Night time sugar and alcohol binging. I feel like an addict. :(
I have been stuck in an aweful rut for a few months, but its getting worse. My day starts with a 5-7 mile run. Then a very healthy, balanced breakfst, lunch, mid afternoon snack, then dinner.
After dinner, the binging starts. Junk, not junk, cereal, candy and now wine. It used to be just around TOM, but now is almost everyday. I'm not getting drunk, but still having a few glasses of wine.
I saw a nutritionist that specialized in sports nutrition to be sure I was eating properly for my running. I am consuming enough calories. The stuff is in the house because I don't live alone, and my husband would like to keep such things in the house.
I feel as powerless as I imagine an alcoholic would feel. I never had a problem with drinking (though binge eating and I go way back). I start looking forward to my drinking/ eating binges by last afternoon.
The nutritionist was nice but her answer is just find something to distract myself. Its not that simple.
These binges are keeping me bouncing around between 150 and like 154 lbs. (Dependent on how much I'm running and how bad the binges are)
I feel like I've lost control. And with the binging, it was only around TOM, like I said but now its just nonstop.
I saw the title of your post and my first thought was --- don't keep those things in the house! But having a hubby that likes these things around can make that scenario difficult.
I blow it at night too. I go for the sweets. Fortantely I live alone. Unfortantely I still bring this crap home. I have found that a cup of hot coffee or tea with splenda will satisfy my thirst AND the sweet tooth.
Instead of a glass of wine to relax, maybe a gin and diet tonic? Or is it the sweetness of the wine that gets you?
I don't have much advice because I have the same struggles. Maybe sit your hubby down and think of things that he can keep in the house that you don't like? A compromise of sorts?
You have lost an incredible amount of weight so obviously you are doing something right! Just try and channel that motivated and gung-ho girl you were when you first started your journey!
I SO feel for you! I have such a problem with binge eating and nobody understands that out of control feeling unless they have a similar problem. I also don't have a ton of advice. All I can say is that you have to take it one day at a time. I actually have to make it the focus of my entire existence and it's a monumental effort to stop the vicious cycle once it starts. I think it's great that you run. Would it be possible for you to run at night somehow? Maybe channel some of that energy into something that is different? I know it sounds like another way of saying distract yourself, but really, find something you love to do.
I also can behave all day long only to eat mass quantities at night. Last night, I decided that's it. No more eating after dinner. I am allowing myself just 1 cup of frozen grapes after dinner if I really feel hungry (I eat an early dinner) and then I stop.
Just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. If you can go to a room that has no food then please try that. I also like the idea of only keeping things in the house that your hubby likes but that you don't care for. Unfortunately for me, I like everything.
"I start looking forward to my drinking/ eating binges by last afternoon."
While I am not experiencing quite the same problem this statement totally stuck out to me. I know what it is like to start looking for something "food related" that isn't healthy whether drinking/eating binge, over-calorie dinner, etc.
Distraction isn't simple. I agree. I took more of the "X amount of time to retrain" approach. Meaning I had to make a firm decision to change my habit/thought pattern.
You do have a bit of an extra problem, because it sounds like your husband is into the binge as well?
I can redirect some food related obsession with a walk, house-cleaning, a hard puzzle (especially in front of the TV), etc.
Can you challenge yourself to start retraining what you look forward to? I am not sure that just subbing out for healthier eating at that time of night will ultimately break the cycle.
I had to intensely focus for several weeks on retraining my uncontrolled eating at night/in front of the TV habit. Now my mind and body no longer has a late night eating expectation. But it wasn't easy or fixed in a couple of days.
Some people need to go cold turkey. I did better with reduction until gone. This also allows for nights in which I just am going to lightly snack. But reading this site helps me understand that for some people binges are serious business and the occasionally slip for some people has bigger consequences than others.
Can you tell yourself "tonight, no binge drinking/eating" and see how you feel the next morning? Do you think maybe the first night would be the worst? In my case just getting past those first few days and surviving was enough to change my attitude. I don't know how long you have been running, but to me it is like starting a workout regiment. Usually if you can suffer through those first few days, few weeks, etc. suddenly you find it patterned and easier.
Best of luck. I was trying to think hard how I broke some of my cycles and in my case a lot of it was struggling through those initially first days - once I got past that, in my case it got easier. But that might not be the same for everyone.
