Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
I tend to feel really depressed and lonely at night time. Like in despair. It's so bad it makes me procrastinate from going to bed because I feel like I have to cheer myself up first or something. E.g. it's currently 12:43am here. I feel like crap. Usually I'm ok during the day. Anyone else have/had this?
Yes. For me it's usually related to being overtired. Going to bed and getting myself to sleep using simple meditation techniques usually works. If there's something specific that is upsetting me, I either try to get it done or think it through with the aid of my little self-help book.
Why do you think that you feel lonely and depressed at night?
I'm not sure. I think its because im alone at night and there's nothing to do to keep busy and hide from my problems and emotions. I'm rather unhappy with how my life has been to date, especially my friendships and relationships which have been quite volatile. I don't have many friends and though I broke up with the ex of over a year in July, I'm still not fully over it. I had a dream last night that he got a new girlfriend and I was so upset/angry. So I feel incredibly lonely. Blah.
I'm not sure. I live in a fairly geographically-isolated area on the outskirts of Sydney, activities are at least a 20 minute drive away. I'm losing weight because I think it might help with self-esteem, which in turn will help me to make new friends. I've had such a hard time making friends at uni, I just finished my second year and I've only made TWO friends that I still talk to and see regularly. It costs so much money to join clubs and societies, and I'm not really interested or passionate about any of them, which isn't good either :/ what else could I do to keep busy?
Yes, I get like that too...it is especially hard on me when it is Winter and it gets dark at like 530-600ish ...dark is depressing...I need more light in the Winter ...but I try and remember it is only for a few months.
HOpe you feel better
I agree usually at nighttime is when I have time to think about my life. I'm very lonely no friends, no boyfriend. When I was overweight I pushed a lot of my friends away and the college that I attend now doesn't have much of a social life.
I'm not sure. I live in a fairly geographically-isolated area on the outskirts of Sydney, activities are at least a 20 minute drive away. I'm losing weight because I think it might help with self-esteem, which in turn will help me to make new friends. I've had such a hard time making friends at uni, I just finished my second year and I've only made TWO friends that I still talk to and see regularly. It costs so much money to join clubs and societies, and I'm not really interested or passionate about any of them, which isn't good either :/ what else could I do to keep busy?
Living somewhere isolated can make things a bit more challenging, and university's not always as good for making friends as people say it will be. But hey - you don't need friends to get your degree.
You know what sorts of things interest you better than anybody else will, but here are some ideas for things can be done at night:
Sleep
Exercise (DVDs, exercise mats, and small dumbbells are relatively inexpensive and can be used at home)
Read (for school or fun)
Write
Arts and crafts (e.g., drawing, knitting)
Play or listen to music
Solve games or puzzles
Meditate
ETA: Amateur radio, even though that's pretty geeky and it does cost a bit of money to get started. Just throwing it out there. Oh yeah, and - amateur astronomy. Also a somewhat esoteric hobby, and maybe not even feasible if you live somewhere with a lot of light pollution, but there are people who enjoy it.
If you can, it might be worth it to make a point of going out once every week or so to a coffee shop, bar, or show (or whatever) just to get out of the house and be around people. And even if you're not super-interested in any of the clubs or societies on offer, are their fees structured in a way that would allow you to join for a finite period of time, like a semester, without incurring a long-term obligation? Trying new things, even if you don't think you'll be crazy about them, can be a good way to learn stuff you otherwise wouldn't have known and make friends.
Also, even though it's not generally a nighttime activity, have you considered volunteering for any organization or cause that you think is interesting or worthwhile? There are no guarantees, but I've found it to be a good way of doing something useful while being able to get out of my shell and expand my circle of friends and acquaintances (which has helped me get jobs).
Thanks, they're some good ideas. I do want to go out at least once a week, even more, but I'm so sick of trying to organise stuff with my few friends, they're always "busy" and I'm the one making the effort.
With the clubs and societies, to join them it doesn't cost a lot (maybe $10-20, not sure about maintenance fees) but before you can join any clubs at my uni, you have to have a student union membership which costs about $100 per year
I am always lonely, but I tend to despair a lot more at night. Most people I know loved college (I graduated in june) but I had a really hard time making friends. I always have people who are acquaintenances but when I try to make the relationships something more, it fizzles out - like you I start noticing I'm making all the effort and no one is really reaching out to me.
I'm unemployed right now, but I keep busy during the day with applications, prepping my meals, taking care of chores, but it's harder to ignore things at night when things slow down (I'm a binger and probably 95% of my binges are at night, when I'm despairing.
Oh, wow. I'm in shock, because I feel the exact same way, even to the point of begging my husband to stay up with me (even if he's sleepy). It's worse for me on Saturdays, and it sometimes causes me to stay up so late I miss church on Sunday (because I'm hoping something good will happen, so I stay up and wait around online or write on my stories).
Quote:
Originally Posted by popspry
I always have people who are acquaintenances but when I try to make the relationships something more, it fizzles out - like you I start noticing I'm making all the effort and no one is really reaching out to me.
This really resonates with me, because it feels like everyone (except my husband) only sees me as an acquaintance and nothing more, and even the actual rare friends I have, I'm the one who initiates the conversation, I'm the one who puts forth the effort. It's so depressing, because I feel like if they really liked me as a friend, then they'd seek me out first sometimes.
My husband and I don't have any friends that come over or even talk to us in person/on the phone. The only people we associate with are either online or my parents and brother next door, and church people on Sundays and Wednesdays. That's it.
We are unemployed and cannot drive, so we carpool with my mom until I can learn to drive (which doesn't seem to be happening). My mom has fibromalgia on top of arthritis, so she is in a lot of pain all the time, so that makes our trips to town cut down to once a week. And when we go to town with her, it's strictly business. We ONLY go for necessities: grocery shopping, paying bills, seeing the dentist/doctor/vet if needed. That's it.
So when I go on sites like Facebook and see all of the people I went to school with bragging about hanging out with friends or going out it makes me feel depressed, and like I'm wasting my life. I guess Saturdays are the worst, because most people have their social gatherings then, and so there's not a lot of stuff going on online since everyone is out with their friends (who aren't me). Sometimes I feel like my only joy comes from food....
Last edited by 3FCer344892; 11-29-2011 at 11:54 PM.
I'm the same. Not enjoying uni like everyone else, haven't made many friends unlike everyone else. I'm always the one making an effort and asking, every single weekend, and nothing ever happens, even with my supposed "best friend". I've burned through so many friends over the past 4 years or so, I'm sick of drama I just want a small group of close friends I can rely on but I feel I will never meet that. Just like you I feel like I am wasting my life.
That used to happen to me after weight training. I'd work out, and for about an hour after I would be in such a crushing depression that it was unreal. I never did figure out what caused it but it went away on its own. I'm sure it was hormonal and something about working out messed up my hormones temporarily, but no one has ever been able to tell me why it was going on.
I sometimes wonder if I have some kind of bad aura or something surrounding me, that makes me an undesirable choice of a friend. I've tried acting nicer, being more social (which is hard, because I'm socially awkward from my lack of being sociable), but I guess it just comes off as fake. So, they don't like the real me or a fake me.
I have a lot of friends and I still feel this way!!!
My husband lives overseas for the time being... and I live here alone with my 2 kids. Once they are in bed I just hit a total funk. I don't know how to explain it. I do the same thing... stay up way too late waiting for things to turn around and then regret it in the morning.
Why am I like this, is anyone the same?
Oh yeah, and - amateur astronomy. Also a somewhat esoteric hobby, and maybe not even feasible if you live somewhere with a lot of light pollution, but there are people who enjoy it.
