[laceyj]

Hi everyone,

I've posted a few times on the challenges to stay binge free. I wish I could!I'm stuck in a vicious cycle. My binges usually happen anywhere from 2-4 weeks apart. It seems like once I reach week 3 or get to the month mark, the BINGE happens. It starts slowly. A couple days of eating a little more calories than normal...then I try to get back on track, back to perfect eating and then BOOM! Like today. I had plans to get out today, but I was so tired and in a bad mood. My breakfast was a bit larger than normal, so I got a bit worried and took a nap so I'd feel better. It just put me in a foul mood. All day I was trying to keep this stupid binge at bay but it blew up around 6. And now I've eaten more than 3,000 calories on weird things around the house like PB2, lots of toast, microwave popcorn, frosting and a lot of wine. I feel like giving up. I don't know why I do this. I know I'm lonely and that can contribute to the problem. It's hard for me to get out and do things and I feel like staying in and eating. I'm an attractive and friendly person, but I feel so empty. I cancel dates and dinner with friends because I'm afraid of going over calories, only to have a boring miserable Sunday where I binge on things I don't even like a lot. Sorry about the depressing rant. I just feel like there's no end. It's been about 3 years I've been doing this. I just want my life back!

[jojojo85]

read my thread

[drixnot]

From my reading... people who binge don't allow themselves enough calories in their everyday diet. Perhaps you should visit a nutritionist.

[mkroyer]

Originally Posted by laceyj

Hi everyone,

. I know I'm lonely and that can contribute to the problem. It's hard for me to get out and do things and I feel like staying in and eating. I'm an attractive and friendly person, but I feel so empty. I cancel dates and dinner with friends because I'm afraid of going over calories, only to have a boring miserable Sunday where I binge on things I don't even like a lot.
I just want my life back!

This resonated so deeply with me. Some people can so eloquently put to words the **** i experience everyday

[laceyj]

Mkrover: I'm relieved to know someone can identify with me, as many of us do on this board. I'm up 5 pounds, but it has only been 2 days, and I think I'll have a better idea of how much I gained in a few days. You know what sucks too? I'm kind of jealous of other people that binge on things like muffins and cake, chips and chocolate! My binge was on kind of bland stuff. I know that sounds ridiculous, but if I want to binge, I should at least do it right! All kidding aside, I have to stay motivated. What other choice is there really?

[Desert Dweller]

Stop being afraid of calories. I think your anxiety over calories helps to fuel your binges. Don't let a diet ruin your social life. You're better off dealing with the fear of going over calories then you are going to be beating yourself up over it.

Counselling could help. It may not be necessary as it depends on what is causing you to binge. If you are being too restrictive with calories then you will end up binging so it's better to be satiated and able to eat regularly then Hungry and planning a binge.
It disturbs me that you say perfect eating. What is perfect eating anyway? Why is it that you must be a perfect eater?? Perhaps work on 'healthy' eating. That means there are treats in there too.
Healthy eating comes along with a healthy life . A healthy life means not having to fear your food, not having to fear indulging on social occasions.
You have so much going for you. Find out what's causing you to feel this need to binge. Keep a diary, monitor how you feel and why when you want to binge. Don't hide... Go out and enjoy yourself. If you are really struggling please do see a counsellor, they have a lot of insights that can change the way you think about the problem..

Recognise that perfection is a goal that is best left to the side. How about making happiness your number one priority.
Keep posting, you can do this.

[bargoo]

lacey, are your stats up to date ? If you are 116 pounds at 5'2" , that is not even overweight.Your binges may be keeping you from your goal of 110 but you are not obese. Do you live alone ? If so keep some of those triggers out of your house, that might help .