Recently, I've noticed that I haven't really been as happy as I used to be, or as I would like. No, I'm not suicidal, I'm not clinically depressed, I feel like there's something bearing down on me...
My senior year of high was great: I was taking all the classes I wanted, making good grades in them (advanced classes, mark you), having fun with my robotics team, having fun with my friends - life was great! My only stress was what I was going to do in college.
I'm currently going to a community college and I've decided to double major in Japanese and Physics. While that's good and everything, I've lost a lot of what I've had: my friends have moved away and I barely see them, I'm not with my robotics team anymore (well, I will in January, but it won't be the same, I think), and I've just set myself so that I don't get too comfortable with my school, because I'll just transfer in two (now 1 and a half) years. On top of that, activities that I used to like doing, like walking my dogs while listening to music just isn't as appealing anymore. I want to do them, but when I do, I lose interest fast.
Am I just stressed? I realize people have to go through severe amounts of change at around 18 up until 24-26, so is that it? It's entirely possible I'm just experiencing a hormonal shift from who knows what... And it's making me want to cry.
I would consider myself adjusted, I guess. I'm making good grades and everything, but there's just all these questions: Am I going to be able to afford the education I want to get? Where can I find a good job to start saving money? Do I need to be doing more? Why do I feel like doing something but at the same time don't?
And then it's cold and I don't feel like running...
Ugh, thanks for reading, anyone. Replies would be especially helpful, that way I can better target what's wrong and how I can cheer up for the long term.
i think alot of that is related to the loss of things, like your friends and your team....i remember experiencing that when i moved away to college...and alot of that is related to stress about the future...i also remember feeling alot of what you are feeling - busy, stressed, feelings of loss, uncertainty, exhausted from classes, unable to relax, etc
for me, when i'm feeling like you said - losing interest in activities fast, and feeling like doing something but not at the same time - is when i am mentally and physically exhausted and drained...
if your college offers counseling, it might be worth looking into just to help sort out your feelings...perhaps also talk to a career counselor to get some certainty about the future of your career choices...make sure to get enough rest and eat right (i remember living on cheese slices/bread sandwiches ugh)
just remember that college isn't forever and that things will smooth out, become less stressful, and that you'll get through it
College was hard. Life is harder. These feelings happen and will come and go, that I can promise you.
The only thing that ever stays the same is change. Sure, things might be different, but look at how bright of a future you have! Who knows what good things could happen and what great people to meet lay ahead?
Chin up. There's always a silver lining to that cloud. Unless it's mushroom, then it's Iridium and Strontium 90..but still! It would be bright!
oh man did I ever change from 18 to 25. I don't even recognize myself anymore. It is definetly a transitioning phase but I'm not sure thats all of it. Not knowing youre direction in life yet could play a part, im doing two degrees right now and have no idea what im doing afterwards and it gets me down too, im not worried about paying for school-im canadian. but i am worried about choosing, so maybe thats part of it for you too? Im just trying to relate. Dont let it get you down tho, your life is changing and itll be an adjustment
You could be going through 'quarter-life crisis.' I feel like I went through one in college. Freaking out a little, not sure if my plans would work out.
I do not mean this in a hurtful way, but:
What are you plans with your double major? What do you want to do with that?
Personally, I learned a lesson the hard way. I majored in something completely impractical (not saying yours are impractical) for what I wanted out of life. I'm fortunate that I finished college without any debt, but now I'm back in college (while working full time!) and taking on debt, because it took me this long to figure things out. When I finish in 2 years, I'll have more opportunities for a career, vs the job I have now. (Oops...should I get off my soap box?) I'm just advising you to think about your long term goals when you're picking a major.
It sounds like you're lonely, and that you're hesitant to get close to people because you'll be leaving in a year and a half. You can still make friends! No one says you have to keep friends forever. But what if you meet people who you want in your life?
Are there dog parks nearby? Maybe you can meet other dog owners and find a buddy to go for walks with.
I think the transition from high school to college or to working is hard. I had an especially hard time at age 20-21. But by 24 I was feeling in the groove, and it's been good since.
Also consider that this is the time of year where there's less light (affecting our mood) and you get less vitamin D (critical to your mood). Now would be a great time for you to develop some good habits for happiness and health such as meditation (or prayer), yoga, breathing exercises, journaling, etc. A book I've recently read that I wish I'd read at your age is "Spontaneous Happiness" by Dr. Andrew Weil, MD. It goes over everything from diet, supplementation, exercise and mental habits to improve your overall happiness.
Last edited by EagleRiverDee; 11-28-2012 at 01:43 PM.
Reason: spelling
You are asking EXCELLENT questions concerning your future. I only wish more people your age would ask those same questions.
I'm no counselor, but I do have a question. Are you getting enough sleep? Sometimes college students have a tendency to push themselves on not enough sleep which can cause the melancholy feelings you've been having.
