I was talking with some ladies on another weightloss board about goal weights (not ideal but more reality, if that makes sense).
My ideal weight would be in the 130s and I don't know where I pulled that number from as I don't think I have ever been in the 130s except when I was a child.
So we are all about the same height and I said I feel so healthy and strong in the 180s and 190s (I have been well into the 300s at my original start). All the other women said their goal is to be 125-140 if all goes as said and done (it's nice to dream!).
I keep thinking about this. When I made it to the 170s, people kept telling me I had no more weight to lose and that I looked sickly. When I was 185-195 people kept telling me I looked good. Well, of course I did compared to the 300s but I was still very overweight.
I know I'll have a lot of loose skin as I stretched my body way beyond it's means but even then, how much can the droopy skin really weigh. It can't be more than 10lbs I'd say.
I guess I'm more or less asking, does anyone have a comfort zone of a higher weight than what the BMI charts, the public, your doctor, etc. says?
I'm a little embarrassed to say I'd be in heaven to be 195 even if I never lost any more. It would give me a 5lb comfort zone to hitting 200 (I never want to see another 2 in front of my weight once I get there again). And all my beautiful clothes hanging in my closet from a couple of years ago would fit like a glove.
I don't know. I think when people get used to seeing you at a very high weight, they see a lower weight on you differently than they would on someone else. I've had people tell me I should stop losing now and I'm still morbidly obese! The people losing the weight can see the same thing, feeling like they're in a perfect place because it's so much lower than they used to be even if they're still unhealthy, and I've also seen people go to extremes to hit that magical number even when they seem great where they are, which is also unhealthy. My sister has been struggling for years to keep at her ideal 130, and with her broad frame, that weight looks very unhealthy on her and is outside any comfort zone of maintenance even if it's still within her BMI range. I think most of us know from looking at progress pics and such that a certain amount of weight can look very different on us than it does on someone else, even when we're the same height as well, and what's good for one may not be best for the other. I have a girlfriend who is 5'5, 185, curvy and gorgeous--it's above her BMI but she rocks it, she's healthy, and she's happy.
I think, at the end of the day, no one has the right to tell you what weight is good enough for you. As long as you're healthy and happy, you feel good, then do you.
I don't know. I think when people get used to seeing you at a very high weight, they see a lower weight on you differently than they would on someone else.
I think, at the end of the day, no one has the right to tell you what weight is good enough for you. As long as you're healthy and happy, you feel good, then do you.
These two statements are so very true. I totally agree. I think that people do get used to seeing the person at the higher weight and just have trouble adjusting to a new lower weight. I know that I try hard to not tell anyone that they "shouldn't" lose more weight. If it is a goal that someone wants to make, then that is up to them. I think that a better way to say it is that if you want to make it to that goal weight, you should! But if you make it there, it might be time to re-evaluate and decide if that is where you want to be.
Of course, it is really up to you where you feel most comfortable.
But in my experience I have really struggled to get below a BMI of 25. I am just above it. One reason is I weight train, which adds muscle. So getting to normal weight is a struggle even if I would like to be there.
Which leads me on to another point. You often look better at lower weights if you work to maintain muscle. Weight loss results in both a loss of fat and muscle which can lead you to looking "gaunt". The skinny fat guy look has derailed my weightloss efforts in the past because it left me looking like cr@p. To maintain muscle, make sure you eat enough protein and exercise. Weight training helps a lot.
I will also add, though, that I bet you 90% of the comments about you looking "too thin" at 170 were rooted in jealousy or simply that these people weren't used to you looking that way. Don't put a lot of stock in what other people say about your weight. I know it's hard, but don't do it.
You figure out what works for you. Sounds like 195 is an awesome goal for right now. Who wouldn't want to relish in a wonderful wardrobe for a little while? But maybe after a few months there you'll decide you want to go lower. Nothing wrong with either of those, as long as YOU are happy and healthy.
Very interesting question. My goal weight of 145 is higher than any I've ever set for myself in the past. It's just at 25 on the BMI scale.
My doctor said she'd be happy with 160 when I was at 255. I'm sure she wouldn't give me me grief if I never dropped below 180 considering how much better my cholesterol, bp, and bs are now.
