Sobbing in swimsuit, afraid to be seen for the first time in my life
I have never been in perfect shape, but I have always had some form of confidence. Even when I didn't feel my best, I would go out in my swim suit and play in the ocean/ pool/ whatever.
This past weekend, my boyfriend and I went to DC for my birthday. We stayed at a really nice hotel with a gorgeous pool. I changed into my swim suit in the bathroom, looked in the mirror... and started crying. I wouldn't come out of the bathroom. I got changed back into my normal clothes and told him I wouldn't be going to the pool.
I felt so dramatic and embarrassed. I decided to take charge of it and start working out/ eating better immediately. What frustrates me is that I have weight much more than I weigh right now, and I still felt confident. As I get older, it seems like my weight is distributed in a different way. It's really upsetting to me. I worry that I'll have to work twice as hard for half the results.
Just looking for support I guess.
I'm sorry. I do understand though. I don't think I can be much help here. Except to tell you, YOU can do it. There are amazing, strong women here- young and old who have done it, are doing it, and will do it. No reason to feel embarrassed. It's a difficult journey but the pay off is worth it. And, there is always that day when you think Oh gosh, is this really me? And yes it is. But, guess what? The good thing is it's you, and you can change you!
I don't know about working harder, but really we all have to work hard. It isn't easy. You should just jump on in and join us! And what if you do have to work twice as hard for the results? What if that is in fact the case? Does it mean you should give up on yourself? Not at all! And we here on 3fc will definitely not be giving up on you!
Let's just get healthy and get into a swimsuit with a smile! It's completely attainable if you want it, period.
And also BIG hugs to you! And thank you for sharing.
Last edited by ButterCup85; 06-16-2011 at 10:07 AM.
Oh boy, do I understand! I damaged my body so much that I will NEVER, ever be in a regular bathing suit. Well, not until my wrinkles cover up my stretch marks. I'm sorry you felt so terrible in your bathing suit. But you shouldn't deprive yourself of having a great time this summer. So go to Target or Kohl's or wherever and get yourself an adorable swim suit with one of those little skirts. I, personally, love board shorts. It's something I feel comfortable in and being comfortable is more important to me than what I care about what other people think. They make these skirts and shorts for a reason and they fly off the shelves for a reason too.
And because you are trying to lose weight it's no wonder you are more critical of your body and not as comfortable. It's our focus. It's on our minds ALL THE TIME. What you need to do now is find a new normal. And you will. I promise!
strongerthanfood is completely right. The first thing I did in this journey was dump cokes. That's it. Just decided no more. And after about 2 weeks I was feeling better and had lost a little weight. (I drank a lot of cokes). Then I decided to maybe start working out. I haven't been at this long at all but you will notice a difference, even if it's small it pushes you to do more. But, imo the best changes for me in this is how I feel. I am not close to where I want to be but I am feeling sooo much better about myself. You will too. Just doing something small whatever it is, you'll be proud. It feels good! And, gradually you'll do more I bet!
Thank you ladies! The whole swim suit blowout happened on Sunday, and I got right to work on Monday. When I weighed myself at the gym on Monday, I weighed 147. I got on the scale at my house this morning, and I weighed 142.8... so something is working!
I so understand how you feel! I only wear one piece swimsuits, with a little skirt designed for water. And I'm sure your boyfriend thought you looked great in spite of your thoughts. But it is scary for me because I now have stretch marks and never have before. It won't stop me from having fun, though. Just keep working ahead. You'll get there!
I actually just ordered my first two piece. Not really something planned but I needed one that's specifically made for my cup size that also fits my hips and I couldn't find an affordable one piece that could do that. It hasn't arrived yet but I'm pretty nervous! Hopefully it won't look horrid and normally when we go swimming there's hardly anybody in the pool but I'm still pretty nervous about it...
But good job at taking that and not letting it bring you down!
I am also a big fan of skirted swimsuits. I discovered skirtinis a few years agon, and I feel pretty in a swimsuit for the first time in my life! It Figures and Christina make some great suits, and I'm sure there's less expensive ones out there.
Good for you for doing something about it, but don't let it keep you out of the pool all summer!
I am obviously much larger than you and i LOVE my swimsuit! The key is to find a suit that's best for your body shape. I don't really like my huge thighs (mainly because of my big birthmark) so i always buy swim shirts to put over the suit and i feel great!
What i'm trying to say is, try to find a suit that suits you! Also, u can get some cute cover ups!
Have you ever gone to the pool or beach and seen someone whom you truly believed had no right to be there enjoying the sun and the water? Would you march over to that person and tell her that she needed to cover up, stay out of sight, get off the beach because other people--pretty people--wanted to use it without fear of seeing someone less than perfect there?
Of course you haven't. No one decent thinks that way, and the very few people who do think that way have no friends or loved ones to go to the beach or pool with them--or at least they won't for long. Rotten people don't get nice relationships.
I am bigger than you and I regret every summer that I didn't don a bathing suit and do what I once loved as a child, but gave up because...well, because putting on a bathing suit made me cry. Don't let that happen to you. Don't wind up at 41 having only recently rediscovered the joys of being in the water and thinking, "Why in **** didn't I do this sooner?"
Great post, Nola Celeste! I think everyone has a beach body NOW! Don't put off life, go take your body to the beach and have fun in the water. There is no future, there is only now. Have fun! Don't put it off!
I don't know how old you are, but the metabolism actually gets faster as you age - this is why in Nursing Homes they feed high-fat foods to the elderly. Getting healthy and fit for "old" age is great for prevention of mental and physical illnesses, and greatly extends you quality of life.
I'll tell you one thing, at my gym there are alot of HOT grannies. I'm ebing seriously, they look in better shape than most of the 20-somethings! Getting fit is always a good thing.
Sobbing in swimsuit, afraid to be seen for the first time in my life
Swimsuits are evil. 
