Getting Derailed
Ok, this is going to be pretty long and rambly, so if you actually read it all, thank you!
So I've been doing pretty good with my weight loss... I'm down ~25 pounds since the end of August which is really good for me, and hardly even seems real. But for the past couple weeks I've been feeling "off my game". I've been making excuses - It's exam time, I have bigger things on my plate. I hurt my foot, so my running was off track. It's the holidays, therefore this is inevitable.
But I think the real issue is that I've gotten fed up with being single. I was in a relationship for almost 3 and a half years, and it ended over a year ago. It was very difficult to get over, but I am over it... we ended it on good terms, there is no bitterness or anger involved, and I made an effort to heal in a productive manner... I didn't get involved with guys to try to block out the feelings, I didn't go nuts with partying... In fact, the past year has been amazing for me. I've made so many friends and made so many positive changes in my life. I'm happy with myself and I no longer feel like I need someone else to make me happy or to be my source of self esteem.
For some reason though, for the last few weeks I've been feeling so FRUSTRATED with being single. Most of my good friends are in long-term relationships, and my roomie is recently engaged. The one girl I'm close to who is single left town last week to go home for the holidays and then to England on an exchange, so I guess I'm feeling a little alone in that. I feel frustrated because I have a hard time even meeting guys... I'm Christian and that's very important to me... meaning it has to be important to any guy I date, too. So that makes it really difficult - it's not like I can just go to a bar and pick someone up, or any of the usual settings where people meet. Pretty much the only way to meet guys is at church/church-related activities, which has its own difficulties.
Anyways, all this to say... As counter-productive as it is, my frustration seems to be resulting in a less than enthusiastic attitude towards the healthy eating and exercise habits I've been working to develop. I'm not consciously emotionally eating (eating to mask or cope with feelings is something I've been trying to eliminate, specifically to prevent binge eating) but I feel like I am an eating machine. I constantly snack, I buy food that isn't great for me... I start out counting my calories every day, but about halfway through I just give up because I don't really know what I've eaten. I'm not bingeing, but I'll have a pudding here, some candy there, crackers and cheese, etc. I don't THINK I'm hugely over my calories, and I haven't been gaining, but I hate this feeling of not being in control of my eating and of constantly being frustrated with myself - both because of my eating habits and because I'm even bothered about being single.
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has been here, and if so, how did you cope? How do you snap yourself out of it and get back on track? I have been feeling so good about myself and my weight loss, I don't want this to make me fail, and for such a stupid reason, too. I'm happy with my life, I'm rarely bored, I always have someone to hang out with and I'm involved in lots of things, and I hardly ever even feel lonely. I don't know why I am letting this whole being single thing affect my weight loss, or why it even bothers me at all.
Thanks again if you read this, sorry if it doesn't make sense or just seems like I'm whining - although maybe I am, lol
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