Oh, I forgot to say that sometimes, I lie to myself. I tell myself that I will eat whatever I want tomorrow. Yep. Same with exercise. I'll tell myself I'll only do 20 minutes, but once there, I manage to do 40 by coaxing myself to do 5 more and 5 more, etc. Sometimes it's a weird mind game.
If it wasn't for alchohol I would have hit my goals a long time ago.
You don't need to get drunk to lose your control.
If stopping the wine consumption is out of the question my suggestion would be to eat fruit instead of the junk because it's just as sweet but you can only eat so much due to the fiber. Build your caloric consumption around the fruit you know you're going to be eating with your wine.
Thank you everyone. The support is really helpful. I feel like I've exhausted all my options right now. I know this needs to stop, but I am just overwhelmed by the situation.
My DH is gone for about 14 hour days, usually 4-5 days a week. I have two young kids, and my 4 year old is special needs. And I have no support system, so its just me. I'm tired and stressed, and I use this as an excuse to let myself binge at night. It used to be just food, but now its some wine as well. Not enough to be drunk by any means, just to "relax". Before I had kids, I was always an on the go person. I kept from bordem nighttime binges by not sitting around at night. I'm the kind of person, if I'm home alone, I'd go for a walk around walmart or something at like 8pm, just to get out and not sit home and eat. I was never a tv watcher until I had kids. I actually didnt own a tv for about 5 years!
Now I'm chained at home at night. Once they go to bed, I'm bored.
I was going to bed right after they did for a while. 8:01pm I was in bed. Great for weightloss, bad for happiness.
I have collected a bunch of activities, yarn to knit, I scrapbook, quilt, I love to read, but I think I just binge as a way of saying "oh poor me. Stuck home again." My DH works until midnight. The friends I have spend their evenings with their spouses, as their husbands work more typical hours.
I even went to a nutritionist, but that didn't help the emotional eating. I've tried OA. Which I liked, but every meeting I went to (I did about 10 different phone meetings) were so focused on god, and I'm an atheist, go figure. I am seeing a therapist, but everyone just wants me to journal, which I've done and done and I know my triggers and its like this demon is unstoppable, short of wiring my jaw shut...
I'm not having a pity party. Rather I'm very frustrated with myself. Its like I don't have the will power to just say no. The end of the night comes and I'm ready to stick my head in the microwave and the only thing that keeps me going is looking forward to the food / wine binge. I need to find something else to look forward to...But it feels like nothing is as exciting as binging.
And yes, my DH binges as well....which makes it 100X harder to stop. :/
But I can't even use that as an excuse because I binge when he's not here.
The thought of not over eating at night, makes me kind of down through out the day.
I feel like I just gotta do it and be done. Stop over eating/ drinking no matter how it makes me feel. But then I start to feel like I'm stopping myself from doing something I enjoy so much and I begin to rationalize that I only live once and I should be able to eat what I want and enjoy life...
Sorry to ramble but I am so tired of this, I feel like I've hit rock bottom, and yet I continue to do this.
I have in the past limited my bingesto low calories food, and it does at least make my total binge a lower calorie intake, but I have found that I will binge on anything.
I guess I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. Thank you all again.
Hi Guys, I too have trouble with Al consumption and weight. When I don't drink, it comes right off... I did go on a different kind of binge that is helping a lot -- I downloaded a ton of weight-loss free podcasts from iTunes and am listening to them all the time. I'm also just not putting myself in a public place where I might wander into a bar (I live in a resort area) for the company. It seems to be helping; several podcasts talk about how AL consumption limits fat burning.
Fortunately, I don't have any attraction to sweets. I am the only woman in the world who doesn't, I think, but I sure do like cheese and such! Like @JohnP, I would have gotten there long ago if not for the vino.
Could you try to put off eating breakfast until lunchtime, eat lunch/afternoon snack around dinner time, etc? That way you could eat a majority of your daily calories after traditional dinner time, and stay within your calorie range?
If it's the behavior you're trying to break, I can't really address that, as I have the same demons that drive me to eat/drink what I know I shouldn't have, putting the food in my mouth with a **** it attitude and promising to worry about it tomorrow.
