least 2 bits of fruit (just Not Bananas) I have issues with being blocked and a little bloated

Great that you have such easy access to exercise .

always remember the "feel" part of the program too - I am finding it is helping with coping on the overeating and bingeing

hope you are doing well will check in again soon!