[lke1989]

I will admit that I don't really have a lot of friends or people that I am close to. I just graduated university and I have had some MAJOR health issues during those years that contributed to a lot of my weight gain, so between being embarrassed about my weight and being very ill I withdrew socially quite a bit, so when I started losing weight I didn't expect people to really say anything as there wasn't really anyone around me who I thought would really notice that much or be comfortable saying anything.

BUT NOW I have lost 117 pounds, it's pretty darn noticeable and I still don't have anyone saying positive things but what I do hear quite a bit of are NEGATIVE comments. For example I have to go to a neurologist every 3 months to manage one of my conditions, and each time she see me she weighs me and I am always consistently about 10-15 pounds lighter than the last time. At my last visit she asked me how much I had lost and I said 117 and she goes "oh, but your still planning on losing more right????" in just a horrible tone, as if that was such a low amount and she insults my weight every time I am there.

And then on my birthday my mom took me out to dinner to a restaurant, something that I only do about 2-3 times a year so I ordered something a bit more unhealthy than what I have been eating lately, and she started telling me I should work out more, even though I am now smaller than she is! Then the other day I was telling her I couldn't wear t-shirts out in public anymore because I was really embarrassed about my loose skin and stretch marks I have on my arms and she starts going on and on about working out - this is a women who has never worked out EVER and doesn't understand that at 117 pounds lost your going to have loose skin but she was saying it was all because I wasn't doing enough. Like obviously I work out if I lost this much weight, but there are only so many hours in the day, I don't know what she expects from me!

Then every single time my grandpa comes over he comments on my weight, every single thing I eat,etc. He says things like "oh have you stopped losing weight? you look nice though I guess....".

I know these don't seem like that big of a deal or really mean comments or anything, it's just the fact that these are the ONLY comments that I get about my weight. I have not had a single person tell me that I look good, or different or anything. I have gone from a size 20 to a size 10 and it's like it doesn't even matter, and it is getting very hard to continue on with it without any validation.

- LKE

[lovemylife001]

Good Evening lke1989, I'm sorry that you are hearing so many negative comments in regards to your success. And that's what it is, success. Your validation is that you are down to a healthier weight and healthier lifestyle.

Keep going and just no that you are a beautiful person at any weight. Every time I see my grandma she ask me if I'm putting on weight. I just laugh it off, she's old and doesn't have a filter lol.

Good luck continuing on your healthy lifestyle journey and don't let the negative derail all of your hard work and efforts.

[Vickie Chickie]

Ike, may I smack these people for you?

Family can be the worst. My mom said some very hurtful things to me over the years - at a time that she and I were both at about the same weight.

Drs can run a close second. I think that some get it - they understand that it's a process and will congratulate you every change you make. Those Docs are the exception though and not the rule.

I do think I know what you're saying. You don't want a ticker tape parade - but the occasional compliment or comment really does help.

Sometimes it's the people we aren't closest to or that haven't seen us in a long time are the ones who notice and are positive and kind with their comments. I do really hope that you cross paths with one of those people in your life soon.

And congratulations on the 117!! That's a major accomplishment and I'm betting that you look like an entirely different person.

[NYFLAgirl]

I understand what you're saying, Ike. I've never received more insulting or just downright stupid comments than the ones regarding my weight loss. Not a lot of people can relate to our situation of losing a great deal of weight so I just don't think they understand that these comments are not only unsolicited but not helpful. You are an incredible person! You should be so proud of what you've accomplished! Don't look for other people to validate your success. You need to be your own cheerleader If no one else will be. From personal experience of not having a lot of family or friends support my weight loss I know that seems difficult. But believe in yourself and be proud of your hard work!

[IanG]

This made me chuckle. So thanks for that.

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand your frustration. But there are so many people on here that think that once the weight goes all the negative comments do too, but it can actually be the reverse and you are testament to that! I also had a lot of comments with my loss that I found tough. Some people preferred me fat. Others told me I was a nicer person etc. etc.

But my main advice is twofold. First, stay the course. You have come a long way. Second, and most important, you now have to build up what you have broken down. Losing weight is half the battle. To kick these Debbie Downers to the curb you have to now start building a healthy body. That means eating healthily, not just for weight loss. And it means exercising.

I lost weight by losing fat and muscle. I now eat very healthily and try to build muscle without putting the fat back on. So my physique is looking good. My hair, eyes and skin shine. And the doubters have finally shut up.

Good luck! Stay strong.

[unicorn22]

Maybe you should make a comment back, like if your mum suggests going to the gym say something like "I find the gym boring to just go alone, why don't you come along with me?" and she might shut up about it (or she might actually want to go to the gym with you and that might not be the best idea…)

I hate it when people make such a big deal over these things, they should keep their comments about other peoples weight/bodies to themselves. I had lost a fair amount of weight previously and I hated all the "good" comments where people were saying how much better I looked, and in my head all I could hear was how they must have been judging my weight in the past. Especially when a guy I used to like when I was bigger tried to hook up with me, and was very persistent even though I wasn't interested, I asked him why he rejected me in the past and he said it was because I was big then but I'm hot now... As if that's some kind of a compliment! He would have dumped me as soon as I put any back on! For this reason I make a point to not tell people who have lost weight how amazing they now look but instead to congratulate them on their achievement instead.

There's so much more to you than what you weigh and I hope the people in your life start looking at you for who you are and appreciate that losing that amount of weight is such a major accomplishment. (Well done by the way!)