OK, I'm going to say a few things that you probably don't want to hear. But I sincerely hope you still listen.
A) A water fast is not going to magically 'fix' you. For one, you don't need to be 'fixed'. For another, fasting without appropriate preparation and medical supervision can cause long term problems - most pertinent to you, it can make you GAIN weight again when you resume eating, up to and beyond your previous state.
B) I strongly recommend you speak to a mental health professional. What you have described sounds like low self esteem, and almost no support system in place. We ALL need help from time to time, and it's important for you to speak a qualified individual in person to start working on long-term strategies to feel better about yourself.
C) Any radical weight loss scheme will not help you lose fat, and keep it off long term. You need to address your underlying eating habits and physical health. I will again strongly recommend, and hope, that you try focusing on quality nutrition and moving often, instead of trying to fast without any preparation.
D) Fasting can be very therapeutic, and some on these forums use them as a fat loss regimen to also help regulate consumption. I think that in your case, it's a bad idea. Some can fast with impunity, but many people end up just creating a very unhealthy binge-purge cycle - similar to what you've described. And that's not a beneficial strategy; it is, in fact, an eating disorder.
I wish you all the best in the future, but very much hope you set aside your desire to fast (at the very least, not for now), talk to someone to start improving your self esteem and body image, and focus on consuming lots of veggies/fruit and quality proteins, and moving more often (load-bearing activities, walking, and hiking are some of your best options).
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Water fasting