Similar to the results of lack of sleep can be lack of sunlight, or even lack of certain vitamins. Perhaps look at any physical changes you've made recently that could be affecting your mood.
edited:
(I probably should have read Dee's post before posting mine. )
oh man did I ever change from 18 to 25. I don't even recognize myself anymore. It is definetly a transitioning phase but I'm not sure thats all of it. Not knowing youre direction in life yet could play a part, im doing two degrees right now and have no idea what im doing afterwards and it gets me down too, im not worried about paying for school-im canadian. but i am worried about choosing, so maybe thats part of it for you too? Im just trying to relate. Dont let it get you down tho, your life is changing and itll be an adjustment
Canadians don't have to worry about paying for class!? How come?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quiet Ballerina
You could be going through 'quarter-life crisis.' I feel like I went through one in college. Freaking out a little, not sure if my plans would work out.
I do not mean this in a hurtful way, but:
What are you plans with your double major? What do you want to do with that?
But what if you meet people who you want in your life?
Are there dog parks nearby? Maybe you can meet other dog owners and find a buddy to go for walks with.
Well, I haven't been too worried about careers. I know that things are sorta up in the air right now, so I wasn't going to have any expectations. I've considered being a translator, being a teacher (Japan or US), and other things. I love Japanese and Physics, so I figure whatever job calls for my majors will be one I'm interested in.
I've had other problems with friends in the past, so that's not the only reason, but I see what you mean.
If we have any dog parks (I'm not sure we do) I'd have to drive there, and I can't drive on my own yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EagleRiverDee
Also consider that this is the time of year where there's less light (affecting our mood) and you get less vitamin D (critical to your mood). Now would be a great time for you to develop some good habits for happiness and health such as meditation (or prayer), yoga, breathing exercises, journaling, etc. A book I've recently read that I wish I'd read at your age is "Spontaneous Happiness" by Dr. Andrew Weil, MD. It goes over everything from diet, supplementation, exercise and mental habits to improve your overall happiness.
I had no idea about the vitamin D thing. Usually I'm up and about at night, which has lead me to self-diagnose Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. I'll try getting more sunlight. And I'll look into that book.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vex
You are asking EXCELLENT questions concerning your future. I only wish more people your age would ask those same questions.
I'm no counselor, but I do have a question. Are you getting enough sleep? Sometimes college students have a tendency to push themselves on not enough sleep which can cause the melancholy feelings you've been having.
Thanks, my teacher/adviser told me something similar to that.
I think, yes, I'm getting enough sleep, but my schedule is screwed. I only have two days in a week where I have to get up in the morning. I've heard that's a detrimental factor, but I just don't have the drive to fix it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Terri Silva
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34
I don't presume to know your beliefs, but I know I can always find peace and truth in the Word of God.
I'm atheist... >.< I'm glad it helps you to believe in Him though.
Sorry to be blunt, but I'm not sure I understand what solution you're looking for.
Your friends have moved away, but you're hesitant to make new ones. You're going to be at your community college for another year and a half, but you don't want to settle in. You'll be participating in a robotics team that you previously enjoyed, yet you're already writing it off and expecting it to be less fun than it was before. You're bored with activities you used to enjoy, like dog walking, but aren't sure about mixing things up to make them more interesting. You know that your sleep schedule needs to be more regular even though you only have to wake up early 2 days per week, yet you don't have the drive to change it.
One of the questions you asked was "Where can I find a good job to start saving money?" and yet....your answer to what you'll do with your major is sort of 'see where the wind takes you.' Not to sound like your mom, but have you looked into what job possibilities you'll have? Do you know what the requirements are to be a translator or teacher?
You asked if you need to be doing more. Truth be told; yes, you do.
Get yourself into a regular sleep schedule. Make the time to be active. Try and put yourself out there to at least make acquaintances. If you want things to change, you have to help them along.
Well, that must be one of my problems then, I guess. I never know what I want.
To clarify, I meant a temporary job. Finding a low-paying job is kinda difficult, and I guess since my parents aren't expecting me to work, I've been kinda picky about it. I have been looking though.
I haven't had a consistent sleep schedule in the past, so I don't really think it will help. It makes me happier to be up late. I actually do have acquaintances in my classes so that they're not all horrible, I'm not completely shutting everyone out.
I think I'm better now though. I appreciate everyone's responses. It was just one of those phases where you realize all the bad stuff instead of the good.
Ah. temporary job. Sorry I misunderstood. With that, just make sure it is something that will not make you go crazy. Especially since you'll be in school at the same time.
I didn't mean to imply you were being a hermit; not having friends sucks and it can be very draining emotionally. That's why I suggested making an effort.
consistent sleep schedule doesn't automatically mean going to bed by 9pm. You know your body better than I do. But in terms of a regular schedule -- don't knock it til you try it.
Last edited by Quiet Ballerina; 11-30-2012 at 01:29 PM.
Is this your first year of college? If so, it's a very transitional time. Lots and lots of changes.
Hang in there.
Having put two kids through college, one changed colleges and degrees once, the other changed colleges, 4 times, but never changed his degree. They are twins. I can say, it takes a bit of time to figure it out. The one who only changed once, got a business degree in real estate and finance and is now a state trooper and swat sniper. The one who didn't change degrees but colleges started out in the medical field, which he still does part time, but now teaches high school science and biology and coaches football.
Take a breath, and just relax and enjoy the ride. My boys are still friends with some of their college buddies after 10 years. Neither one is actually doing what they went to college for, but they found their calling and are Happy, Happy, Happy!
Not so happy anymore... (venting)
)
Especially since you'll be in school at the same time.
