[strawleyl]

SOOO I'm sitting here and think I'm over thinking right now or something i dnt know. I Jst what to cry right now because dieting is stressing me out warning what I eat making sure points are ok excercising......its like I feel my whole life is being consumed by it all and im gettin quite discouraged. I kno that I cnt lose over night all the weight but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere with it .....n I Jst feel like giving up....I wish I was careful with what I ate before and not gained all this ridiculous amount of weight ....i wish that I would've eaten healthy when I was preggo wit my son I wish I would of taken better care of myself in general this jst all sucks! Im Sry I Jst needed to vent n let it all out! I Jst dnt want to.be big any more.....I hate looking in the mirror n not feeling pretty nemore n Jst seeing all my flaws I hate having to wear clothes I dnt wanna wear Jst to cover up certain areas I hate not.being ablr to keep up wit my son cuz I'm too tired to run around with him!
I want to renew our wedding vows because due to him being in the marines we only did a court wedding but I dnt want to look back at my pics and want to burn them cuz I dnt like how I look....... :/ I Jst want to be back to the old me......where the world didn't seem as if they were judging me. Cuz I didn't care and I was comfy in my own skin able to stand up for me bcuz I had that confidence.....that I now lack....
This jst all sucks......Sry dnt want to put a damper on thinga I Jst needed to.vent!

[Candeka]

Getting started is very hard. I remember spending HOURS each day just consumed by thinking about my weight, what to eat, what I should cook, if I should exercise, why types of food I should eat. It was just never ending.

However, after a while it just becomes routine. It becomes second nature and you just naturally know what you should have for breakfast or dinner (doesn't mean you will ALWAYS eat that tho!)

Everyone deserves to love their body and be able to look at pictures and fall in love with the memories that they bring back. A lot of people use the saying "Being fat is hard, losing weight is hard, maintaining is hard, choose your hard" which I personally find to be very true. It's hard to stick to eating better sometimes, but its also hard to look at yourself in the mirror and want to crawl under a rock. Just know that it does get easier and the hard work is so worth it!

[kimminy]

I think everyone has days where they feel really frustrated! Try to focus on small short term goals, like "I want to lose 5 pounds" and also long term goals like "in a year I want to be able to bike 25 km" or something like that.

Try not to feel guilty, it will just make you vulnerable to unhealthy behaviour. It's true we all did this to ourselves, but the great part is we can undo it! We didn't get fat overnight and we won't get skinny overnight either.

Remember, one day you'll look back on all this and be happy you kept at it! It's going to be hard at times so I'm glad you can vent to us all! You're doing great. You're already 17 lbs lighter! Really think about how much 17 lbs of fat is, it's a lot...and you lost it! So celebrate that

[strawleyl]

U guys made me cry ready these comments I'm so glad I have somewhrre i can go people oisten and dnt criticize me but instead incourage and honestly know what its like to be there thanks sooo much u Jst dnt kno how much I appreciate it!

[alitorry]

Oh I totally understand how you feel. Yep, felt the same way about gaining the weight mostly after delivering my first son. But the good thing is that you're working on it now, I think that's great and like one of my favorite sayings 'a year from now, you'll be glad you started today'. I know it's overwhelming now, but like others have said, it will become easier and more routine for you. You can do it!!!

okay, first thing, are you on a blackberry? my friend's texts come out exactly the same way as your posts- bit hard to decode.

anyways, on to your frustration - i know exactly how you feel . buildwise, we're about the same - you're heavier than i, but you're also way taller, so we probably look the same, shapewise.

personally, i LIKE being big. the more weight i lose, the more stressed out i get. i don't like being small - when i'm big, guys leave me alone and ppl listen when i speak. when i'm small, guys will not leave me alone and for some reason, even ppl that knew me when i was big think i suddenly got stupid bec "everybody knows" fat chicks are smarter than skinny ones.

but that's just the flip side of the coin.

the biggest amount of stress you're feeling is bec you're making your weight a value judgement - "fat" = "ugly" = "failure" = "loser".

i remember my mom (always heavy) went to mexico with her girlfriend who was a successful catalogue model - she could've been a catwalk model (right height, right build) but... well.... her face. her face was definitely a problem. nose like an olympic ski jump. but she was very striking with the big mane of flame-red (dyed) hair and her makeup on. mom was plump with a thin thatch of baby-fine pale blonde hair (she's from finland).

anyway, they went to mexico and from the moment they landed, the guys were ALL OVER mom - 3 of them asking to carry her bags, liz had to tap someone to get them for her. outside the airport, same thing - guys smiling at mom, ogling her up and down front and back, inviting her for drinks and coffee and whatnot.

mom was getting more and more uncomfortable, certain that someone was taking the piss, and finally asked the cab driver what the heck was going on - why was she getting all the attention and not her friend who is a real fashion model?

the cab driver looked over the top of his shades out the window at liz (who was still loading her bags) and said "that?! that is food for dogs - all bones."

you will ALWAYS find men who are either attracted to a woman of stature or who will see past the packaging to the person within.

so the only reason for not liking your size is that YOU don't like it,. which is totally fair.

instead of looking in the mirror and thinking "omg, i'm so ugly! i'm a disaster! i look like shyte!" etc, switch it up. never mind the "emphasize the positive" stuff you hear - personally, i never found it much use to rhapsodize about my amazing eyes when i know darned well there's a malformed lip and nose right under them that isn't going away (hare lip and cleft palate - one of those things).

when you look in the mirror, look at yourself as a work in progress: "okay, thighs are a bit heavy and i have problems keeping up with my son - add more cardio and lower-body strength training; tummy's hanging - it's hurting my lower back, so i need to improve my posture, do core work, and maybe look into a support garment" and so on.

nothing you see in the mirror is permanent and it's certainly not a reflection on your value as a person.

look at it this way: if you're such an awful human being as you see yourself in the mirror, should you be looking after a child? do you think it makes your son feel happy knowing that the mommy he loves more than anything in the world hates herself?

so let's get on our big girl panties and keep on keepin' on and one day it'll all be just a bad time our lives that we got past.

heck, maybe we could even be as annoying as valerie bertinelli - "and look at me now!!!!"