So this morning was my first weigh in after pulling my old WW flex materials out (the only program that has ever worked for me), and happily I am down 5.2Ibs.
Or at least it should be happily, right?
I find myself instead of celebrating my first week of success feeling a tad overwhemled by how far there is to go. I suppose it's like stepping out your front door, walking what feels like a good distance, but then realizing you're still in your own neighborhood.
I also feel impatient and almost panicky in my own skin, like I have to get out of this fat suit before I suffocate and what do you mean it is going to take months and months?!
I know the first week tends to be a big loss then settles to 1-2 Ibs going forward per week (if you're lucky). I find myself doing the math this morning and realizing that now after week 1, at 225 with a goal of 180, it will be August at the earliest before I get there. Which I realize is perfectly acceptable and the whole journey, but from where I sit today feels like a lifetime from now.
Heck, it could even be end of March before I hit my minigoal of being overweight, not obese by BMI standards and May before I get to oneder-land.
Of course the sensible part of me hears this voice and says "yes, and what were you expecting? One week and done?"
Of course the answer is "no," but maybe seeing the # on the scale today made me realize how heavy I am in a way I hadn't internalized before. maybe I'm just really realizing the effort and focus and commitment this will take to work, if I want it to work. Which I do.
All this to say first successful weigh in and I am surprised and confused and feeling a little meh.
But yime to roll up the sleeves and shift focus to week 2.
Hi, NacieP -
I think I understand what you mean. You know, when I was starting out in commercial real estate, I had the same feeling of being overwhelmed. You see, I had to make cold calls every day. Usually, I'd make 100+. I didn't get paid for it. The idea was to get meetings from the calls, hope that the meetings turned into a listing and if the listing sold, eventually you got a pay check.
I looked at the long term goal of getting paid and it seemed SOOOOO far away. It took a great amount of faith to get through every day.
I think that weight loss is like that. You have to have faith that by eating right and exercising that the scale will keep inching down. It may take time, but you will get there. And when you get down that first pant size, it'll be like getting a long deserved paycheck (even though you'll be buying new pants!).
I lost about the same weight you are looking to lose last year--50 pounds, in about the same time you are hoping to lose it. I remember feeling exactly the same way in the beginning--so impatient and overwhelmed and just wanting to be done with it. If I can do it, anyone can and come August I bet you will be exactly where you want to be--you seem determined and that's all it takes (along with planning out your meals ahead of time, cooking/preparing meals really helps). And what helped me was to ONLY eat things I enjoyed eating. Like, really asking myself what I was craving and then preparing healthy versions of whatever it was, day after day, meal after meal. Sounds kind of tedious I know, and it was at times, but just know that those months until August will pass quickly no matter what--all you have to do is take good care of yourself and make good decisions for yourself and you will get there!
Quote:
Originally Posted by NacieP
So this morning was my first weigh in after pulling my old WW flex materials out (the only program that has ever worked for me), and happily I am down 5.2Ibs.
Or at least it should be happily, right?
I find myself instead of celebrating my first week of success feeling a tad overwhemled by how far there is to go. I suppose it's like stepping out your front door, walking what feels like a good distance, but then realizing you're still in your own neighborhood.
I also feel impatient and almost panicky in my own skin, like I have to get out of this fat suit before I suffocate and what do you mean it is going to take months and months?!
I know the first week tends to be a big loss then settles to 1-2 Ibs going forward per week (if you're lucky). I find myself doing the math this morning and realizing that now after week 1, at 225 with a goal of 180, it will be August at the earliest before I get there. Which I realize is perfectly acceptable and the whole journey, but from where I sit today feels like a lifetime from now.
Heck, it could even be end of March before I hit my minigoal of being overweight, not obese by BMI standards and May before I get to oneder-land.
Of course the sensible part of me hears this voice and says "yes, and what were you expecting? One week and done?"
Of course the answer is "no," but maybe seeing the # on the scale today made me realize how heavy I am in a way I hadn't internalized before. maybe I'm just really realizing the effort and focus and commitment this will take to work, if I want it to work. Which I do.
All this to say first successful weigh in and I am surprised and confused and feeling a little meh.
But yime to roll up the sleeves and shift focus to week 2.
I'd be dancing with GLEE if I lost 5.2 lbs in a week--even in a month!!
Weight loss is NOT linear, so I hope you're not setting yourself up for disaster thinking: if I do A, B, C then I will get X results. Gaining is like this, but not losing.
Nacie, I really hope this doesn't come off as sounding preachy. This is all just my opinion. That and a couple $$ will get you a cup of coffee!
Maybe consider a different way of looking at your goals. I know you're already looking at them incrementally but I also hear you saying how long it feels before you'll hit "substantial" goals.
Looking at the big picture is what kept me at a high weight - and gaining - for decades. The heavier I got, the harder it seemed to find a place to start. A goal kept getting farther away and I didn't have the ooomph to even care about starting a journey that would take such a long time.
Then life happened and I started feeling like utter crap. It was hard to walk a couple blocks to have lunch with a friend. My knees hurt 24/7. I was constantly tired. For the first time ever, I decided to just clean up my eating and set a goal of 20 lbs. When I hit that, I set it down again by another 25 lbs. I've just kept moving it down incrementally. I don't really have an "end goal". When I'm feeling the best that I know I can feel, that's where I'll be happy. I'm guessing it will be somewhere in the high end of "normal" to low end of "overweight". I know too for me that what I'm doing has to be forever. I can't be "on a diet" with an end goal weight and no long term plan.
Along the way though, there have been some killer NSVs. The first new bra in a smaller size made me wanna dance. The first time I crossed my legs normally actually took me by surprise! The first time you walk out that front door, walk a good distance and realize you're seeing houses you haven't seen in years I hope will be a major thrill for you. The length of time it took to get there I hope won't matter as much as the fact that you're in a very different part of your neighborhood! And when you're in that neighborhood, I really hope that it seems a better idea to keep taking steps to get further away from where you were and not go back. Because really, how many times do ANY of us want to make this trip?
I know this may sound cheesy, but every day you succeed is it's own reward.
@merowi2 thanks, we are in this cha-cha together, 2 steps forward, one step back! Sending successful thoughts your way!
@TrixiecatLAX Thanks for the encouragement and sharing your real estate story - what I take away from it is regardless of your goal all mountains seem impossibly high until you start climbing!
@oaklandieter It is tedious, isn't it? And perhaps I am dreading that tediousness because I have been down this road before so I know what's ahead. But you are right, I need to adjust my perspective!
@schrierf you are absolutely right, time does go by fast - I certainly hope that in August I am looking back to now thinking wow, amazing how it flew!
@k9owner agreed and thanks for the reminder!
@VickieChickie Not preachy at all, and I appreciate you sharing your experience and insights! I like your incremental advice and am inspired by the journey you have been on!
Thanks again, everyone - sometimes you just need to get out of your own head. Hope you all have wonderful weeks!
First Weigh In and Mixed Emotions