Me, I'm happy in a lot of ways at 182. However, I would like to be thinner for both aesthetic and performance reasons. Every pound I lose helps me run faster. Lookswise I feel pretty good that my double chin is gone, and while I don't have any illusions that six pack is in my future unless I stop at the liquor store, I would like to be a little less thick through the midsection.
All that said, 145 is just a number. I'm really happy with my WOE and level of exercise and I don't think I'd be willing to cut more calories or exercise more if my current program doesn't get me to that number.
As to the part about people commenting that you look too thin at X weight, I have to agree with Fos about people having difficulty adjusting the perception. Once I hit 170, I start getting the how much more do you want to lose question or you're done, aren't you? If I say I'd like to lose 30 or 40 more lbs. I get some concern.
I can kinda understand why. Along with the fact that 70 to 80 lbs is a big change, I'm a very curvy girl ( DD cup and a big Jlo butt ) no matter what I weigh. I carry almost all of my weight in the middle. I can have a 40 in waist but still have an hourglass figure. I don't think people realize because of the way I dress just how thick I am through the middle.
I would talk to your doctor FIRST. Your doctor is concerned with your health and not what you look like or what others think. If that isn't the case, find a new doctor.
Secondly, when looking at "ideal weights" remember how much the weight loss/fitness industry is pulling in each year. Often, it's these same people that are telling us, as a society, what we need to weigh. Take it with a grain of salt......a big one!
Third, listen to your body! As others have said, this is about where YOU are comfortable. But, use caution. If you think you feel/look great in the 180-190 range then get there, stay there for a while and re-evaluate. At the end it's you that needs to be happy with your weight.
I don't think we're "meant" for any particular weight at all. Then again, I don't really believe in destiny or fate or ideal weights (ideal for what purpose? To live the longest? To feel the best physically? Emotionally? To lift the heaviest object?)
Instead, I think weigh loss/maintenance is just one of many possible factors, priorities and choices we make.
How low do YOU want to go, and what are you willing to do and sacrifice to get there?
There is no right answer. As with many things in your life, you get to decide what you want and what you're willing to do and sacrifice to acheive it.
Deciding that you're "meant to be" anything is essentially throwing away or denying your power of choice in the matter.
If you want to stop working at weight loss, or want to only work so hard and let your weight be whatever that amount of work allows, that's a choice you have every right to make.
Your choice doesn't have to be set in stone, either. You can change your priorities and efforts at any time. Only you can decide how to prioritize every aspect of your life.
You have to be Goldilocks, sample and experiment to find your own personal "just rights" in life.
I say if you feel great, then GO FOR IT! We all discuss how our weight loss is fluid and I think a feeling of happiness with our bodies can rise, dip and change over time. I have felt amazing at 170 and I have felt horrible at 170- Ultimately, if you're happy at 195, then go for it!
You've clearly demonstrated that you rock at maintaining and enjoy 195. If in one year from now, you want to go into a lower decade, then go for it. What's that expression? "Nothing is final 'til you're dead, and even then, I'm sure God negotiates"
Thank you everyone for each and every comment. You all made me think of so many things I hadn't thought of. I will say I laughed at Northernchick's "Nothing is final 'til you're dead, and even then, I'm sure God negotiates".
I guess I just got mentally exhausted thinking people at my height/weight typically want to be in the 130s/140s. I mean, so would I! But I'm trying to keep it real. I guess I can't picture my body being small, it's always been big/bigger/biggest. :/
As far as my doctor is concerned, the lower the weight the better. I'm keeping off over 100lbs for over 2 years so he celebrates that for me all of the time, maintenance is hard even when you are still heavy!
I exercise a lot but maybe it's my new normal so I need to ramp it up again. I follow a pretty typical diet of 1200-1500 calories but when I go off plan, I *really* go off plan. I'm a carboholic and it wouldn't be unusual for me to gain 7-8 pounds overnight. Granted most could be water as it would have to be 24000+ calories turning to fat and I know I didn't do that.
Thank you all for such thoughtful and insightful replies. I'm going back to read them again and see what I can plan to get myself down to 199. It's so close yet so far away.
Anyone think we are meant to be a higher weight?