Have you thought that running is making you hungry? I'm no expert, but I've read that on other fitness/weight training websites. Makes sense that it's true hunger vs. head hunger and that can really make me a bear.
It does sound as if you have a possible addition. Just because you run and maintain yourself during the day does not mean you don't have a problem. I can say this because that was my story. I never started until after five, I went then from alcohol to food. I was married to a person who ran Boston and was an addict. Seek some professional help. There are many reasons why people self medicate themselves and it would be good for you to find out why. It does not mean the end of the world, there are great band-aides.
Sounds like you have your hands full. I think goodforme is on to something. You seem to be in a situation where you really need some self pampering. If you plan for it, though, a glass of wine or two, a delicious (health conscious) meal and a scented bath could turn the binge into spa time.
I felt that way, especially right after my divorce. When she'd go to bed, I'd savor a low fat piece of sharp cheese and a glass of wine. Then it would be a glass of wine x2, then 3, then an entire bottle.
I finally decided that I was only going to drink on weekends. Friday, Sat or Sunday during the day. Now it's typically one of those nights and Sunday day (football and family day).
I don't know if that would help, but is it possible to not have wine in the house and have your husband pick some up on his way home if he wants it?
Thank you all again. I do see that this is a problem, and I feel like I need to put the breaks on it now before it gets out of control. Its a little scary, because I was never a drinker. If I had a drink once a year, that was a lot. It just snow balled so fast in the past year, and I'm afraid of what might happen if I continue on this road.
I do count calories to make sure I'm eating enough for running. Unfortunately I can't wait on breakfast, because I do my runs in the morning, and I really need to eat shortly after. Aside from all the recommendations to take in protien within a time frame afer a run, I'm usually hungry!
It that weirdest feeling, because its like I can see there's a problem, but I feel paralyzed to take the steps I need to take to stop it from growing. I agree there's an underlying reason, and its like I'm don't want to face whatever it is I'm distracting myself from.
I also find myself in this tug of war with running, because I really like running, and I don't want it to become something I'm doing to burn off last's nights binge...not to mention, I've missed running some mornings because I'm so tired from staying up way too late, eating and drinking, an I don't want to get up at 6am to run. (I have to do it before the kids wake up)
I think I need to find some other things in my life to look forward to. Ideally, I need some me time away from the kids. Its kind of like food and alcohol have become me friends that I know I can get together with every night. Does that sound crazy? I need new friends.
I can do totally relate! I've been stuck for several months as well, due to night time beer/food.
This thread has been very helpful for me. My DH has either been hurt or sick for the better part of the last 6 or so years. So, a lot falls on my shoulders along with my full time job. I get home from work and don't even sit down, I go right into supper, picking up, laundry mode. I'm so damn tired I can't see straight. Plus with the DH's heart condition, he gets to work ok, but does nothing at home but sleep and whine.
I think you and me are due for some pampering. A time out! I know that would help me tremendously, and of course some new friends. I have a gym membership, instead of trying to go at lunch, I think maybe I'll go there after work, even though it's really busy. That would give me a good time out and a workout.
I think I need to find some other things in my life to look forward to. Ideally, I need some me time away from the kids. Its kind of like food and alcohol have become me friends that I know I can get together with every night. Does that sound crazy? I need new friends.
This said it all for me.
You're sad. And lonely. And stressed. And overworked. But more than anything, LONELY.
You look forward to those things as if they were 'friends' because you have so much on your plate, no one to help, that they're the only fun and relaxing part of your day. And if there were no repercussions, then that would be wonderful... I'd say go for it! But unfortunately, there are repercussions. You're not happy about your weight, and you're worrying about your alcohol consumption.
So you have to deal with the loneliness... you have to figure out a way to get out every week or two. Hire a sitter for one evening a week - maybe after you've already put your kids to bed.. she'dcome over and you could go out and do something (take an evening class, go to a gym, go to a movie, meet up with a friend for coffee) etc. Even just go over to a friend's place and hang out and watch a movie. Anything where you can just RELAX and know that someone else is in charge of your house/kids.
The money for the sitter could come out of the wine budget for the week too!
Night time sugar and alcohol binging. I feel like an addict. :(
The support is really helpful. I feel like I've exhausted all my options right now. I know this needs to stop, but I am just overwhelmed by the situation.
Good luck to you!
