[Touch]

I have live with my b/f for over a year and a half...but I have also gained 27 pounds!!!!!...I'm scared he'll leave...I'm tryong to lose weight...I'm scared it isn't enough

[carree]

Dear Touch,

You are a very special, unique human being. In all the history of the world, there has never been, nor will there ever be anyone just like you. It's time to believe in yourself, and if you want to lose weight, to do it for you and you alone.

Take each precious day one at a time. Baby steps. Like someone once said, "FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY."

Keep posting and let us know how you're doing!

Love,
carree

[ebe]

hmm that sounds like kind of negative motivation if you ask me, touch...i mean any motivation for positive change is probably good, BUT focus on positives and do good things for yourself.

[moe]

Touch, First, I JUST LOVE YOUR AVITAR!!!

Anyway, I totally understand what you are going through. I have been married for 2 years and since our wedding, I GAINED 30 POUNDS!!!!!! However, I am trying to lose weight for me now. No one else. My husband has never commented on my weight gain and I know he can see the extra weight. I am dressing more "frumpy" these days because of how I feel about my body.
My husband loves me for me - and I feel the same about him. Your boyfriend probably loves you for you so don't worry about any extra weight. If he leaves you because of 27 extra pounds (which I don't think is THAT much), than he did you a favor and is not worth your time. Marriage is hard enough as it is and there are a lot of obstacles in life, so if he can't stand by you just because you put on a few pounds, you probably aren't meant to be anyway.

You deserve someone who loves you, your mind, your sole, your personality, creativity, and lastly your body. That is real love. LOSE THE WEIGHT FOR YOU GIRLFRIEND!!!!

[Touch]

WOW!!!!!...thank you all for all your kind words...you people are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome!!!!!!!....to be truthful my b/f is a wonderful man...and i know its all in my head...he's very good to me...but yes at the same time I'm scared of losing him...besides my kids...he is my everything..and he has never said a negative word about me weight...I've noticed the difference in our relationship...a big one is...The lights are always off now!!!!...I know he loves me...and on the very same hand...I'm afraid he'll give up on me....but thank you again for everyones Kind words...you are very special people!!!!...Touch...(Alayna)

[Touch]

Forgive me..Its late and I can't type!!!!...lol...

[carree]

Alayna,

You still have to do this for YOU! You are worth it!

Love,
carree

[RavenToy]

Hi Touch

I so agree with Moe! I've been with my bf for over 7 years now, and I've gained about 45 pounds during that time. Now to be honest, he's put on some padding, too. In the mean time, though - the lights in the bedroom are *off* and I make sure I always have a robe or something on when I'm walking around.

The few times in my life that I've wanted to lose weight "for" someone or for some reason outside my own inner desires, I've failed miserably. The only times I've ever been successful in eating well, exercising regularly, and losing weight are when I did it purely out of my own desire to feel good and look good. I really maintain that losing weight is a very selfish activity. Not that it's bad, mind you, but then sometimes being selfish is a very healthy thing.

[hefty1]

touch: if he didn't love you for you he probably would have long ago. he has more to love, the way you are now. i agree with the others.

glen